Choosing My Life - Bear And Rachel

The Club

Molly

I staggered into the clubhouse and took my seat next to the wall where the remains of Matchstick's memorial was. It hurt to see the disrespect. But I couldn't not come here. His soul wasn't at his grave, it was here. So everyday I came, just to be close to him. Everyday I sat here, remembering the good times we'd had. But those memories weren't as bright as they used to be.

People didn't sit with me to share them any more. Now I sat and watched the happy families sit away from me, and toasted Matchstick's memory by myself. Today I watched Bear bring his new wife to the club. She was a frail little thing. Matchstick would have loved her. Except that she wore a long dress that covered her up almost totally. He loved a bit of skin, did my Matchstick.

I noticed everyone walking up to Bear to congratulate him. He looked happy. I hadn't seen him smile that much. Then my daughter walked in. She was proudly wearing Midwife's cut. No one seemed to mind that she'd swapped to another brother. In fact they seemed to applaud her. I didn't understand. Club life had changed, and I was jealous. I would have loved to not have to worry about where Matchstick was at night. Daisy didn't have that problem. Midwife's eyes were always on her, or on my granddaughter. I wish I'd had that from Matchstick, instead of having to fight every woman for his attention. Although he had been proud of me for my ability to do that. I'd earnt every bit of jewellery he'd given me.

I was still yet to meet my granddaughter. I tried once, and was firmly rebuffed. Daisy didn't even acknowledge me any more, and Midwife scared me away. Blaze told me to give up, but I didn't know how. This is a free book available through Wattpad. It is written by LTM1986 who writes for the joy of reading the comments from the readers. If you'd like to read this book please go to Wattpad and join the community there. If you continue on a pay per chapter suite, you're only ripping yourself off. Matchstick had taught me to fight, only now I couldn't win.

Shaquille came through the door, with Dylan.
"Aunty Rachel!!" He squealed and ran to Bear's wife. Bear was the one who caught him though, and placed him on her lap for her to squeeze. They did look similar. I blinked back tears.
"Life's moving on, Matchstick. And I'm missing you. I don't understand anything that has happened since you left me. No one talks to me any more."

"Probably because you're a vicious old woman." Crackers placed a plate of lasagna in front of me. " Eat up."
"Thankyou Crackers." I picked up the fork and had a mouthful. It wasn't the first time that he'd said that to me.

"Daddy!!!"
I looked up to see Dylan wiggling off that woman's lap and running to the door. A man was crouching down with his arms wide open and a big smile on his face. Tears were also flowing.
"Dylan!" He wrapped his arms around Dylan as soon as they hit each other and stood up, lifting the child off his feet and swinging him around with his face buried in Dylan's shoulder.
"God I've missed you!" His face lifted, and Blaze looked at his son with gleaming eyes, then kissed his cheeks.

Dylan giggled and squirmed.
"Dad, Dad, come and meet my Aunty Rachel! She's Momma's sister!"
Blaze let Dylan drop to the floor, but kept his hand on the child's arm, and let him drag him to where Bear and his wife were sitting. The two men nodded at each other, and Blaze shook the woman's hand quickly before sitting down with Dylan on his lap. I sat up expectantly. He'll be over here soon to say hello.

Then Prez walked in with his horde of children.
"Uncle Blaze!" The little black girl shrieked and ran to my son in law, who reached for her just as he had his own son.
"Hey D2! I get to give you one of these properly." He squeezed her and kissed her on her black curls. My mouth dropped open. Blaze kissed D2 and treated her as if... I stopped the thought. I didn't want to get in any more trouble with Prez and his family. He could so easily cut me off from the club, and then where would I go to be with Matchstick.

"Well, well... I never thought I'd see the day that Blaze Lovelace would be hugging his own kid let alone one of Prez's princesses. Whoop there's the other princess." Crackers had pulled up a chair on the other side, and was sitting watching with a beer.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Fucked if I know... but it looks like young Blaze has made some changes. About time too. That arsehole of yours fucked him up real good."

I looked back at the table. It was getting crowded now as people converged around it. It was a good opportunity to try again. I stood up.
"Sit down Molly." Crackers sighed, "you fucked up your relationship with Daisy good and proper. She's not going to speak to you."
"She might, with Blaze here, she might."

Rachel

I watched my nephew's father hold his son. There was so much love there. I'd never seen Pa give that much affection to any of us. Dylan was a very lucky child. But maybe it was how fathers should behave with their children. Daisy's husband, Midwife, was also very caring to Rosey, and Prez was currently carrying his youngest on his back. It made me regret taking that injection. I would love to see Bear with our children. One day I will. I hope he will be like these other men.

I noticed an old lady shuffling towards us. She seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"Bear, who is that?" I asked.
"Oh hell no." He muttered, and then glanced at Daisy. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Midwife's face got grim.
"What?" I looked at all of them confused. Blaze looked at them too and then over his shoulder. He growled and stood up.
"Stop there, Molly." He ordered. She obeyed, and started to stammer.
"H- hi Blaze,"
"Turn around Molly, you're not welcome here." He stated firmly.
Her eyes filled with unshed tears.
"I just want to talk to my daughter."
"You have no daughter, you chased her away." Daisy spoke up, glaring at the woman. Midwife pulled her closer to him.
"I'm sorry," the woman wept.
"For what?" Midwife asked. The woman gaped at him.
"What exactly are you sorry about?" He repeated. She opened her jaw a few times then,
"I'm sorry for thinking you could accept the things I did, I'm sorry for not noticing."
"Thankyou for that, but it's not enough, Molly. Turn around and leave us alone."
"Please, Daisy."
"No Molly, you made your choices. Own them."

The woman turned and shuffled slowly back to her chair.
"Who is she?" I asked.
"My former mother." Daisy snapped. "She essentially blamed me for causing my sons death." The faces around me were strained and angry, except for Blaze who looked guilty.
"Daiz, I just want to say... I am sorry. Not just for not being there for you. But also for not treating you the way you should have been treated the whole way through. I definitely never deserved you, not like Midwife does. You made all the right decisions."
He said, looking at the blonde woman beside me. Then he took a deep breath.
"I've got to get back tonight. I've got a shift tomorrow, and the Sinners will get suspicious if I'm away too long." He glanced out the door. "I'm just going to say hi to Junior. And then I'll be back to have a meal with my son and his princess."
He squeezed each child as he mentioned them, and then stood up to walk outside.