Power of Gods | Loki FanFiction

XIII | not dead yet

"look like hell and you smell like death"

I have no idea how I got off the bridge - certainly not by myself - but when I woke up, I was lying in a comfortable bed. After a quick check, I discovered that all my limbs were still there. Still, for some reason, I was unable to move

I glanced along my body, but could not see anything restraining me. So I had either been drugged or it was psychosomatic. I turned my head to the side as far as I could, trying to take in the room, but all I could see was the ceiling above me and the stone walls to the right and left. The daylight that wanted to infiltrate through the windows was dimmed by light curtains.

For a brief moment, I suspected that I was still in the S.H.I.E.L.D. research station, or even better, at home, and that everything had just been a really fucked up dream, but the style didn't fit either of these options. Further proof was the lovely voice that rang to me from the foot of the bed.

"You're awake!" I would have recognized Jill's voice among thousands. So innocent, loving, and at the same time confident. I automatically had to smile. "It looks like it," I grinned. I sounded unusually rough.

I didn't quite understand why I was so happy either. Maybe that's what happens when you sleep in and narrowly escape death, as I probably did. "How long... was I gone?" I asked, a little less certain than before. I could only barely see her face, as she was still out of my field of vision, but her discomfort was almost tangible. She was silent for a moment and then mumbled an unintelligible answer. "What'd you say?" I asked and tried to turn my head towards her - I became a little more frustrated each time it wouldn't work. "Twelve days," she said, this time a little more understandable.

Twelve days... A lot could happen in twelve days. Wars could start, others could end, some countries managed to make decisions in twelve days. In twelve days you could have a nice vacation or bring down a drug ring - at least a small one, depending on how thorough you were.

"Why can't I move? And what about Loki? Is he in prison?" I asked, whereupon Jill quickly looked up and went to the wall to my right, where - I assumed - she was pressing a few buttons. "The soul-smith said you had four broken ribs and were only allowed to move very limitedly. As soon as it hurts, you should lie down again," she explained and sat down next to me on the soft mattress. "They are unsure how your body will react to the treatments because you are a human, but apparently you have enough of a goddess to survive such fights, so there is at least some hope that you have absorbed other advantages from the hammer," she explained to me and I was grateful for the calmness in her demeanor.

I started regaining the feeling in my fingers and could feel my stomach again, my legs, and finally my feet. I took the opportunity to stretch a little and finally take a closer look around the room. It was completely empty, except for the bed I was lying in - wasn't it the same as the one Loki had lain in just days before after the training accident?

Jill seemed to have read my thoughts and decided to give me some answers. "The prince insisted that you stay in the royal chambers." "Which prince?" I asked suspiciously.

"Thor. Loki..." She paused, fidgeting with her hands. "Jill, what's wrong with him? Did he escape?" The young woman in front of me shook her head. I hadn't missed the fact that she still hadn't answered my question about Loki's whereabouts, but I wasn't sure why. "Well, you could say that without being entirely wrong, but no... he's dead."

An eternal emptiness filled me, leaving no room for grief or relief or anything else I should have felt. The memory hit me like a train. The bridge. Someone had fallen. Just before I fainted.

I hadn't even particularly liked him - at least that's what I kept telling myself. But I had Loki to thank for all of this. He had shown me Asgard, taught me, tried to suck up to me. And somehow - at least I couldn't deny that part - he had managed to do that. Otherwise, I would be happy about this victory. It was far from the first loss I had had to deal with, but unlike usual, this time it felt... wrong. Mistaken and surreal.

Loki was a god. Gods didn't die just like that and why would they kill him? They could have just locked him up, he was family after all.

It felt like hours had passed, although I had only been speechless for a few seconds. Still silent, I nodded, my eyes fixed on the ceiling. I didn't say another word until I fell asleep and a few tears dripped onto the pillow next to me. Jill didn't say anything either and left after a while, but not without leaving me a few kind words of encouragement.

~

When I woke up a following morning or noon, I had no visitors and still no real feelings, apart from an almost painful hunger. So I sneaked out of the room - after putting on one of the dresses that were lying on a chair - and went in search of a kitchen. In such a large palace there certainly had to be more than one.

In the maze of corridors and rooms, it took me about half an hour to reach my destination. Satisfied, I walked towards a huge plate with all sorts of things on it. Apparently the part of the meal that wasn't good enough to present to the Royal Family, or whatever hadn't been eaten, this kind of section existed almost everywhere that served food. I took a dish and loaded it with grapes, a few tarts, and slices of bread.

Every other surface was covered with pots, serving plates, cutting boards, or stovetops. So I tried not to stand in the way and watched the seemingly chaotic but at the same time strangely structured flow of the kitchen. After a while, I noticed the general whispering that had started. My first thought was that it might be forbidden to take anything or that I wasn't allowed to be here at all.

Just as I wanted to start panicking, a female voice behind me rescued me from the situation that was getting more and more uncomfortable with every second.

"They've heard of you."

I turned around abruptly and looked at her briefly. It was the same woman who had been in Odin's chambers; Thor and Loki's mother, if I had guessed correctly. The servants around me had sunken to their knees and stood up again at her nod. I briefly considered whether I should bow too, but then it was already too late and the queen was standing in front of me.

"Why?" I knew the answer, but it was better than just standing there and remaining silent or saying something even weirder.

Generally, to say that I was a socially competent person would be a lie, but this was a whole new level. My entire body seemed to be yelling and shouting at me to run away. My teeth dug into the flesh of my inner cheek.

It was undoubtedly her presence. Her mere existence was enough to make me want to tell her everything; to confide in her my every problem. And I knew that she would solve it with a snap of her fingers. All worries and pain would disappear. I felt too comfortable with her.

I hadn't felt this terrified in years.

"Let's walk a bit. I'll explain everything to you." That was the sentence I had been waiting for since I first got here. My body and my mind seemed to be fighting each other. The need to escape against my constant desire for answers. Maybe this was my only chance.

I clenched my hands into fists and followed her into the hallway.

For a while, we just walked side by side and slowly - very slowly - but surely the instinct to run faded away.

"I'm really sorry about your son," I finally said as we walked through an open colonnade into a huge garden.

Instead of replying, she sat down on a bench in the cozy garden planted with roses and other flowers. "You're looking for answers. I want to give them to you. You deserve them after all this."

A/N:  Sorry for not updating last week. I've been feeling pretty shitty (bc i was sick) and people keep telling me to take care of myself.
Anyway, here's the new chapter. My girl <3 is scared to face her problems. She realy doesn't have it easy.