Puff Pass Love| Lip Gallagher x Reader (SHAMELESS)

Anger

I nodded hearing his explanation not sure how to feel about it "It's fine, we just haven't been together long... I once moved in with my ex too fast and it obviously didn't work out" he nodded as well looking down at the carpet "Yeah, I don't wanna screw this up..." his voice trailed off as he started to overthink. My hand on top of his I smiled thinly "I know what it's like to live in a shitty house, so I understand why you want a way out" he sighed standing up now "It's not like that... I-I just don't like having to hear everyone so easily, there's too much drama and we're so close to losing the house again... I just don't know what's gonna happen next, Fiona screwed up again" I felt a lump in my throat, the thought of them losing the house and ending up on the streets reminded me of my struggles.

I managed to push past the knot in my throat in order to reply "I um... I understand, I'm sorry." he paced around the room not sure what to make of my answer to his problems "Are you?" my eyebrows shot up in shock "The fuck? Of course I am! Now I'm reconsidering..." I got up walking away locking myself in the bathroom with the sink running while feeling my throat hurt from holding in tears. I felt hurt that he would even assume I didn't care, I was ready to take him in and love him more than his family ever could. My heart raced as each of those thoughts went through me making me feel frozen, my body stayed still as tears rolled down my cheeks. It took me years to get over feeling useless again, like my presence didn't matter and here I was again ready to give my all to a man who didn't notice me but only my apartment.

My shoulders heaved as I poured out all the pent up energy during the years, for a few moments the only audible noise in the room was my quiet sobs. A soft knock brushed against the door "Y/N? Hey it's me... I'm sorry I said all that shit okay? Please just... open the door" his voice sounded low but full of guilt once again. I rolled my eyes wanting to be alone for a little while not answering, he sighed "Come on baby, I didn't mean it... I know you care about me, please just come out" I blushed at the last few words not sure if I should "It would be an honor to live with you, I shouldn't have pressured it on you so early and I see why now... please don't be mad at me" I wiped my face trying to hide the evidence. Walking over to the door hesitantly looking into his eyes,

Lip looked at me expectantly making me feel shy all over again breaking eye contact "You really locked yourself in there?" I nodded biting my lip anxiously feeling his eyes on me. The silence was real making my vulnerability more known "Why?" I shrugged looking away avoiding his gaze "I don't know" he rolled his eyes now seeming agitated "You didn't need to do that, I wasn't gonna do anything..." he scowled "I just... wanted to be alone for a minute okay?" "Taking your pills huh?" I looked at him in shock once again not sure what to think about him bringing that up "Can you not?" I said huffing and going to the kitchen. Lip followed suit getting more frustrated "You've never locked yourself in a room before! Why are you doing this all of a sudden?" "Like I said" I was being short with him which pissed him off anymore "You usually close the door if your taking your pills, not lock it" he folded his arms.

I groaned wanting the conversation to be over with already "You begged me to come out of the room, I gave you the reason... Will you ever be happy with that?" he was now silent. I sat down "You do make me happy" was all he could say causing me to cease movement, his voice sounded so heartbreaking as if he knew how I felt right now "You mean a lot to me" he continued, walking over to me "I shouldn't have put this on you... again, I'm sorry" I put down my fork turning to him from my chair as he sat across from me "I want this to work out, I didn't want to rush things and I messed up again... I don't want this to be like my last relationships" "Yeah I guess I was pressured to uh... nevermind" he made sure to avoid my curious eyes "What do you mean by that?" my voice raised a little "It's just... when we first got together some people pressured me to... ya know fuck you" my brow furrowed I look at him in anger "What the fuck!" he got up as well putting his hands out to calm me down "Woah woah woah" he tried to stop me but I shoved him away.