Invader Zim - Lost Chronicles of Doom! - Continuous Novel

Chapter Five - Envious Dib...

The boy walked over to his purple house. It was late--very late--and the lightning fence was turned on. "Oh, man, dad's gonna..." he said, his voice trailing off. Dib forgot that his dad was at work for twenty-three hours a day except for Sunday, and even then he would spend his time in his lab. He used to be different before his mother left. He used to have time for kids.

He opened the door to his house, stepping in silently. Gaz was still awake and, of course, playing her all-new Game Slave Three. She hardly even noticed him. He sat down on the other side of the couch and turned on Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries. "The question you've asked all your life is still trying to be answered: Are aliens real? Perhaps they are. Or maybe... they're really Pigfoot in disguise!" the narrator said, his hands intertwined. Dib rolled his eyes, they always had dumb stuff on there. He loved the issues of real paranormal sightings, but on the silly episodes where there's a guy in a chicken suit pretending to be Chickenfoot, he presses the "OFF" button.

"Thanks for watching Mysterious Mysteries. Remember, they're among us." Dib frowned because he missed the special episode that he was talking about for weeks. "Darn! Gaz, did you record that like I asked you to?" he asked. "How many times do I have to tell you, Dib, that I hate your stupid show!" Gaz yelled back. "It's not stupid!" he retorted. "It's about paranormal things in the world! And, it's my way to expose Zim!"

"You don't get it, do you, Dib? You've sent, like, fifteen pictures of Zim, but none of the episodes have anything about him. So forget it, you aren't going to be able to carry on your paranormal career!" Gaz argued skillfully, as if she'd rehearsed it in her head. Dib looked down as he realized Gaz was right. Then he remembered how Sam liked Zim and he clenched his fist. He would expose Zim, if it was the last thing he did.

Her words echoed in his head, like a constant calling: "Maybe if you were friends with Zim..." That's impossible. He's an alien, an alien! I can't befriend him! Dib thought, though no matter how hard he tried to shake it off, he still felt the words bouncing around his big head.

Even if he somehow brought up the will to ask for friendship with the alien scourge, there was no guarantee that Zim will forgive him and let them be friends. Actually, Dib thought, there isn't even a chance. Zim will just think it's a trap...or something. The boy was crushed, as if he was jammed in between a rock and a wall. How could he make the choice? If he exposed Zim, Sam wouldn't like him anymore, but she'd hate Dib even more. If he asked for friendship with Zim, he would decline and never let the fact go that he wanted to be friends.

"If I don't know the facts, it'll be hard to find a way out," he said to himself as he grabbed his cloaking device and stuck it to his lab coat. He turned invisible, taking his dad's hi-tech binoculars with him. "You do realize I'm telling dad," Gaz remarked.

He ignored her; this was for the sake of the Earth! Or...maybe just the sake of his social life, but still. As defender of his planet, he'll do whatever it takes to make Zim's guard get all..."droppy". Taking his crush away (if he even liked her) would make him depressed, thus taking the will to do anything--including kicking out intruders. He just needed the facts.

The door slammed shut behind him as Dib sped off to the alien's house. Time to see what this alien thinks about Sam...

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"Gir, I have completed your guidance system's upgrades. Now watch as I amaze you!" Zim bragged, holding the chip in the air. "You will now have the power to heal! You know, in case the Dib-worm tries to..." His voice trailed off. "III got chicken!!" Gir yelled, holding out a drumstick of chicken and taking a huge bite, breaking the silence.

"Gir, put the human filth away! The smell...so horrible! Like...dead carcasses!" Zim yelled, clearly out of his little fit. "I don't wanna!" Gir protested. "Okayyy!" he added, throwing the meat in the trash. "Computer, take the trash o--" Zim started, only to be cut off by an alert. "Warning: Force field broken. Warning: Security breach," the computer said in a deep voice. "WHAT?!" the Irken screamed, his mouth opening wide. "But how?! An intruder must've come in through the window!"

"I'm going to investigate." Zim stepped up to his platform and was elevated up to the living room, his disguise on. Sam was lying on the couch watching the Scary Monkey Show with a bored expression on her face. The window was wide open. "You there! What did you do?!" Zim yelled at her, his back slouched over and his fists clenched.

"I opened a window. Zim, tell me exactly why you have the heat all the way to ninety degrees," Sam replied, fanning herself with his newspaper. "And you have this heater here...my word, Zim, it must be one hundred twenty-five degrees in here!" The alien looked completely confused. "It's not even warm in here!"

"What planet do you come from?!" Sam joked. Of course, Zim took this the wrong way. "I don't know what you did, but I will find out...after your execution, of course," he replied angrily. The girl laughed, she clearly thought he was joking. "But seriously, is that a German accent you have?" she asked, her smile fading.

"Ger-man? Is that like a second race of Hu-man?"

"Pfft, you," she laughed, waving her arm. Zim felt a warm feeling deep inside his squeegly spooch, but that was all he allowed it to go. He had to remain Zim, no matter how much his gut told him to change.

"Still, you're avoiding my question. Where do you come from?" This human is persistent... Zim noted in his head, I don't like it. "I come from Earth! I LOVE EARTH!" he screamed hastily. Somehow he pushed a little laugh out of her. "Tell me," she insisted afterward. "Um... let me get a visual guide."

Zim walked out of the room without waiting for an answer as he wondered what just happened. The human just gave me a hint as to what she knows... maybe she still doesn't, I've heard sick jokes like that before... he thought repeatedly. Suddenly, an unknown force pinned him against the wall with irresistible force, crushing him.

"Gah! Release me! Release me or suffer the wrath of Zim!" he cried desperately. "No way, Zim. How'd you do it? Why does Sam love you so much?!" the force yelled, pressing the alien harder against the wall. Zim stopped screaming and tried to look at the force, but his head was at an angle in which he couldn't see anything but the sink. "Is that what this is about?! The Earth-smelly is a terrible nuisance and I want her gone! Now...release me."

The force stopped pressing, but kept Zim against the wall. "You want her gone?" it asked, smiling to himself under his cloak. "Yes, yes, I do! But if you're here to help, I suggest you leave." Dib smirked; Zim had no idea that he was the force! Clearly not, because he told him he wanted Sam gone.

"Then I have a deal for you, Invader Zim from planet Irk. A big deal."