Choosing My Life - Bear And Rachel

Alternate reality

Rachel

I watched the scene in my yard with amazement. Not only was that woman wearing pants and showing her legs, but she was kissing her husband in public. And he was holding their child, showing affection to both. Pa would be horrified. Men did not do that, according to him. A father's only purpose was to put the children into his wife's belly and provide food and shelter. Love and affection were not required at all. Even though Pa sometimes gave it to Ma behind closed doors.

The other men weren't scandalised, though. They were cheering and clapping while they kissed. Apparently, the woman was going to have a baby. We had never celebrated Ma's pregnancies like that. The little boy had taken the young girl and was spinning her around while she laughed. My heart siezed. I remember my brothers doing that when I was little. Before Pa caught us and told us off. It wasn't right for girls and boys to mix. Look at what happened with the animals. But it didn't look bad. It looked fun.

Those three men in my yard were the first I'd seen since we were thrown out of the community. And the way they reacted. I wondered if they shared the woman like the heathens that had Pa spitting in a rant. It didn't look like it. The men all treated her with respect and care, but only one dared touch her intimately on the waist or face. That man looked at her intensely, as if she were his world. It made me question things Pa said. He used to scare me so much. But I missed him. There was so much he did that I couldn't do. My place was in the house, it didn't feel right to be outside, even though I felt happier. It just wasn't my place.

I felt a cough come up. This one brought me to my knees again. God was punishing me for my sin. I felt tears run down my face with the pain of not being able to breathe. I lost my grip on the door and fell over, still coughing. I felt hands roll me onto my side. Slowly, the coughing eased, and I was able to gasp some air into my lungs.
"I don't like this, she needs the hospital." The gruff voice of the biggest man out there growled. He was a giant with his big beard and long hair growing out everywhere.

I shook my head vigorously, starting to panic. I couldn't leave here. Who would look after the place? A woman's place is her home. She should never leave it except with her husband's express permission.
"Ok, sweet pea, no hospital."
How could a voice that sounded like a tin full of rocks be so gentle. I remembered some nights hearing Pa talk like that to Ma. Especially after my brothers died. One after the other. Then, the sickness came for the babies.

"Bear, can you get her into a bed in a warm room?" The woman's voice asked, with a bit of a snap of command. It wasn't really a request, it was an order. I tried to complain, but I was still recovering my breath.
"Which room has a fireplace." The giant's voice rumbled again.
"Fuck, none of them." The woman said. I didn't know that first word she used. It sounded bad, the way she spat it out
"Horse, can you grab some mattresses and put them in the kitchen?" That rumble was a bit louder. It hurt my ears pleasantly. I felt myself get crumpled up against a warm wall. Something clamped me close, but for some reason I wasn't scared. It was nice. If I was going to die, this is a nice way to die.

"We can move one of these beds in. Eric, are you OK with Rose?"
"That was a silly question Midwife."
"Oh fuck off, you'll understand when you have kids."
"Well I probably won't be as productive as you... living up to your road name."
"Ok Bear, she's ready, lay her down."

I felt myself being placed on a bundle of soft blankets, the warmth moved away from one side and started seeping in the other. I sighed and snuggled in. I hadn't felt this good for years.

Bear

Fuck, she may be 18, but shit, she's lighter than Eric. I put hands on my head and clenched my hair to think. I felt Horse's hand touch me.
"I'll give Mazzy a call and see if she can contact one of the churchies. See if they can send a woman to help or something." He spoke low, and wisely. I nodded.

Looking around this house, it was like stepping back in time. No water, no electricity, no gas... nothing. This family were living the harshest life possible, and drowning alone. I couldn't understand why. The uniquely devout Christian community was delightful when we spoke. The women smiling shyly at their men and their kids. The men proud of their family, love and respect shining from their eyes. What the fuck happened here? Why did they abandon this girl, and her family? This is a free book available through Wattpad (c) LTM1986. If you are not reading this on Wattpad, it had been stolen.

I stood watching Daisy assess her and settle her in, as my adrenaline slowly eased. I hoped that Maz would come through with some help. This place was triggering. Next thing I know I'd be hearing bombs and shelling in my imagination again. I drew a deep breath and walked outside. It wasn't much better despite the green. I could still see the overlay of Afghanistan devastation.

Midwife walked up to me, his eyes searching mine.
"You here or there?" He asked. I swallowed.
"There." I admitted. It had been a tough road, and knowing I could be heading back there in my mind was not good news for anyone..
"Do you need to talk, drink, or ride?" Midwife listed the options that we'd used previously, but I didn't know what I needed.

I scrubbed my face with my hands.
"Five things that you can smell?" Midwife had a snap in his voice that was pure military. I smiled a little in my beard. He'd hate if I pointed that out to him. I knew his father. I hated him almost as much as Midwife. No one liked being in a crew with someone so reckless in a war zone. The thinking brought me down a little.
"Just give me your baby, I'll play with her for a while, and remember that good exists in the world." I told him.
He snorted and smiled.
"Good luck getting her off Eric."
I sighed, nodding. Yep, those two had a special connection. Yet another sign of good in the world.