Choosing My Life - Bear And Rachel

Angry

Rachel

I wanted to change when I got home.  I didn't want to wear the dress any more.  It was good seeing Ma's gave and how tenderly it was cared for.  Mr Jefferson was a good person.  Ma always sighed sadly when he was mentioned away from Pa. She used to say the only thing wrong with him was his religion, but it was a big thing that was wrong at the time it mattered.

I think Ma was wrong.  I see more judgement in the church than I do in the clubhouse. The only person ostracized in the club house is Molly,  and only really by those she hurt. Whereas I was told by so many people in the church,  don't talk to that person because of some stupid reason. Bear was right.  It brought me down.  Today I was the target, well Bear was.  They were asking politely why he didn't come to church,  they saw him drop me off. They were horrified when I told them he didn't do religion,  not since Afghanistan. This book is free to read on Wattpad. If you're required to wait or pay money to continue reading this,  you're on the wrong app.  Go to Wattpad and look for Ltm1986 to read the entire book for free.  The poor little sheltered fuckers scurried away in horror.  Oh my, a man who physically fought in a war!!

My husband had endured hell to try and protect people like them.  The fact he felt he failed is neither here nor there.  He was a hero. He is my hero.  My kind thoughtful considerate Teddy bear,  who some nights got a bit grumpy,  or jumpy,  and needed a little bit extra time in my arms. I think I know what he feels like.  I am so angry at the congregation for their assumptions,  so angry at Ma for putting up with Pa's stupidity and forcing us to endure his madness. I'm a little bit relieved that I'm the only one left.

I stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror.  Bear could touch every part of me,  and did,  except for my breasts.  I looked at them.  They were just round globes of flesh. Why did they strike so much fear into me.  I lifted my hand and touched them.  In the mirror it looked a little like someone else touching them.  My stomach felt queasy, but I gritted my teeth and kept holding them. They were firm,  with pink nipples sticking out.  One nipple pointed outwards more than the other.  I looked down,  one was slightly bigger than the other. 

They were both white and bruise free.   I turned to the side and looked at them.  They both jutted out from my body like overstuffed raw pastries. Why were they scary to me? I drew in a breath,  I needed to talk to Bear about this.
"Bear,  can you come here a moment?" I called. He came silently  his natural footfall, light and unhurried.  It made me tingly to listen for him and suddenly have his arms sliding around my middle,  with his beard tickling my cheek.  I smiled at the regular memory as the door opened.

He gave his position away with a quick intake of breath.  I turned to him. 
"Bear, I have a question." He looked at my breasts blinking.
"Um yes?" He drawled.
"Why am I scared of my own breasts? They're not scary."
"Noooo, no they're not."
"They're good to look at?"
"Yep,  very nice."
"Why do they remind me of Pa? Every time I touch them, I think of him. And I don't want to.  There's no one who can say anything nice about him.  Even Molly gets compliments sometimes."
Bears face darkened. He dragged his eyes away from my chest with difficulty,  and stepped towards me.
"He used to beat you Rach." He reminded me. I huffed in annoyance turning to the side so the scars on my back could be seen.
"I know."
"No Rach, he did worse to you." Bear slid his arms around my waist and looked at me in the mirror, standing behind me.
"He raped you, and when you fought, he bit you.  When I first saw you in the hospital,  you had bite marks all over your breasts."
I had a flashback,  of Bear holding my face that first day,  telling me to look at him,  to trust him,  and him kissing me.  I saw the golden bruises again and gasped, shrinking back into Bear.
He quickly moved an arm to hold my shoulders.
"I'm sorry Sweet pea,  bad memories should stay the fuck away."
"No," I stopped him. The way he was holding me,  one arm above my breasts,  one arm below.  It was surreal. Like my breasts weren't part of my body. "Stay there." I told him,  looking at my image in the mirror. My breasts weren't part of me.  But I wanted them to be.

I lifted his arm from my shoulders and held it in front of my breasts.  They were hidden now,  like they usually are.  Then I lifted it up to reveal them again.  I wanted them back.  I pressed his arm against my breasts and felt the tingle of his arm hair against my nipples. It felt... good. 

"Bear,  take off your shirt." I told him.
"Um Sweet pea,  are you sure?"
I turned in his arms.
"Yes." Then I turned back to the mirror. He stepped back dropping his arms away and pulled off his shirt.  I don't know why the sight of him pulling his T shirt off by grabbing it behind his head and just pulling it off was so alluring,  but it was.  His chest glistened with the hair covering his tatts like a secret.  It was a delicious view,  I felt myself start to drool.
"Come here." I ordered him.
He hummed and stepped back behind me, his arms by his side.
I sighed contently, and reached out both hands to the side.  He gave a questioning frown and put his hands in mine.  I pulled his hands around and placed them on my breasts.  He hissed. I glanced up.
"Does that hurt?" I asked.
"No, " he groaned, "but your little friend is making an appearance."
"Oh. Why?"
"Because."

I shook my head at his silliness, still looking in the mirror, watching him unconsciously rub his thumbs across my nipples.  It felt good. I think he felt good too, from the groan he gave as I took a deep breath. 
"Oh Fuck Rachel."
I smiled.  Those words told me exactly how he was feeling,  exactly what power I had over him.  I lifted my hand away,  and he gently kneaded them.
"Tell me," he gasped
"I will," I  whispered back.  This wasn't pain, hurt... with Bear it was always, and always will be,  desire, lust, love.

I turned in his arms again and pressed my breasts against his chest.  It felt better than his hands.  The hair gently scratching my nipples as I lifted my arms to his shoulders.  His eyes were dark with desire. Something clicked in my brain.  This,  this is what I deserve.  And no one was going to keep it from me.
"Fuck me Bear." I ordered, "Fuck all of me.  Breasts included."
He drew in a deep breath before cupping my head and kissing me.  Our tongues tangled, and our hips wrestled against eachother.  All I had to get rid of were my underwear,  but Bear almost ripped his pants trying to get them off.  He bent down to pull them and his lips grazed my nipple on the way down.  It felt like an electric current had hit my clit.
"Do that again." I gasped.
"What?" He asked kissing my belly.
"Kiss my breasts, I want your face, your lips,  your mouth to be what my breasts remember and know.  From today onwards,  my body only knows you."
With a growl he lifted me and kissed me every where. Sucking on my nipples almost gave me an orgasm. I begged him to do it again. Instead he threw me on the bed before complying with my every breathy wish.  The second time I did cum. The third and fourth.  Then I lost count.  Then he brought his penis into join the fun,  and I lost control of my limbs,  time,  everything.