Choosing My Life - Bear And Rachel

The Farm

Bear

Rachel was angry when I picked her up from church today, not just I've had a hard day deflated, but don't talk to me otherwise I'm going to fuck things up sort of angry. I didn't even ask how the sermon went. I just started the truck in silence and drove off.

As we turned into the highway into town, I glanced at her.  She had tears flowing down her face. I pulled over.
"Sweet Pea, this can't go on. Every Sunday you come back upset. Why do you do this to yourself. You deserve to be happy everyday."
She looked at me with wet eyelashes.
"Oh Sweet pea," I held my arms open to her, inviting a hug.  She swallowed her tears,  scooted across the seat to me and sank into my arms before letting go of her emotions. I held her shaking body,  feeling like crying myself. 

"Tell me what's going on, please Rach." I begged her.  I felt her shake her head against my wet chest. I sighed. 
"Then please tell me what I can do to help. I hate seeing you hurt."
She lent back to look at me.
"Keep being you?" She asked. "Keep loving me,  and supporting me?"
"Always." I kissed her head,  then her mouth as she reached up for me. She let me soothe her until the tears stopped,  and a cold determination appeared on her face. Please go to Wattpad to read this book.  It is the only place where it is published,  and if found anywhere else it had been stolen and you are being scammed. Wattpad is free to read.

She slid back to her seat and brushed off her cheeks. 
"Can you take me to the farm?"
"Which farm?"
"My farm," she looked at me defiantly. "The one you rescued me from."
I almost asked her if she was sure, but the glint in her eye told me she was.

I put the truck into gear and pulled into the highway again. We arrived at the farm about 10 minutes later.  It was slightly different to how it had been.  The cattle in the pasture were fat and healthy. The fences perfect.  However the barn had slid over another few degrees,  and the house was still on its last legs.  I pulled up and Rachel looked out fearfully.  She seemed frozen,  breathing shallowly.
"Is this enough?" I asked her. She slowly turned her head to me, with her eyes wide open. 
"It's enough," I cleared my throat and turned on the truck.
"No," Rachel's hand grabbed mine. "I, I need to do something." She pulled at the handle and hopped out of the truck. I switched it off and hopped out after her. 

She walked carefully towards the house.
"Rach," I caught up with her,  taking her hand. " Whatever you're planning,  you're not doing this alone."
She glanced up at me,  and I saw the glimmer of a smile. Then she huffed out a breath.
"Let's go to the graveyard." She said.

It was the last place I wanted to go,  but we did.  There were flowers planted all over the graves, except one.  That one was bare. Rachel's eyes slid over the desecrated and neglected one that only had a rough cross marking it as a grave. Her gaze lingered on the tendered graves.
"Who did this?" She asked.

"I'm guessing Jefferson.  He's agisting the farm from you.  Those are his cows over there." I replied.  "He's also taken the chickens away to add to his flock. He said he'll bring some back when you're ready.  And he seems to like your pigs."
She smiled,
"Ma always said he was a good man." Her smile dropped, "she only ever said it when Pa wasn't here though. Then she'd tell me that a good man wasn't made by religion." Rachel's face was fierce, and she stood watching the flowers dance. I transferred her hand to my other one and stepped behind her, making sure to keep my arms near her waist. She sighed and lent back on me.
"I love you,  Bear.  You've brought me great joy,  and understanding. You've been very patient with me and my troubles." She murmured. 

A grunt greeted us as the big Mama pig walked over to the fence that was put up.  She was all alone.
"Where's her babies?" Rachel asked.
"They grew up, so Jefferson sold them for you." I explained. She squinted up at me.
"Where's the money?" She demanded.
I laughed.  My little sweet pea had excelled at bookkeeping.
"You have your own account that all the money is going into.  Agistment fees,  livestock sales, the lot.  Take a look at all the accounts on the laptop when you get home. You'll find it. " I lent down and kissed her head.
"What's mine is yours,  and what's yours is yours too." I told her.

She spun in my arms.
"I have money of my own? Why? you've never said no to me buying anything? Why would I need my own money?"
I looked down at her, trying to think of how to explain my thoughts to her.
"Because you're your own woman,  and you shouldn't have to rely on me.  I say yes to your wants because I want to say yes.  I like seeing you happy.  But if something happens, I don't want you to feel trapped.  I want you to be able to have the freedom to leave me if you want to.  I want you to be free to make any choice you want to." I paused, looking in her eyes.  Her face was soft, and freckles danced across her nose. "Does that make sense?" I asked.
She nodded.
"It does, Thankyou... can we go home now?"
I nodded,  and she turned and broke out of my arms to kneel down and briefly place a hand on her mother's grave.
"Your prayers for me came true, Ma. I just wish you'd prayed for yourself too. He was so close."

She stood up and walked towards the truck.  I looked at the graves. There was obviously a lot of history between this family and Jefferson. I sighed. It'll come out eventually.  Secrets don't tend to be buried easily.

I walked to the truck and hopped in,  seeing Rachel was already inside and belted in place.  We turned around and headed home.  Rachel scooted herself as close to me as she could be and hummed a tune that was in her head.