My Mother's Secret - A Sequel To The Summer of 1993

On A Foggy Evening

"What in the hell are you feeding this kid?" Dr. Smits asked. "He's seventeen pounds." I smiled. He looked him over and asked if I gave him the baby aspirin. I said, "yes." He looked in his eyes. He said, "His eyes look familiar." He reminded me of Edward Scissorhands when he got hungry. He got sad for that. Earlier that day, I asked my mom if she was ready for a girl's night out. I felt terrible for doing so because she was really excited.  "I just have to be home at nine," she said.   

     "So, how was the baby?"  Same asked.
"Perfect."
"Hell, with a mom like he has."
"I am so nervous about tonight. She think it is girls night out or something."
"Technically it is.  You are going to have a deep conversation."
"I am so scared."
"Don't be."
"I have never hurt my mom in my life."
"She needs to be honest with you."

I drove to get my mom. Dad was sort of pissy. He got like that when mom went anywhere. She might find a nice looking guy who could give her everything she wanted and then some and leave him. He was always scared of that. When she went back to college for her masters he was a jerk.

"I will have her home early, I swear," I told her.
"She never wants to go anywhere with me."
"It is girl talk."

I wanted to say, "it's all about you, isn't it?" It was. He loved to make digs at mom.
"I will be back by 9."
"Mmm-hmmm."

We got in my car. The fog was getting thick.

"He's been such an asshole lately," she said.
"Mom, why do you stay?"
"I guess the choices out there aren't too good. Olivia Estes wants to set me up with Peter Jabourri, who has tried to dare every female on the planet and at church David Jardins wants to date me. Well, do more than that with me. It's because I am fat. No nice looking man wants me. At one time, yes, but that was a long time ago." She looked out the window.
"Mom you are beautiful and I am not just paying you lip service."
"Tell Johnny Depp that."
"About that. I know he's my dad. His sister has fifty percent of my DNA."
"Look, I don't want any part of it!"
"Can't you tell me how you met?  Mom, I want to know. Mom, I deserve to know." I was crying.
"You're right. You deserve to know." She was crying.
"Mom, I am not doing this to be mean. There has been a hole in my heart for years. Now, over dinner. Please tell me."
"And there has been a hole in mine.  I love him.  I always have."  She was bawling.   I hugged her. 

We composed ourselves and went to eat.

We ordered the chicken fingers. She got an iced tea and we talked. Two chubby women out talking.

"Mom, why did you keep this from me?"
"I didn't want to ruin his life or yours. I am sure he has other ones running around from much prettier women."
"I understand, but how did you meet him?"
"That summer before I was to finish school, Jamie and I cleaned famous people's homes. I got Johnny Depp and Auntie Marcia. Johnny came out in a robe and nothing else one day and it was sort of history after that."
"What was he like."
"Very sweet. Very gentle. However, he had just gotten out of a relationship with Winona. It was on the rebound. It wouldn't have lasted, but for about a month, I was treated like a princess.  Besides being pregnant with you and Jackie,  those were the best days of my life."  
"What if he walked in here today?" 
"I would hide.  I mean look at me."
"Mom, you are very pretty."
"I am not.  He would run away."
"I hate what he has  done to you."
"Well, Dad is right."

    I wished she would have divorced Dad.  He did nothing for her self esteem.   I asked her hard questions, deep questions.   I asked why she dated dad.  "Well, he seemed to be the only one who liked me.  He told me I was pretty.   Trust me, I tried to find you a good dad.  Seth was the best, but in the end, I was ALL wrong for him.   Then there was Matt, a college athlete who was cute but his friends didn't like me and Kendra told him I thought he would be a good dad.  He called you a bastard.  It broke my heart."   It was a heart breaking but eye opening night.  She said, "You have my blessing to find him, but please, don't mention me."  I hugged her. 

   Two days later, Christy called.  She had talked to him and it was on for October.   He remembered a "Susan", who was "very cute", "beautiful actually". He felt remorse for not knowing about me and said, "if I can be of any help to her, I will."  She told her to keep in touch and she would stay in contact.  I asked him on a good day in court.

    Mother took it better than I thought.