Suribachi's vagabond (english vers)

Chapter 6 part 1 : Alone

It was raining. The storm was pouring torrents of water over the figure sitting at the edge of the Yokohama port dock. She was soaked to the bone, but Toru didn't care in the slightest. She kept her gaze fixed on the violent waves crashing against the edge of the dock, the splashes only making her wetter. Yet, these raindrops, whose fall showed no sign of slowing, brought her a certain comfort... Their constant descent at least spared her the chills caused by the wind... She stayed there, seeing no point in leaving. Despite the cold, despite the thunder rumbling, despite the violence of the waves, this was the place where she had once felt a hint of unconsciousness in Mishima's company... She wasn't quite sure how or why, but the cat had led her here moments earlier before disappearing. Strangely enough, it knew exactly what she needed at that moment.

Since she had followed it here, Toru hadn't had the strength to go anywhere else. She simply had to be here, that was all. She had watched the waves grow more and more violent under the gray and cloudy sky, her gaze vacant.

It was only after long minutes that her body allowed itself a sigh, taking a breath after the extended moment of reflection and silence. At the same time, she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't turn around, easily recognizing the person to whom those steps could belong.

He stood there, behind her, without a word, simply watching her.

The silence between them wasn't heavy... She likely didn't have the energy to speak, and he understood, watching her with a faint smile, though his gaze carried what seemed to be a semblance of empathy.

"How did you find me? I thought I covered my tracks..." 

She suddenly asked, breaking the long silence that had almost naturally settled.

Dazai let out a soft breath through his nose, his smile never leaving his face.

"I was alerted since it happened near the mafia's territory. And... I followed the cat."

"You never lose your way, huh? Even in a situation like this..."

"..."

Toru took a while to respond to his comment... She had heard this kind of remark countless times. Did he really think of her the way everyone else did? A person without emotions or feelings, cold, who only formed bonds with others out of self-interest... Who, no matter the situation, kept a clear head and could think without being affected...

"Yeah... you could say that..." 

She replied simply.

Dazai noticed the restraint in her response... She was suffering. Not only because of what had happened but also because she felt alone, with no one to even notice the state she was in.

"Are you planning to stay here long? You'll catch a cold..." 

He asked, moving his umbrella slightly to cover her. The gesture immediately caused a shiver to run down her spine. Now that the rain was no longer falling on her, her soaked body was left prey to the freezing wind.

She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing them slightly to warm up.

"I'm better here than anywhere else."

Dazai let out a sigh, his expression blasé as he raised an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't say you're exactly well off here either..."

"And what does it matter to you anyway?!"

It was the first time she had raised her voice when addressing him... However, he couldn't miss that her voice was trembling slightly.

A long silence followed her response... Toru was crushed by the stupidity of what had just come out of her mouth... She, who suffered from not having anyone who could understand what she was truly feeling but unable to express it, had had the audacity to make a comment to him that others had once made to her, fully knowing how much those words could hurt...