Invader Zim - Lost Chronicles of Doom! - Continuous Novel

Chapter Forty-four - The Funeral

(HOW IN THE GOSH DARNED WORLD DID I GET 2.5K SOMETHING VIEWS?! WHAT?! I KNOW I'VE MENTIONED THIS A BILLION TIMES, BUT... I DIDN'T EVEN EXPECT TO GET TEN VIEWS WHEN I PUBLISHED THIS... HOOOOOO BOY I JUST--I JUST NEED.... *blacks out*)
(Um... uh.... I accidentally made this chapter huge, so, um.... This is a 2.5K special? I guess?)

"Are you kidding?" Dib retorted, laughing a little in dismay. "Me? Evil? And you're... what? A pure-hearted, perfect princess?" He laughed harder. "Likely!"

"Just think, Dib, think with your large head--" Zim tried to growl, but Dib cut him off by screaming, "MY HEAD'S NOT BIG! Seriously! It's, like, barely above average. ...... YOUR HEAD'S BIG, NOT MINE!"

Zim raised his eyebrow at Dib and climbed back in his bed. "As Zim was--ow, OW!--" he had just strained his bruised side-- "As Zim was saying... Think with your barely above average head. Zim trusted you enough to show you I was weakened at that moment, and you stab me in the back? You realize that's even worse than destroying Earth to please others?"

"PLEASE OTHERS?!" Dib roared. "Who?! The Tallest?! THEY HATE YOU, ZIM, THEY HATE YOU!"

Zim just looked at him, but the hurt and slight curiosity in his eyes was visible. "Dib, if they hated me, wouldn't they have killed Zim by now? Anyway, as Zim was saying--again--the Evil attack the weakened. The Good defend the weakened. So, obviously, you're Ev--"

"Oh, good grief," Dib scoffed. "Like you've never made fun of me when I was showing weakness."

"Hey, people change, Dib!"

"Not you! You're still trying to destroy Earth!"

"To please Zim's T--"

"Tallest who hate him! Seriously, Zim, how stupid can you get?!"

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!!"

"YOU STOP SAYING STUPID THINGS THAT DESERVE INTERRUPTION!!"

"ZIM SPEAKS NO STUPI--"

"THAT'S STUPID!"

"WHY, YOU LITTLE WORM!"

And so, naturally, the argument intensified into a brawl, and a brawl intensified into a fight to the death. Naturally. Nurses and doctors busted into the room, wrestled them both into straitjackets, and even had to gag Zim to keep him from biting their fingers off. "MMF!!" he screamed in protest as he was strapped into a wheelchair. "GRRT RFF ZMMM!! MFF!!!" He kicked a nurse who was trying to strap him legs and, quite like the ambulance incident, freaked out.

"I'M NOT INSANE!! I SWEAR ON MY LIFE!" Dib tried to reason with the hospital workers, being strapped into his own wheelchair. "Please, don't do this! I'm allergic to the straitjacket material!!"

"Gag the taller one, too," ordered a doctor.

"But why?" questioned a coworker.

"He's just annoying."

Soon, the Irken and the boy were being taken out the door and into another room, both screaming, "MMF!!!!"

■■■■

"Now, I know you boys have a great deal of differences, but..." said a calm man in a black suit and red tie. "But I believe you have one thing in common. You both grieve the loss of Gaz Membrane. Her body was found a few hours ago." Stars in the sky above twinkled, as if Gaz was up there somewhere, awaiting their responses...

Are you kidding me?! Dib thought angrily, but he didn't dare scream when there were security cameras around. You just now found out? How stupid are you people?!