Her Little Secret

HLS - 31

31

Fast Forward ⏭️

I woke up gripping the blanket on my bed so tightly that it almost ripped. The sweat dripping down my face left a salty taste on my swollen lips. The nightmares had gotten so bad that I sometimes woke up calling her name repeatedly with my whole face puffy. Every word in that letter keeps on hunting me. . .  The letter in which Yvonne chose to end us. I couldn't fight the tears. I was weak. I had always been. I threw my hands over my face and exhaled in a pointless attempt to catch my racing mind. Gosh. . I massage my temple cause it aches terribly. I can't even remember how I got home safe.

I willed my legs to work as I jumped out of bed and ran down the dim hall and into the bathroom. I switched on the light and started into the mirror. My reflection was crystal clear and it shows every bit of the lost woman that I was. The pain in my brown eyes was very distinct. I turned on the cold water and splashed a handful on my face. The frigidness of the water gave me the chills that ran all the way through my whole body. I shot back, feeling the pressure of tears at the back of my throat.

After drowning in my own sorrow I made my way through the house. The house was empty. . . Empty just like me. I stepped back into the kitchen and find Jago sipping her coffee.

" What the hell are you doing here? " I gasped as I saw her mischievous smile.

" Tssk. . . Is that how you pleasantly greet me a good morning Mac? Oh god. . . Here have some coffee. . ." Resting her hips against the counter she crossed her ankles and stubbornly settled in.

" Shut up Jago. . . Sumasakit ulo ko please lang."  I plopped down on a kitchen chair and rubbed circles on the side of my head.

" Tss, Eh sino ba naman kase may sabi na maglasing ka kagabe aber? "

" I don't even remember a thing from last night Jags . . " I blew on the surface of my coffee, then took a quick sip

" Well okay then, let me tell you the story. .  First sumuka ka sa kotse ko, sumuka ka sa damit ko and fvck you Macs sumuka ka din sa kama ko! Damn it nasusuka pa din ako pag naiisip ko! Naaalala mo na? "

" Really?" I took another sip from my cup. Jolt of caffeine woke me effectively.

" Pssh.. Baka di mo din naalala yung pinag-gagagawa mo sa bar kagabi. . . " I was caught off guard. I closed my eyes trying to remember the thing that had happen last night.

FLASHBACK

I leaned in and took a big swig of my mixed drinks. I swallowed it quickly and took one more.

" Tama na yan Macs, lasing ka na oh ." Jago then appeared beside me.

" No! I'm not drunk Jags.." I pushed her hand away and took another sip of my mixed drinks.

" What the hell Macsen, Tigilan mo na sabi yan."

" Come on . . . Grab a drink Jago it's on me. . . My treat! "

" Fvck this. .  How long will you be doing this ba Macsen? How long will you ruin your life" She looked at me with a haunted eyes for a long minute; then her shoulder slumped

" Until I find her . . " looking into her worried eyes. I let her see how worn down I was

" Lewis. . . three years na nakalipas. . . Marami ng pwedeng mangyari sa loob ng tatlong taon. Maybe she moved on already she maybe living a peaceful life now. But you. .  Just look at you. . . You look like a piece of shot right now, para kang tanga sa pinaggagagawa mo . " Lowering my gaze to my glass, I didn't confess that i'd wondered the same thing once or twice