My Mother's Secret - A Sequel To The Summer of 1993

Goodbye, Grandma

    Christmas was over and soon Grandma's funeral was upon us.  It was December 29, 2022.  Johnny sent flowers as "a Special Person To Madeline".   He called me to make sure I was okay.  I wasn't.  I was sad.  I was beyond sad,  I guess from the moment she laid eyes on me, Grandma was in love with me.   "Such beautiful brown eyes," she would say. "You are my doll baby."  Jackie was per porcelain doll baby and Joseph Dallas was her handsome grandson. We were a good looking family.   It was warm that day, about sixty two.   Grandma was at Mundelein Funeral Home, the house on Main Street with the weird gargoyles,  

   On Thursday was the calling and Grandma Cheryl did well.   She kept telling me how pretty I was and that she was glad my dad's sperm gave me to them.  "You are a gorgeous girl.   I hope you want to have lots and lots of babies.  Now you come over to eat," she told me.  I nodded.   She lived a few srreets over in a brick house. I just wanted her to respect my mom.   I wanted to understand her son caused a lot of problems. I wanted her to understand calling her "fat" didn't help. Mom did not fit in with the family. At lunch, mom sat staring out into space in a waiting area. Mom has a script she had to follow, meaning don't show up dad. She could not talk about work., she could not talk about achievements.  She was to be dad's puppet.  She deserved more. 

"You okay, mom?"
"Just tired."
"Sure?"
"Yeah."

Mom didn't fit in. She wasn't thin like they were. I was excused as I just had a baby. I was glad we are working on another. "Have 'em all when you are young, you don't wanna be a fatass like your mom." Jackie said, "yeah" and I guess mom heard. Mom was pretty hurt. She told me, "Sometimes I feel like it is just me and you." I kissed her cheek. I wanted to talk to Jackie.

"Hey, Jacks, wanna go to lunch tomorrow? I will treat."
"Sure. I need some sistah time. I miss you. Bring Bobby! Grandma is like so into him."
"Yeah. Look at mom, by herself. Go talk to her."
"I will but you know, she is such a fat slob." She could be like dad.
"Mom is beautiful."

She walked back to grandma. When she was around grandma Cheryl she could be a cunt.

Sam came over and put his arm around me. "What are ya thinkin about?"
"Mom, all by herself."
"I will go talk to her."
"She'd love it,"
"Remember what we talked about?"
"Yeah."
"I want to try as soon as we get home."
"Make sure Bobby is asleep."

He went and talked to mom. I could always count on him. I got Bobby from eating stuff off the floor as grandma hit her limit with him. He was tired. I was horny, so we left.

"Your mom feels out of place," he said as we drove home.
"She feels fat and ugly."
"She isn't. Sure she is heavy but I always talk about my hot mother in law. They look skinny and drawn."
"I honestly hope Johnny rocks her world."
"Your dad was drunk."
"Always."

   The next day, in a cold church, we told grandma goodbye.    My world was never going to be the same.  I had no knee to visit.  I had no one to call, and even my husband's penis and mouth could not fix that.   After the service, we went other place where we got what we wanted,  I got a few blankets, a few books, and Jackie got her Chanel shut,  "Jackie could be a model.  Nit down you get pregnant.  Let your sister squeeze out those babies!  You could model!"  I was a bit hurt in my extra long turtleneck and leggings.   Same hugged me.  "She is just inconsiderate," he reassured me.  I had a good husband.  

   The next day, u had the day off, so I took Jackie to lunch.  She went to the county inauguation because her bedtime wssd getting sworn in.   Jamie worked for the assessor and did real estate.  She had her perfect smile on her cxard and the nasal "How are you" down pat. 

   "Wow!  You look tired," she said.  "The inauguration was like so cool.  When Jaymee Bandemer retires, I am going to run."
"Wow!  Living your dream while I get fat.  We tried for a baby last night."
"God,you sound like mom.  Look. Grandma does not think before she speaks."
"Still, it hurt."
"Get over it,".

   We talked of mom.  

   "Do you think she will fuck him?"
"I don't know."
"Mom is a 'ho."
"That is so disrespectful."
"Well she was."

   I did not say much,   She was so snotty.  I was pissed at her.   We walked around the mall.  We talked about fashion, being a realtor, and Bobby.   "I think he is the cutest and I am glad you two are trying again.  You guys going out?"  I nodded.  We were going to the Kandy Korner, a small hole in the wall near where he used to live when we were dating. 

   "What do you think mom and dad are gonna do?"
"Probably nothing.  They haven't for years."
"It is kinda sad.  Mom is so mean to him by not giving him opportunities.  She went to school.  She cheated on dad."
"Yeah,  but dad isn't too kind.  Remember the fourth of July where he humiliated all of us."
"I try to forget those things."
"Oh."

   Dad was drunk and mean.   Dad was cheating with an ex.  It seemed the m.o. for BOTH of my parents.  

    It was a series afternoon and life was going to get weirder.