Invader Zim - Lost Chronicles of Doom! - Continuous Novel

Chapter Six - The Death Deal

"A deal? Zim said he won't accept any--" the alien started only to be cut off by a, "I know, but this deal's as good as it can get! I can get Sam off your hands and I can stop the incredible Dib for a week or so," from the force. "Did you just say the incredible Dib?!"

Dib straightened--what was he thinking?! No stranger that tries to help Zim would call his enemy incredible! Stupid! he insulted himself. The Irken elite laughed. "You must've never met the Dib worm. Other than his huge head, he hasn't a single mighty cell in his human body!" Zim's words stung, so he couldn't help but to protest. "My--his head is not big! It's average size!"

Then Zim abruptly pushed off from the wall and Dib was sent flying into a bag of flour that Gir was going to use as a trampoline two days ago. Then, white dust was scattered everywhere! Dib was covered in the powder and his identity was spoiled. "Dib! My suspicions were correct! What do you want with the Sam larva?!" Zim yelled.

"You don't understand, I just want to hang out with her! I don't wanna get in the way of you two, oka--" Dib started, but Zim cut him off sharply. "WE AREN'T FRIENDS! She blackmailed me into letting her stay!" That explains why she's a nuisance to him, Dib thought, how come I'm just now noticing this?

"Okay, Zim, I have something really important to tell you! I know this may seem...difficult, but you need to barter with me." The alien narrowed his eyes and nodded. "You said you can get rid of some human pests for some time, yes?" he asked mischievously. He was up to something. Dib. Didn't. Care.

"Yes, yes I did. If we can pretend, note I said PRETEND, to be friends and I get Sam to love me and not you, I'll stop trying to stop you...for a week," Dib said, ignoring the pain in his gut saying not to stop the war with Zim. The invader stopped plotting in his head and began to grimace.

"Who said I have the ability to be your friend? Not that I will be, not even for theoretical reasons," Zim questioned, walking closer with an evil, angry look in his eyes. "Either this...or we switch bodies for a day. I don't want to do that, but if I have to..." the human boy replied, putting his hands up. Zim stopped in his tracks. "I will never be a human, you FOOL! Be gone with you!"

"I'm not leaving until I get what I came for, Zim. So what's your choice?"

"My choice is to remove the human pest. Computer, attack the Dib!" Zim commanded his house. Then the house started firing laser cannons at Dib, the house red with intensity. "You better leave, Dib, these laser cannons were designed to incinerate human flesh! All you'll be is scorched bone if one even touches the tip of your finger!" he taunted, laughing devilishly.

"Not if it hits you first!" Dib shouted, tackling Zim. The pair wrestled, struggling into the living room. "What on Earth is going on?!" Sam yelled, throwing Dib onto the wall and holding Zim up by the collar since he was so short. Dib's heart melted in his chest as he stared into her glorious green eyes. They were like his mother's.

"Um... I wanted to know if you could come over for dinner, but I didn't want Zim to see so I snuck in. Zim and I are friends...he just thought I was a theif. So, wanna come over?" Dib asked, smiling. With her hand on my chest like that... he thought, a tingle running down his back. Even if it is for pinning me down...

Out of the corner of his eye the boy saw Zim holding in some puke. "I'm busy," Sam replied nonchalantly. "Zim was just about to show me where he comes from." Dib stiffened as the words left her mouth. "He's taking you in space?! He'll make you implode in the lack of gravity there!" he exclaimed. She stared at him.

"I'd think not. He was getting a map--a map of the Earth. Where do you think he comes from, Uranus?"

"No, actually, he comes from Irk. Y'know, the alien planet," he snapped back matter-of-factly. "I do not! As I said numerous times before..." Zim protested, pausing to clear his throat, "I'M NORMAL!" Sam's lips pressed together, forming a thin, pink line. "Zim, I never said you were an alien. Dib, I never said he'd take me where he used to live. Plus, he doesn't live in space."

"If my antennae where hearing correctly, you stated we were...friends, yes?" Zim asked weakly. The boy closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. "Yes, we were always friends." He felt like the words were being dragged out of his vocal cords. Sam heard this and started to smile happily. "That means I can like both of you!" she announced. "Of course I'll go to your house, just let me get ready."

Sam released both of them as she picked up her hair brush and started smoothing out her fabulous hair. Dib stared because he was love struck while Zim stared because he thought she was doing a Xliatian ritual. Sam stopped brushing her hair and gave them dirty looks. "Do you mind?" she sassed.

"Of course," Dib said. He took Zim by the collar and dragged him outside. They went to the back of his house, away from the lawn gnomes. "Okay, why did you help me?!" Dib asked sharply. "It's simple, feeble human," Zim replied with a smirk, "If I help you, then you owe Zim. And what I desire...are the codes to your gaming system."

"My...gaming system? You mean my Xbox 360? Why would you want that?" Dib asked, clearly confused. He does not understand the power that holds... Zim thought. "It doesn't matter. Maybe I am not an alien, but rather a normal boy who desires entertainment. Maybe those red eyes and antennae are really just a costume. Maybe it is a skin condition, fool-boy. Just maybe."

It was insane the way Zim could take what someone knew was absolutely true and manipulate it into something else. Dib shook his head. "You're up to something, Zim, I know it. I can't figure it out yet, but I will...soon! But until then, you do have a point," Dib said, writing down the codes on a pad of paper. He handed it to Zim. The Gargantis Array will soon be mine. It's so close I can smell it, the Irken thought. Gullible Dib, this world won't know what hit it.