Invader Zim - Lost Chronicles of Doom! - Continuous Novel

Chapter Thirty-Seven - Christmas Gift

So I decided to take a super long break because, drum roll please, I was sick! YAY! So anyways, Thanksgiving/Christmas update because why not? Btw sorry for the long long long wait.

"What do you think Ixane did to him? I mean, she hardly opened her mouth," a voice said, dragging Zim.

"I dunno. Maybe she made him smell her breath," another voice sounded. They both howled with laughter, putting some extra jump into their giddy stride. "Ah," it heaved, satisfied, "Maybe Boss'll give us a raise for getting the runt." He pointed to the Irken who was seemingly attempting to pull off his antennae.

"Heh, yeah, a raise," said first voice. "This one shoulda never tried to steal our planet. It wa'n't even marked for Irken invasion. The little green man destroyed our star..." His green, beady eyes glared behind him in a fit of concealed fury. The Irken tensed, perked an antenna, and suddenly went very still.

"Aw, c'mon, you're scarin' him," the one with blue eyes said.

"Fear nuthin..... idiots..... Ahm Zim...!" Zim muttered, getting himself into a clumsy sitting position as he was dragged across the floor. "C'n walk, y'know."

The two Planet Jackers (haha, you know what they are now) exchanged dubious looks. "If you want we can carry ya," said Blue.

Green punched him on the arm. "Idiot! He's the little dimwit who killed half our race! If he's complaining about a little dragging, the little man will learn the word P-A-N-E!"

Zim blinked. "Isn't that, you know, the wrong 'pain'? And why'd you have to spell it out?"

Green growled and yelled, "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT! Gosh, little green men are horrible!"

"IRKENS! Not green men!" Zim shouted. You know what? he thought, I'm getting out of this place. Of course, that was very dumb of him to think that now, but it's better late than never. His Pak arms sprouted and he swerved out of the grasp of the Jackers. "See you never!" his voice shouted as he leapt into action, tearing down the dark corridor. Where he was going, he didn't know. Actually, he didn't care. His mind was on what horrible things would happen to Therium, the Planet Jackers, Ixane..... all of them. The Tallest would take care of him. So... so why did Zim have a sudden feeling of great doubt? Well, they did try to kill me.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize that he was about to run into someone. He felt his Pak arms stumble, and his body made contact with the hard ground. A smell filled the air; Zim knew that he had busted open a knee, his blood's putrid repairing smell filling the cave. "Watch it!" Zim yelled. Then he saw who it was and his face turned a faint color of pink. "Gaz...?"

The girl muttered something and got up from the ground, brushing dust off her clothes. "Come on, before the Puking Jerks come back," she growled.

"Planet Jackers," he corrected. "They're not called Puking Jerks. Those are members of the Resisty." Either the human didn't grt the joke, or was too dumb to understand it, because she looked at him angrily. "Right, run now, comment later."

"We're going to my dad's lair, c'mon," Gaz ordered as she took hold of a Pak arm and began dragging the Irken.

"I can walk!" Zim snapped. He got up abruptly and made his Pak arm slide for her ferocious grip.

"Hey, I can either put you back with those Punk Jockeys, or you can come with me. You're choice."

Zim took a moment to think it over. Pros, he thought, pros are... I get free, I don't die, um, and I could get the last part to the Gargantis Array... His antenna perked. The Gargantis Array! After all this time, it still wasn't activated! Right, keep on task...

"Hurry up, I don't have all day!"

Cons? She might attack me... feisty beast... And I'm at that human's lab, she might take off my disguise, tell some scientists, maybe even Dib, and--. He stopped thinking. A shiver ran through him. "I should stop coming across my paranoia," Zim said out loud. "I'm starting to sound like Dib, heh." Gaz raised her eyebrows. "Uhm, yes, I'm coming." And with that, they rushed off.

■■■■■

An arm cut off Dib's straight path. Tak's arm. The sudden irregular movement knocked his fairly large brain out of La-La Land and made it walk straight into his head. "What?" Dib grumbled.

"Look, I think I see something," Tak replied hopefully. "It could be civilization, or--or not."

Dib squinted through the bright daylight. Of course, it could've possibly been a hallucination from the hot sun or maybe just an animal, but Dib decided that some hope is better than none at all. "Maybe you should wait here. It could be dangerous," suggested the boy.

"Are you insane?! Who's the one who survived five years on planet Dirt and then another five years lost in space? Me. Who's the one who cried when Gaz ate an ultra rare alien gummy bear?" Tak argued, looking at Dib expectantly.

He sighed. "I regret telling you that story. Anyways, I'm the man, so I should do it!"

"Pfft, man? Your voice still cracks! Besides, I have seniority."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! I'm way older than one of your rarest football cards! So I should go."

"No, I have a larger IQ."

"No, I'm armed with a Pak!"

"No, I can take of care myself without any help from a stupid robot sidekick!"

The two fought for about ten more minutes and by the time they decided they would go together, they were red in the face from screaming. "Big head," Tak muttered.

"Green head," Dib grumbled back.

They both began to feel whatever bit of joy bubble up from somewhere in their disgusting organ/s; they laughed and laughed, throwing insults at each other, though Tak seemed to use "insane big headed moron" a lot. They got serious when Dib said, "Wannabe Invader."

"Let's go," Tak said solemnly. "Whatever that is, standing here doing nothing isn't going to make it come closer. C'mon."

Dib sensed something wrong. "Tak, I didn't mean it, I was just... being dumb. Uh, sorry?"

"That's right, you are," Tak snapped over her shoulder as she started walking toward the figure in the distance.

"Tak, I--I.... wait up!" he called, speeding after her now-running body. "Please, you called me a dookie-turd!" Tak shot him an angry look. "Uh. Well, anyways, I'm sorry! I completely agree you should be an Invader instead of Zim. Honest! I mean, who wouldn't want a cunning, sly, almost-as-tall-as-Gaz Irken destroying their world?"

"Thanks, Dib, but maybe you should leave me alone for a little while," Tak said. Then, before Dib could stop her, she sprinted into the shadows of the figure in the distance, leaving Dib to eat her dust.

"Tak," Dib said hopelessly, "don't go..."

Bam one chapter in a day after a 9000000 week break. Well, hoped you enjoyed it. I guess. G'bye.