Her Little Secret

HLS - 30

30

The beautiful glowing sun rises slowly over me, bringing a gleaming light to the beautiful sand and sea. It's glittering, golden rays of heat warm me from the cool breeze which hits my face. It's rainbow colors, shades of red, orange and yellow shine brightly into the gentle gust of fresh air which blows around me. Looking directly up at it, I close my eyes tightly as the intense bright whiteness of the sun blinds me.

I scan around me and I'm grateful that there is nobody else to be seen only a couple of tiny animals scattered randomly around the wide stretched beach. I can hear only a few gentle sounds, the 'whoosh' coming from the turning waves, the light wind blowing slowly. For once, I didn't need any distractions. The roar of the waved and the biting salt spray hit me at once. The hem of my robe whipped gently in the ocean breeze, cooling me in way i found refreshing. Taking a deep breath I cuddle myself and closed my eyes, trying to find the peace I needed to throw Macsen out of my mind. Just thinking of her name send a heated flare of longing through my tightly strung body. I'd felt the pull that came from finding the other half of myself. I needed her like I needed my heart to beat. I closed my eyes against a surge of longing and swallowed hard, opening my eyes in time to see Colet walking towards me.

" Sabi ko na eh. . . nandito ka" I didn't utter a word. I remain my eyes to the calm and peaceful sea that stretches out for as far as I can see.

" Nagaalala na kami sayo Sammy. . . " She continued.

" Cole. . . I'm fine." I brushed off the riot of emotions that i felt and smiled at her as if everything were okay in my damn world.

" Fine? Simula nung dumating tayo dito palagi kang tulala. . . Nggkukulong sa kwarto. . . Nagpapalipas ka din ng gutom. "

" Huuy!! You're over reacting naman ata Colet. . "

" Come on. . . Tingnan mo nga sarili mo. . . You look pale, ang payat mo na din. . Don't be so selfish Sam I consider mo din yang baby na nasa sinapupunan mo." I felt insulted as if she slapped me hard on my face.

" You don't know what I feel Colet, So shut the hell up  kase wala kang alam " I exhaled, gulping air into my chest that was too tight

" Sammy you can always talk to me naman " She held my hand and I stared at her concern eyes. I wanted to desperately talk about it. To fget help working it out in my head, But i'd never be able to tell anyone about what had happen. I'm afraid and ashamed of myself.

"I'm okay Cole really. . .  You don't have to worry about me. "

" Stubborn Sammy . . . Eh bakit di mo kase sinama si Macsen dito."

" Ang ganda-ganda talaga dito. . . Very relaxing " I quickly dodge her inquiry and change the topic instead

" Alam mo nakakahalata na ko, You always diverted the topic when it comes to Macsen . . . " I stiffened. I close my eyes figthing the raging emotions I felt

" We're over Colet. " I whispered. Hoping she will just drop the subject off.

" What?! Bakit? Paano? Anong nangyari?"  Of course she is Colet, she will not drop the subject.

" Can we not talk about it?" I was too emotional  and too raw to deal with Colet and I was still reeling from the drama I passed.

" Well what about your unborn child? Siya ung other Mom niyan diba? I mean she has the means to pay for the session and do the IVF so I bet you guys did it" That caught me off guard. Everything in my life seemed to be shaken up

" Wala siyang anak. . . This baby is mine! " My eyes closed and tears tracked down my cheeks. My emotions are easily flipping upside down lately.

" Baliw ka na ba Samantha? She has every right to know about your unborn child that the IVF worked, Sammy anak niya din yan "

" NO. . . She doesn't need to know that the IVF worked" I can hear my stern voice loudly

"  Bakit hindi pwede? Magulang din siya Samantha, How would she feel kung itatago mo ung anak niya sa kanya. Can't you even consider that even for the sake of the ch--"

" Ako yung magdadala sa kanya Colet, Ako yung nanay niya, If I said NO... then it's a fvcking NO." I cut her off.

" Hindi ka man lang ba maawa sa anak mo? " I was suddenly struck with the knowledge that I would have to keep a dreadful secret from Macsen. But for how long?

" Can't you get it. . . I just can't tell her. . ."

" Why?" I shoock my head violently my throat too tight to say anything else to Colet

" Sam. . ." My chest heaved as I tried to stem the need to sob.

" T*ng*na Colet. . . Cause she is married! " i shouted at her.

" What? Samantha" She tried to absorb that information, struggling with it and then she let a deep sigh

" Now you get me? Kaya Hindi niya pwedeng malaman, it would be a whole new mess if she will knew about the baby, Mas lalong gugulo yung sitwasyon namin. She has a legal wife and me.. I'm just her little secret, the other woman. . . Isang kabit." More tears fell and I brushed them impatiently away from my cheeks. The waves crashed against the shore in rhythmic roars. Seagulls screeched overhead, their wings stretched to ride the powerful breeze. I waited a beat, To give Colet a change to speak first. I wasn't terribly surprised when she just sat there in silence.

" Gosh. . . I-- I can't believe it. " She threw up one hand in frustration, then raked it through her hair. For a moment she remained hard-faced and immovable. Then she cursed under her breath and unfolded.

" Please Colet. . . Hindi pwedeng malamang ni Macsen to. . .  I don't want my baby to get involved in this chaos. . Ayokong paglaki niya matawag siyang anak sa labas. . . Just thinking about it . . . Cole it already breaks my heart. I can raise the baby with or without Macsen. " I reached her hands and squeezed it. The tension in her shoulders eased and her mouth curved ruefully.

" I understand Samantha . ." Her hands came up and pushed through my hair, combing it back from my forehead  and cheeks with a gentleness that brought tears to my eyes.

" Thank you Cole. . " she gave a curt nod which didn't help me feel better about what she was feeling .

" What's your plan then? "

" I'm going back home Cole. . . Natatakot lang ako sa magiging reaksyon ni Daddy. . . I'm such a disappointment for them. . . " That terrified me. How will they take it? Na yung Unica Ihja nila ay naging kabit

" Don't say that. . . Sammy I'm coming with you. . ." I came to a dead stop and pivoted to face her started at her for a long minute, my heart beating too quickly in my chest. I couldn't speak  past the ache in my throat.

" Let's say that we both decided to proceed with the IVF and it work, I'll be the other Mom i'll take care of the both of you and then I'll talk to your parents and asked for your hand in marriage and then we will get married "

A/N: pick 1 , 2 or 3 for the Baby's name, Ubusin na ang drafts!!!