CM imagines

A World Without You (MorganxFem!Reader)

Warning(s): Suicide and death!!! This imagine is going to be a sad one!! It also may be triggering so read at your own risk!! 

Summary: Derek died in a car accident a month ago, and ever since his death, you begin to lose yourself in memories that you didn't know would take the one thing you had that kept you alive: your will to live. 

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"Charge to 200! Clear!" You hear the doctor yell out as the doctors worked on your fiancé. You were crying as your mutual friends, Penelope and Spencer, wrapped their arms around you in comfort while they, too, cried. All of you were close, especially you and Derek. Before you got together, Derek was the best friend you ever had, and you knew you two were meant to be. Your feelings for him grew strong to the point where you confessed your love to him in front of his then girlfriend, Savannah, which was awkward to say the least, but after that night, he confessed his love to you right back. He had said he was only with Savannah because he thought you weren't an option. If anything, he thought you loved Spencer, which in a way, you do, but you only thought of him as a friend. 

"Please save him," You whispered as you watched them try like hell to save him. "They have to, Y/n. They have to." Penelope replied in the same tone as tears streamed down her face. 

A few moments later, you heard the machine's beeping come to a long halt, which confirmed that the love of your life had died. You yell out in a loud sob, "No!" as your friends held you back trying to run into the room. The lead doctor walked out in defeat, and looked at you with sincere regret in his eyes. "I am so sorry, Y/n, but Derek didn't make it. You can go in and see him, but we will have to move his body down to the morgue in a little while." 

The doctors all walked out of the room, as you, Spencer, and Penelope walked in there to see his lifeless body. You went to his side and held his hand. It was cold. That was how you knew he was gone. You pressed your shaky lips to his, placing your head on his. "I love you so much, baby." 

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"Y/N, STOP!" You gasp as you heard the sound of a car honking as it drove by while you, completely unaware, attempted to cross the street. Thankfully, Spencer pulled you back. "Wh-what? Oh." You sigh heavily, and Spencer looked at you with concern. "Y/n, I'm totally worried about you. Penelope is too. It's been a month. Derek is gone. I've given you names and places of grief support groups-"

"I don't want to go," You snap as you began walking along the sidewalk again. "Everyone is worried. Please-just go one time. I'll even go with you. Remember when I lost Maeve? You told me about certain grief groups I can go to, and I went because I trusted your instinct, so trust mine." Spencer pleaded, but you shook your head. "I don't know if you're aware of this, Reid, but people grieve differently, okay? Let me grieve my own way. I don't want to go to any counseling or support groups. I don't want help, nor do I need it. You're not me, so you don't know what I need. You don't know what's best for me. Just leave me alone." 

"Derek wouldn't want to see you like this. I can almost hear him tell you to go in his big man tone voice. You always listen to him, and I believe this is what he'd want you to do." Spencer was getting aggravated that you weren't listening to him, but he understood what you were going through. When he lost his girlfriend, Maeve, he shut everyone out. 

"You don't know-""YES I DO KNOW." Spencer cut you off with a harsh tone, and your eyes welled up in tears at the sound of his voice. Spencer realized raising his voice wasn't the way to go, so he quickly apologized, "I'm sorry, Y/n, but Derek was like my brother. I do know what he'd say. I knew him, and you know damn well know what he'd say too. Please, get help before it becomes a problem."

"I'm going home." You mumbled as you began to walk in the direction of the house you and Derek shared together. While you were walking, more memories continued hitting you and you found yourself lost in them.

-

"Babe, I think you've had enough to drink," Derek laughed as he took your glass away. You giggle, trying to reach out for it. "I only had like, 2 glasses."  "More like, 5." Derek grins, kissing your cheek as he took your hand away from the party. "Wh-where are you taking me, silly?" Your constant giggles only made your boyfriend smile bigger as he sat you two down at an empty bench outside of the building.