𝙄𝙣 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 - 𝘊𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘥

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙏𝙬𝙤. 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬

Steph walks into my room, opening the curtains and then moving to bounce on my bed, playfully. "Come on, Els, time to get up! First day of preseason training. You don't wanna be late and have Jonas breathing down your neck, do you?"

"Five more minutes..." I groan and pull the blanket over my head, "or maybe five more hours."

Steph laughs while tugging at my blanket. "Five hours? You'd miss all the training, and then who would show the new recruits how it's done?"

"I'm not feeling it today, Steph." I say, my voice muffled from the blanket over my head. "Can't I just, like... pretend I have the flu?"I peak the top half of my head out of the blanket to look at her as she raises an eyebrow at me, hands on her hips.

"You? Miss a day of soccer? I've never seen you run from a challenge before."

"Maybe this is the exception."

Steph sits down on the edge of my bed, softening her tone as she speaks hee next words. "Alright, what's really going on? You've been quiet for a while now. Ever since you got back from the break, you've been... different."

"I'm just tired, you know? It's preseason, long year ahead, lots of pressure..."I say as I sit up and run my eyes, avoiding Steph's gaze.

"Hmm, I don't buy it. You've never shied away from pressure. Is it something else? Someone else? You can talk to me, you know." She looks at me suspiciously

I hesitate, glancing af Steph before I look away. "It's nothing. Really. Just... some things from last season. Trying to shake it off."

Steph leans in closer, concern written over her face. "Els, you know I've got your back, right? Whatever's going on, you don't have to deal with it alone."

"I know, Steph. You're the best. It's just... preseason nerves. Promise." I force a small smile.

The aussie narrows her eyes but then decides to back off. "Alright. But I'm holding you to that. Now get up before I carry you to training myself."

I groan again, throwing the blanket off my body."Fine, fine. But if Jonas yells at me, you owe me breakfast."

"Deal. And you owe me the truth when you're ready, okay?"Steph smirks while standing up.

"Yeah. When I'm ready." I nod, my smile fading slightly at my mind going to the thought of having to see Caitlin today.

My heart pounds in my chest as I stand outside the trainign facility, waiting for Steph to finish grabbing her bag from the boot. I tug at the strap of my bag, mg fingers fidgeting. The familiar sight of the training grounds usually brought me a sense of calm and excitement, but today, it felt different. Today, the weight of last season, of the breakup with Caitlin, lingers in the air.

Steph nudges me lightly with her elbow. "You okay?" She asks, her tone casual, though her eyes were filled with concern.

I force a smile, nodding. "Yeah, just nervous to see everyone." I

Steph gives me a look, half-knowing, half-teasing. "Nervous, huh? Not buying it, but let's get inside before we're late."

As we walk through the doors, I can feel the anxiety creep up my spine. I hadn't seen Caitlin since the last game we played, 2 weeks after our breakup, and I wasn't ecavtly ready to face her again.

The changing room buzzes with chatter and laughter. The usual preseason energy. I scan the room quickly, spotting familiar faces. Beth, Leah and some of the other players greet me warmly, but I feel myself stiffen when my eyes land on Caitlin across the room.

Caitlin seems focused on a conversation with another teammate, laughing at something, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Iquickly turn away, hoping to keep my distance as much as possible.

Steoh sits down beside me, oblivious to the tension brewing inside me. "So, ready to crush it this season?" She asks with a grin.

I manage a nod, though my mind was elsewhere. "Yeah... definitely."

Training had always been my escape. Once I was on the field, everything else faded into the background.I could focus on the ball, the drills, the movement. But not today. Today, my mind kept wandering back to Caitlin-where she was, what she was doing, if our paths would cross.

Every time the drill switched, I felt a surge of panic. If we paired up for passing exercises, would I end up with Caitlin? My heart races at the thought, and I find myself subtly positioning myself near Steph or Lotte, trying to make sure I'm not paired with Caitlin.

But it wasn't just the drills. Every time Caitlin's laugh reached my ears or I caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye, my concentration slipped. A misplaced pass here, a mistimed run there-things she wouldn't normally mess up.

During our water break, Beth approaches me. "You alright, Els?" She asks, passing me a bottle. "You seem a bit... off."

I force a smile, wiping the sweat from my forehead. "Yeah, just getting back into the groove."

Beth narrows her eyes but doesn't push further. "Alright. But you know if something's up, you can talk to us."

"Thanks," I mumble, glancing towards Caitlin, who's chatting with Katie on the sidelines. I quickly look away before anyone else notices me staring.

I'm the middle of our passing drills, the inevitable happens. Caitlin and I ended up in the same rotation, our paths crossing during an exhange of the ball. I feel my pulse quicken as Caitlin jogs towards me, the ball at her feel.

"Elena," Caitlin calls out, her voice steady but lacking its usual warmth.

I hesitate for a split second, my nerves getting the better of me. I take the ball from Caitlin, but my touch was off, sending it rolling too far ahead. Caitlin stops, giving me a curious look, but says nothing.

The interaction was brief, but it rattled me up more than I wanted to admit. I spent the rest of training hyper-aware of Caitlin's presence, every accidental glance feeling like a punch to the gut.

As we wrapped up the session, I hurried to the changing room, desperate to avoid any awkward post-training run-ins with Caitlin. Steph caught up to me, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"See? Not so bad, right? You're still in one piece."

I force a laugh, though my mind's elsewhere. "Yeah. One piece," I echoe softly, but my chest feels tight.

I am in one piece, but I'm not sure how long I can keep it together if I keep seeing Caitlin every day like this.

Back at the apartment, I collapse onto the sofa, exhausted-both physically and emotionally. I stare up at the ceiling, trying to push the memories of Caitlin to the back of my mind, but it's not that easy. The season hasn't even started, and already, the weight of being around Caitlin feels unbearable.

Steph, oblivious to the inner turmoil, sits down next to me. "You were a bit off today, Els. What's going on?"

I hesitate for a moment, then force a smile. "Just preseason jitters like I said. I'll be fine."

But as I lay there, trying to convince myswld, I know it's going to be much harder to avoid Caitlin than I initially thought.