𝙄𝙣 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 - 𝘊𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘥

𝙎𝙞𝙭𝙩𝙮 𝙊𝙣𝙚. 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘈𝘸𝘢𝘺

The first night in my new apartment was rough. I tossed and turned in the too-big bed, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, wishing Caitlin were next to me. I knew this was temporary—London City Lionesses wasn't far from home, and it was only until the end of the season—but that didn't make the separation any easier. I wasn't used to sleeping without Caitlin by my side, and the apartment felt cold and empty.

By the time morning came, I barely felt rested. I rolled out of bed, groggy, and went through the motions of getting ready. There were still boxes scattered around from the move, half-unpacked, and my training gear was buried somewhere underneath. I groaned, rummaging through the mess until I found my boots.

Before heading out, I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at my phone. 'Should I call her? Just to say good morning?' After a moment of hesitation, I hit FaceTime.

Caitlin's face appears on the screen, her hair still a mess from sleep. She blinks, squinting at the camera before breaking into a sleepy smile.

"Hey, Els," she mumbles, her voice thick with sleep. "You all set for your first day?"

"Yeah, just about," I say, trying to sound upbeat, but the knot in my stomach isn't going anywhere. "Miss you, though."

Her smile softens. "I miss you too. You'll be fine, though. You're gonna smash it."

I nod, though her encouragement isn't quite enough to ease the nerves clawing at my chest. "How's training back at Arsenal?"

"Feels weird without you," she admits, running a hand through her hair. "It's quieter, for sure. But I'll survive. You've got this."

The conversation feels lighter for a moment, like a tiny piece of home reaching through the screen. But then the reminder of the distance between us creeps back in. I can see it in her eyes too. She tries to hide it, but I know her too well.

We end the call, both putting on brave faces, but I coul feel the weight of her absence in every step as I left for the training ground.

The drive to London City Lionesses isn't long, but with every passing minute, the nervous energy inside me only grew. I pulled into the parking lot, the unfamiliarity of the surroundings making my heart race. This wasn't Arsenal. These weren't the people I was used to. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, trying to shake off the anxiety creeping in.

Inside the facility, I was greeted by the manager. A tall, serious-looking woman, but there was a warmth behind her professional demeanor.

"Elena," she says, shaking my hand firmly. "Welcome to London City Lionesses. We're excited to have you."

I smile back, though my stomach twists uncomfortably. "Thanks, I'm excited to be here."

She gave me a quick tour of the facility, introducing me to the staff and some of the players who were already milling about. Everyone was friendly, but there was still that awkwardness of being the new kid. I wasn't used to being on this side of things. At Arsenal, I had my group. I had Caitlin. But here, I had to start over.

The first training session was tougher than I expected. Not because of the intensity of the drills, but because my mind was elsewhere. The team was welcoming, and the captain made an effort to include me, but every time I partnered up with someone new or tried to join in the banter, it just felt... off.

Warm-up drills were basic—sprints, stretches, the usual—but I was distracted. My thoughts kept drifting back to Arsenal. What was Caitlin doing? How was she handling training without me? Was she missing me as much as I was missing her?

When it came time for small-sided games, I forced myself to focus. I needed to prove myself, to show that I belonged here, even if it was just temporary. But the mistakes came anyway. My passes weren't as sharp, my touches were a little off. I could feel the frustration building, but I pushed it down, telling myself it was just first-day jitters.

One of the senior players, a midfielder named Jess, noticed my frustration and pulled me aside.

"Hey, don't worry about it," she says with a reassuring smile. "First day's always tough. You'll find your rhythm."

I smile back, grateful for the support, but the knot in my stomach doesn't loosen. I nod, trying to believe her. "Thanks. Just a lot on my mind."

By the time we broke up for lunch, I was exhausted—not just physically, but mentally. I joined a group of players at one of the tables, and while they were friendly, it wasn't the same as sitting with Caitlin and the girls back at Arsenal. There was no teasing, no inside jokes. I felt like an outsider, even though they were trying to make me feel welcome.

As I picked at my food, my phone buzzed with a text from Caitlin.

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣 🤍
𝙃𝙤𝙬'𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜?

𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙. 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚.

I hesitated, not wanting to sound too down, and typed back quickly:

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣 🤍

𝙃𝙤𝙬'𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜?

𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙.
𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚.

It was a lie. Sort of. Everyone was nice enough, but it didn't feel like home.

After lunch, we got into more tactical drills, and I started to feel a bit more settled. I was finding my rhythm again, making sharper passes, better runs. The coach gave me a nod of approval after I assisted on a goal during the scrimmage, and that small boost of confidence helped ease some of the tension I'd been carrying all day.

By the time training was over, I was exhausted but relieved. I had made it through the first day without completely falling apart.

The drive back to my new apartment felt longer than it should have. When I walked through the door, the silence hit me like a wall. No Caitlin. No shared meals, no teasing remarks. Just me, alone, in a place that didn't feel like home.

I showered and ate dinner in silence, scrolling through my phone absentmindedly. I wanted to text Caitlin, but I didn't know what to say. I missed her, but I didn't want to seem needy. Instead, I settled onto the couch and turned on the TV, letting the noise fill the empty space around me.

Just as I was getting ready for bed, my phone buzzed again. Caitlin was calling.

I answered, and her face filled the screen, looking just as tired as I felt. But there was warmth in her smile, and for a moment, the distance between us didn't feel so vast.

"How was the rest of your day?" Caitlin asks, her voice soft but curious.

I shrugg, trying to keep things light. "Not bad. The girls are nice. Training was tough, but I think I held my own."

She grins. "I knew you would."

The conversation started awkwardly, both of us clearly trying to fill the gap with casual chat, but as the minutes passed, we eased into it.

"Cait?" I ask after a moment of silence between us.

"Hmm?" She hums, the feeling of sleep wanting to pull her in to its hold.

"How are we going to spend 5 months away from each other like this?" I ask, quietly.

"We'll work it out, Els." Caitlin says and I hear the uncertainty in her voice, but she's trying to stay strong for me. "I promise you we'll make it out and when we do and we've been to the World Cup, I'm going to show you Australia and then we'll be back at Arsenal together."

"Promise?" My voice is barely a whisper.

"I promise, Elena." Caitlin reassured me and herself before we finally decide to reluctantly end the call.

I put my phone down and stared at the empty space beside me. I missed her more than I could put into words, but I knew we'd get through this. We had to.

With a deep breath, I pulled the covers up and closed my eyes, hoping sleep would come a little easier tonight.