Making A Connection

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by mrsArmacost

by mrsArmacost

"Our neighborhood is just like this," I quipped,
"She bought the house," Sam said.
"You know, Maddie, I am proud of you. Seems you didn't get a lot of help. I am so sorry."
"But I learned."

We went to see an old aunt. Ruth, a fancy Kentucky woman just like his grandma. She was gracious. She was old school. I loved how formal the Kentucky women were. I loved the little ham sandwiches. I texted mom. She asked how Johnny was and I said "Very kind. You need to meet him." She started with this, "No. I am fat and ugly." I was going to make her meet him. She couldn't always run. "I am married now, Madeline. Haven't you forgotten?" One of her admirers said, "It's on paper. That is it. You are his free caregiver. We all know that. Had it not been for you, he's be dead years ago."

"She is darling Johnny," they said over and over that afternoon. That afternoon I got a glimpse into his world. Everything had to be planned "just right". When we took pictures with a childhood friend, Sean said, "Do NOT post that on the internet. He told me it would be posted in a few days. He warned me that this might be leaked. I was going to visit him alone in November. Mom was still on the fence,

"So, how is your mom?" He asked me in a sort of dated, tacky living room.
"Health wise, great. Mentally I know she is drained. Her job. My dad."
"Your dad."
"He's an alcoholic who can't care for himself. She has to give him bus fare to get to work. He used ti be a rope performer at Arby's. Now he dices onions for hot dogs and he can't do that, but his friend keeps him employed. I don't think my mom is happy at all."
"That's a shame. I thought she would marry a blonde Lutheran."
"Dad is a blonde Lutheran."

I could have said, "She keeps a huge dildo in her bedside drawer and I bet a donut she thinks of you." He just really, really wanted to see her. The old ladies loved Bobby and I had a feeling he would be a Johnny Jr.. Sam was gracious. That would be more than my dad, who would be like, " come on, you have said enough. Let's go. Let's go." He was always like that. Mom seeing someone at the store, she had a minute, but then she had to go. She hated taking him places. She always talked about the gun in her rib. I didn't know when she was HONEST and told dad who my dad was, he kicked her in the crotch and said, "You're fuckin' lucky I stayed." However, when my mom lost weight and was pretty, she got fired for having sex at work. He should have been madder about that. Mom was very sexual and I think her needs would have been met by Johnny.

That night we went to dinner and stayed at a family member's home, but security whisked him away. That was my dad Johnny's life. I was glad I got some time with him and it seemed he really adored my mom and would have kept her and I so wanted that to have been, but then Jackie wouldn't have come into my life and Jackie was one of my best friends.