Invader Zim - Lost Chronicles of Doom! - Continuous Novel

Chapter Four - The Blackmailing of Doom

Sam walked down the sidewalk to Zim's house quickly. She knew what he was: A normal boy with a skin condition. Dib had it all wrong. And I'm not dating an insane, big-headed American, she thought. Judging by his accent, Zim was definitely not American either. Australian, maybe. I haven't heard of one like that. And the second language he speaks sometimes... it sounds kind of German.

Wherever he was from, Sam knew it wasn't America. Everyone didn't get it, she was normal--she just was an immigrant from Britain. She hesitated at his yard. Something was wrong--his yard was full of lawn gnomes. She shook her head as if to clear it. She should not be afraid of gnomes, even if they did have eerie, bulging out eyes. Sam took a brave step into his yard and slowly walked down to his door.

"Warning: Security breach!" the computer warned Zim who was working on Gir's guidance chip. "What?! Computer, take me to the front door," Zim replied, quickly putting on his costume. A circle appeared beneath him and he was elevated up to the front door. He pressed a button, making the door invisible only to his eyes. Sam stood there, ringing the doorbell.

"The Sam-human?! What does she want?!" Zim wondered to himself, opening the door. "Hello, Zim. I was wondering if I could come in," she said, giving a light smile. He looked at her with jalf closed eyes, a angry expression on his face. "No. Stay out there," he answered. "Gir! Yamaka ushed pompa (Gir! I'm going outside)," he said in Irken to Gir. He hoped Sam didn't find Irkish as an alien language. "Okayyyy!" Gir replied happily, turning on the Angry Monkey Show.

Zim stepped out, shutting the door behind him. "What is it you want, Earth-larva? Make it quick." Sam kept her nice smile on as she said, "I need a place to stay. I was hoping... well... maybe I could stay in your house?" Zim's eyes widened and his contact almost fell out. Luckily he caught it before it tilted over and fell to the ground. "No! ZIM LIVES ALONE!" he shouted. "Maybe this'll change your mind," Sam sneered, holding up a picture she stole from Dib while he was knocked out. The picture had him without his costume on as he was trying to steal the camera away from Dib.

"You know?!" he screamed. She nodded, saying, "This picture will go viral once I post it on Squirrelbook. Soooo, I suppose you should let me stay." Zim's squeegly spooch pumped faster and his pupils got small. He didn't wish to be the newest addition to the smelly humans' museum.

He took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling sharply. "Fffffine! You are to stay in the living room and the living room only!" Sam squealed with delight as she ran into the house. "Wait, no!!" Zim yelled. Gir didn't have his green dog costume on! The female gasped, stoping in her tracks, as she stared at Gir who was smiling back at her.

He decided to act dumb. "What are you looking at?" he asked as if nothing was there. "Youuuu gotta girlfriend, master!" Gir exclaimed. Zim couldn't play dumb any longer after he said that. "Gir, the smelly human is NOT, I repeat, NOT my love-worm! She blackmailed me!" the alien yelled at the top of his lungs. "Grrr? Is he your... dog robot or something?" Sam asked, clearly puzzled.

"Um... no! G-I-R, he's a, um, school project! He's a death robot originally designed by Hitler," Zim lied, picking up Gir protectively. "What does G, I, and R stand for?" she asked. "Aren't you nosey today, Earth-dirt," he snapped in a fit. He didn't like the feeling he was getting from deep inside his squeegly spooch: It told him this was a mistake, that she should be sent to Mars and left to suffocate. Zim ignored it--he would destroy her soon anyways and destroy the picture.

"You're holding me, master! Does that mean you'll make biscuits?!" Gir yelled, taking Zim's face and putting it close to his. "Rrrrrr! Gir! Stop holding me!!" he grunted loudly, struggling out of his grasp. "Ooookie dokie..." he replied, letting go of him. "I'm gonna make waffles!! WOOO HOOO!! WAFFLES!!"

Sam laughed as Zim face palmed himself. "So why do you have a monkey poster on your wall?" she asked with a smirk. "What? Oh, that, uh... Stop asking so much questions!" Zim replied, changing the subject. "So many questions," Sam corrected him. "DO NOT CRITICIZE ZIM!!" he yelled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must go to... the kitchen," he lied, remembering the top floor only had two rooms. So many lies, his squeegly spooch nagged, not enough love.

"Shut up! Zim does not need love! Zim has a mission and I will destroy Earth!" he growled to his gut under his breath. He can't shake off the feeling that he loved Sam too, but... he doesn't! He doesn't love Sam at all! Who was doing this and why? WHY?!

"Stop arguing on your mind. I know you have the bad-boy act on, but face it, you love me," she said, leaning back on the couch. Zim slowly turned around, fists clenched, teeth gritted, and the most threatening grimace on his green face which was turning pink. "I HATE YOU! IF IT WASNT FOR YOUR BLACKMAILING, I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS HORRIBLE MESS!" he screamed, so loud he could tell Test Subject 23, or Nick, was screaming too.

The human stopped smiling, a hurt expression on her face. She sniffed, and started to cry. Zim saw this and shivered, a cold claw scraping back his spine. Water was being produced from her eyes. ...Water. He stepped back, wide-eyed.

"You... you don't like me!" Sam sobbed, covering her eyes from with her hands. "I'm sorry, it's just..." she said, wiping her tears away. She saw how Zim looked wary, as if she had some kind of weapon. "Keep your water things on the couch, or I'll certainly destroy you," he threatened coldly. She gave him a puzzled look; was he afriad of drowning or something? She decided to ask.

"Zim fears nothing! It's none of your concern anyway," he replied defiantly. "Now mind your own business and stay in this room!" Sam nodded as she found the remote from deep inside the cushions of the sofa.

The Irken elite hesitated, his squeegly spooch aching, calling to him, screaming, "Love the poor girl! It's not like you're a real invader!" His gut was wrong, of course. He was the best invader ever! The Tallest even sent him to Hobo 13 to ensure his greatness. Zim shook his rectangular head as if to clear it and he walked into the kitchen. Climbing onto the toilet, the computer lowered him down to his lair.

"Computer, set a force field around the living room. Um... ignore the door. Just in case the Earth-human filth decides to leave," he commanded. A clear wall appeared on the kitchen door and the windows. Fortunately, Sam didn't notice at all.

"You can't survive without love, you know," his gut told him repeatedly. "I have so far, and Zim shall proceed to survive. Besides, in Irkology classes, it says love is the weakest, most unstable emotion in all Irkens," he replied. "With love comes hyooman emotions." He didn't like Sam, he didn't love Sam...but he had to admit, there was something odd about her--as if she wasn't human. The truth was, she wasn't. At least, not completely; not yet.