Shades of Redemption

7

Dating Gavin felt like living in two different worlds at once. On the one hand, I was chasing my own dreams, pushing through my final year of university, sketching whenever I could, working towards the day I'd finally make a name for myself as a painter. On the other hand, Gavin's world was a whirlwind—late-night gigs, endless band rehearsals, and a constant rush of excitement. I used to love that about him, how alive he made everything feel. But sitting in that diner with his bandmates after one of their shows, something felt different.

We were crammed into a booth, the guys scarfing down burgers and fries like they hadn't eaten in days. The place was loud, with the clatter of dishes and the low hum of conversation filling the air. I swirled my straw around my soda, the ice clinking against the glass, trying to focus on their conversation. But my mind was still stuck on something Ben, their drummer, had just said.

"So, Los Angeles is happening, huh?" Ben's voice cut through the noise, his mouth half-full of fries. He grinned, wiping his hands on a napkin. "Can you imagine? We could be the next big thing—record labels, sold-out shows, everything."

Los Angeles? I hadn't heard anything about that.

"Yeah," Gavin chimed in, leaning back in the booth with that cocky grin he always wore after a show. "It's going to be huge. We'll finally get our break."

I blinked, feeling a pang of confusion. When had this been decided? Gavin hadn't mentioned anything to me about going to Los Angeles. I looked at him, waiting for him to explain, but he just kept grinning, like this was all old news.

The guys were already making plans, talking about how amazing it would be. They sounded so sure of themselves, so convinced that this was the next step. Meanwhile, I felt like I was hearing about a part of Gavin's life that I wasn't even in anymore.

Gavin must have noticed the look on my face because he turned to me, his smile softening. "Of course, Sophie's coming with us, right, babe?"

I forced a smile, nodding, but inside, my heart was heavy. I hadn't planned on traveling anywhere. I was still in my senior year, with graduation just a few months away. My classes were intense, and I had projects and exams that couldn't just be brushed aside. Moving to Los Angeles, even for a short time, wasn't part of my plan. But to Gavin, it seemed like I was already included in his.

"Imagine it," Gavin continued, his excitement contagious. "We'll be in L.A., making music, playing shows, meeting people. It's going to be incredible! We'll have everything we've ever wanted."

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I tried to picture it. Living in Los Angeles, surrounded by the buzz of the music scene, supporting Gavin as his band took off. But the image didn't sit right with me. It felt blurry, like I was out of place in that world. All I'd ever wanted was to become a well-known painter, to have my art speak for itself. Traveling with Gavin wasn't part of the plan—not mine, at least.

I smiled at him, but it felt forced. I didn't want to ruin his excitement, especially in front of his friends. I could feel their eyes on me, waiting for me to say something. To agree with him. To tell him I'd drop everything and follow him across the country.

"So, when are we guys heading out?" one of the band members Luke asked, leaning forward.

"We're planning to leave the first week of September," Gavin said, his eyes lighting up. "That's when everything kicks off."

"September?" I repeated, my heart sinking. "That's my exam week."

Gavin shrugged, his carefree attitude unchanged. "You can take them when we get back. It's just a few exams."

I stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. Just a few exams? These weren't just any exams—they were my finals. The culmination of everything I'd been working toward for the past four years. I couldn't just skip them and make them up later like it was no big deal. But to Gavin he was already making decisions for the both of us, like my future didn't matter as much as his.

His bandmates were watching us, still smiling, like this was all perfectly normal. I could feel the pressure to go along with it, to be the supportive girlfriend who put her dreams on hold for him. But I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling creeping up my spine. Was this how it was always going to be? Would I always be expected to drop everything for Gavin's career, while mine took a backseat?

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see a message from Emma. 

Hey, where were you today? You missed our last class. 

I hadn't told her I skipped class to be with Gavin. It was just one class, I told myself. Just one sacrifice. But now, sitting here, I wondered how many more I'd have to make.

I didn't reply to Emma. I couldn't. I slipped the phone back into my pocket and forced another smile as Gavin went on and on about Los Angeles, about how amazing it was going to be. The guys were all nodding along, throwing in their own ideas about what they'd do once they made it big. Gavin's excitement was palpable, and I knew he had dreams just as big as mine. But the difference was, his dreams were becoming reality. Mine felt like they were slipping away, bit by bit, with every decision I made to support him instead of myself.

As the dinner dragged on, I found myself sinking deeper into my own thoughts. What did this mean for us? If Gavin went to Los Angeles, how would I keep up with school? And if I didn't go, where would that leave us?

By the time we finished eating, I felt drained. Gavin and his bandmates were still buzzing with excitement, talking about flights and packing and all the things they needed to do to get ready. Meanwhile, I was already dreading the conversation I knew I needed to have with Gavin.

When we left the diner, Gavin wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. "Don't worry, babe," he said, kissing the top of my head. "Once we're in L.A., everything will be perfect. You'll see."

I smiled up at him, but inside, I wasn't so sure.

As we walked to the car, his phone buzzed, and he pulled it out, grinning at the text. "It's William," he said, showing me the screen. "He says we've got a meeting with a producer tomorrow."

I nodded, trying to be happy for him. But all I could think about was how this trip to Los Angeles was going to change everything—whether I was ready for it or not.And the worst part was, I didn't know if Gavin even noticed.