Falling Embers

33

CHAPTER 33

               "Mahal kita... kaya paanong gugustuhin kong casual lang 'to, Nikos?"

Those words from me echoed all over my head. I want him to know that I love him. Na hindi lang basta basta ang nararamdaman ko sakanya. That I've been trying to hide these feelings for him! So we could keep our friendship!

"Mahal mo 'ko?" His brows furrowed. Naluluha akong tumango sakanya.

Malaki ang posibilidad na mawawala na ang pagkakaibigan namin. But it's not like we have a choice! Or should I say na ako ang walang choice saming dalawa! Kung ano mang maging desisyon niya, 'yon na 'yon! I cannot oppose that.

If ever he'll reject me, wala akong magagawa ro'n. Hindi ko siya pwedeng piliting gustuhin ako. But if we have mutual feelings... I'm more than sure that I want us together!

That I want us to take a risk.

Dahil ano pa bang hindi namin nagagawa? Marami nang nangyari! We... we had sex, and he knows my feelings for him already! Wala na akong maitatago. Wala na rin akong panghihinayangang mawala samin.

I'm so done keeping my feelings for him.

I licked my lips. "I've been trying to keep it from you—"

Natigilan ako nang bigla siyang tumawa. At that moment, I want to punch him for laughing! What's so funny? Hindi ito madali sakin! Anong karapatan niyang tumawa na para bang biro lang itong sinasabi ko ngayon?

I'm risking him here! I'm risking our friendship here!

"What's funny, Nikos—"

"You're lying, aren't you?" He arched his brow. May bakas pa rin ng ngiti sa labi niya.

Para akong nanghina sa narinig ko sakanya. Naglakad pa siya papunta sa living room ng kanyang opisina habang luhaan ang mga mata kong sinusundan siya ng tingin.

"What do you mean, Nikos? A-anong..."

"I know you, Peach. You're a jealous type of person. I think you're just saying that because you're jealous." He arched his brow. Humalukipkip pa ito habang hinihintay ang sasabihin ko.

"What jealous are you talking about, Nikos?" My voice cracked.

Why would I get jealous? At paano naman? Isa pa, kanino naman? I don't understand! I want to understand dahil sa tingin ko, siya lang ang nakakaintindi sa mga sinasabi niya!

He smirked. "Matagal mo na 'kong mahal? Bakit hindi ko naramdaman? Why are you making a move now that I diverted my attention to someone else already?"

Nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya. I don't understand! Paanong... at kanino naman? Ni hindi ko nga naisip ang tungkol do'n!

"Nikos—"

"Jana, right? The model? Nakikipagpaligsahan ka sakanya? For what, Peach? Because you're scared that I'm diverting my attention to someone else? Bakit hindi noon, right? I don't understand. What exactly do you want, Peach?"

What? So, he thinks that I'm only chasing him like this and trying my luck like this dahil sa nakikipagpaligsahan ako sa Jana na 'yon? Bakit ko naman gagawin 'yon, putang ina?

"Putang ina, Nikos!" sigaw ko.

Wala akong pakialam kung may makarinig man samin dito! Mumurahin ko siya dahil gusto ko siyang murahin! Ang tigas ng mukha niya para isipin na hinahabol habol ko lang siya dahil lang sa takot akong maungasan ng Jana na 'yon!

"Why? Hindi ba?"

My lips parted. I cannot believe him! My heart is aching right now. Parang gusto ko na lang sampalin ang kahit na sinong gusto ko! O kahit sinong makakasalubong ko dahil sa sama ng loob!