Invader Zim - Lost Chronicles of Doom! - Continuous Novel

Chapter Thirty-Eight - Ruined

Um, in case you were wondering, the "Christmas gift" last chapter was Dib being dumped and Zim being freed. There. No favoritism AT ALL. Nope.

"Tak, come on, you know I'm sorry!" Dib shouted hopelessly, though Tak was still nowhere to be seen. It turns out that the figure was something similar to an old western town, with saloons and banks every five yards. "Tak! TAAAAAAAAAK!" Of course, Dib was getting a little desperate, but, hey, it's young-ish love.

"You looking for her too, huh?" a voice said from behind him. "Fat chance."

Dib whipped around to see an Irken with red eyes and a seemingly pilot-like uniform. "Who are you?" he asked, preparing himself for a fight. This Irken seemed a bit taller than most, and he knew height was important in their race. It symbolized power. This Irken, he sensed, was not one to mess with.

"The name's Gris. Irken pilot. Now, not to be nosy or anything, but why do you need Tak?" said Gris, walking around and observing him head to toe. Dib tried to force his face to stop blushing, but that made it darken even more.

"I need to find her for my own reasons. Why do you need her?" Dib retorted.

"Because she died in my secret labs and Macabre says he saw her back on Earth somewhere," Gris said casually. "And if you need her for your own reasons, then that's definitely not as important as using her to rebuild an empire. So move along, human."

"But Tak never died! She's always been alive. I mean, her skin is green, but she isn't a zombie."

"Sure about that?"

"What makes you so sure that you aren't dead? Huh?"

The Irken sighed. "I see what Zim meant about you being unusually dumb."

"What?! You know Zim?"

"Well, sorta. He kind of tried to kill me or something." She shrugged indifferently. "All I did was go to random gift shops and then end up here. Because that makes a whole lotta sense."

Dib stared at her, open-mouthed. He'd visited useless gift shops too, right before he landed in this stupid field. "But... maybe it does!" he exclaimed. The gears began to turn around and around in his head.

"I'm sorry?" Gris said, tilting her head.

"Maybe Zim has a way of sending us to an alternative universe to a time period of one of his misadventures, but then something from the real world brings us back to Earth? I think for me it was Tak, and for you...?"

Gris shrugged again and finished the sentence for him: "Macabre came and grabbed my hand. He said that we needed to do something. Then, I dunno, something shot at the ship we were in, Mack disappeared, and I woke up all sore in the middle of a field."

"That's it! When something that we love enters the alternate world, it shatters it since Zim hates love!" Dib exclaimed.

"Wait, who said that?" sassed the she-Irken. "Zim can love. Why couldn't he love?" Suddenly, as if realizing what she was saying, Gris slapped a hand over her mouth and her face turned a bright pink color. "Uh, I mean..."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "Anyways, in my world, Tak was actually the ship I was in. And... since this Macabre was actually there, I don't think he was real. I think it's like the elevator game where--"

"The escalator what now?" Gris asked as she twirled her antenna, absent-minded.

"Nevermind, but it says that the alternative world only has one person in it, so since Tak technically was a thing, she was real and Macabre wasn't! Ha! Sometimes even I impress myself with how talented I am," Dib boasted.

"Whatever, you would've never done it without me. Well, nice meeting you, but I really have to go," Gris said. "And if you find Tak, press this." She handed him a small red button that was the size of his index finger's fingernail. "It'll transport you back to your city. Don't worry--" she added, seeing the cautious look on his face, "You can trust me. Pilot's pledge. Can't break it." Her hand held one finger to her temple and wiggled her antennae vigorously, saying "Ich schwöre" under her breath three times. "There. I swear that it brings you home. And if you ask for a pinky promise, sorry, only have two fingers and a thumb."

"Right... and I bet you expect me to take you seriously? 'Ich shwore' doesn't even mean anything!" Dib spat.

"It's not shwore. It's schwöre. Umlaut on the o."

"What the freak is an umlaut?! You know what, no, take the button, I'll never be fooled. I can't trust you Irkens!"

"So it was a lie, then?" rang Tak's voice from behind Dib. "What we had? Just so you could keep an eye on me? To keep me from killing anyone?!"

"Tak!" Dib exclaimed, whipping around. "You know I didn't mean that, you're different! I mean, sure you're Irken, but--but..."

"Oh, so you only like me..." Tak started, her face shifting. Soon her skin was Caucasian and she had those calm, sharp eyes, but this time Dib could see the anger behind them. "...when I'm human?! That's... that's..."

"Discrimination," Gris finished. "Now, dear Tak, don't worry. I'll take you back to the lair on Irk and you can forget this stinking loser."

"And that's another thing!" Tak yelled. "Macabre is the murderer! The. Mur-der-er. So, um, uh, ye--HECK NO am I going back! HE KILLED ME!!!"

Dib felt like his chest was about to burst open, for his heart was pumping so fast. An Irken killed her?! When he found out where Macabre was, he'd completely obliterate their mortal soul. He clenched his fists. "Where is that guy?!" he demanded.

"Whoa, whoa. Macabre is a bit insane, much like this Dib thing, but he's not a murderer. He never touched a weapon since I found him--yeah, since I found him," Gris stammered. "Anyways, Tak, you have to come back. What about Odi? Don't you want to help her? We're working on a cure!"

"Well... then you'll have to do it without me. I don't lie to myself, Gris, no, not like you do. I'm Janitor Tak, not an Invader, and not Ilis! I will NEVER be Ilis! This--" Tak gestured towards her repaired tubing, "--THAT is what makes me who I am. And who are you to tell me what my part is in the world? You aren't anyone. You're nobody. And Dib..." The boy's heart did a jolt in his chest, not knowing if what she was going to say was bad or good. "...It was a mistake. Dating you, I mean. Like, you aren't even Irken! How am I supposed to clone both our DNAs to start a family, huh? How will this work?" Dib opened his mouth in protest. "No, don't answer. Because I know. I have my own path. My destiny, I know, is to conquer Earth." And with that, off went Tak.

No more Janitor. Time for a new beginning. Invader Tak. Then...

...Tallest Tak.

Okay, well, the ending was cheesy and corny and it was corny cheese/cheesy corn, but that's okay. Secret: I might not even go with the Tallest thing so if you don't like it, comment or PM me about it so I'll just be like "#I_Ignore_Myself_Yay" and act like nothing happened. How Tak is gonna have a 1000 foot growth spurt, I dunno. I'll find a very stupid way, probably. Well bye.