Shades of Redemption

39

It had been 36 hours since the accident, and I still felt like I hadn't breathed properly. Eleanor had left to handle some things, leaving me alone with Gavin. The room was quiet except for the rhythmic beeping of the machines, and I just sat there, watching him. His face was bruised and pale, wrapped in bandages, yet he still looked like the Gavin I once knew, the Gavin I had loved so deeply.

A nurse entered the room, snapping me out of my daze. She touched my shoulder gently and spoke softly, "Miss, we're going to transfer Mr. Parker to a regular room now."

I nodded, standing up slowly as they prepared to move him. My phone buzzed in my pocket, breaking through my thoughts. I pulled it out and saw Elijah's name flashing on the screen. I hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Hello?" I said, trying to steady my voice, though I knew the exhaustion was evident.

"Sophie? Where are you? I went by your apartment, but you weren't there. I've been knocking for a while. I was worried," Elijah's voice was filled with concern.

I bit my lip, unsure how to explain where I was or why I hadn't told him sooner. 

"I'm... I had to be somewhere important. I'll be back soon," I replied, hoping he wouldn't push further.

There was a pause, then he sighed. "Okay. I just wanted to check on you. Are you alright?"

I wanted to say yes, to lie and make everything sound normal. But nothing about this felt normal. 

"I'm okay," I said quickly, glancing at the nurse as she gestured for me to follow Gavin's bed down the hall. "I'll call you later, alright?"

Before Elijah could respond, I ended the call, shoving my phone back into my pocket. The pit in my stomach grew as we arrived at Gavin's new room. 

One of the nurses turned to me with a small smile. "Mr. Parker is awake. We'll need to call the doctor."

Awake. The word echoed in my mind, and my heart started racing. I wasn't ready for this. I didn't know what to expect. Slowly, I followed the nurse into the room, my breath catching in my throat as my eyes landed on Gavin. His eyes were open, and when they met mine, I froze.He was looking at me like no time had passed, with warmth, familiarity... and love. I didn't know how to react.

"Angel..." His voice was hoarse, but the nickname hit me like a punch to the gut.

Tears stung my eyes before I could stop them, one sliding down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away as another nurse called for the doctor. I backed out of the room, letting them do their job, but I didn't go far. My hand rested against the cool wall outside the door, my mind spinning.

Gavin had called me Angel. Angel, the name he used to call me when things were good, when we were happy, when I was his world and he was mine. How could he still be using that name?After what felt like forever, the nurse gestured for me to come back inside. I wiped my face quickly, trying to hold myself together as I reentered the room. Gavin was still watching me, and his eyes softened when I came closer.

"What's wrong, baby?" His voice was rough, but the endearment sounded so natural.

I glanced at the doctor, confused and panicked. Why was he talking to me like this? As if nothing had ever happened? As if we hadn't broken each other's hearts?

Gavin reached out and took my hand, his fingers curling around mine in a way that felt too familiar. I stiffened but didn't pull away. Part of me wanted to hold onto him like this again, just for a moment, even though I knew it wasn't right.

The doctor cleared his throat after checking Gavin's vitals. "Miss Turner, could I speak with you outside for a moment?"

I nodded, feeling Gavin squeeze my hand gently. "Go ahead, love. I'll be here," he said, his smile soft.

Love. My chest tightened as I forced myself to nod, walking out with the doctor. Once we were in the hallway, I leaned against the wall, feeling like the weight of everything was crushing me.

 "What's happening?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

The doctor looked at me with a mix of sympathy and seriousness. "Mr. Parker has suffered a traumatic brain injury. He's experiencing retrograde amnesia."

My stomach dropped. "Amnesia?"

He nodded. "Yes, and in his current state, he seems to have lost memories surrounding negative or stressful events. Right now, he's only remembering the positive aspects of his life, especially the moments tied to strong emotions."

My head started spinning. "So... he doesn't remember?"

"From what I can tell, no. He doesn't seem to recall anything related to the more painful moments in his life or in your relationship. His mind is protecting him, at least for now," the doctor explained, his voice calm but firm.

 "It's unclear when or if he'll regain those memories, but it's important not to force him to remember. Let his brain heal naturally." He continued.

I felt like the ground had shifted beneath me. Gavin didn't remember the heartbreak, the cheating, the fights. To him, we were still...in love. He still saw me as his Angel. My mind couldn't wrap itself around the cruel irony of it all. How could I pretend everything was okay when it wasn't? How could I face him like this?

The doctor placed a hand on my shoulder. "I understand this is difficult. But for now, it's best to keep things calm. Be familiar. Don't push him too hard."

I nodded, even though every part of me wanted to scream. "Thank you, doctor."

As he walked away, I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. My hands were shaking. How was I supposed to do this? Pretend like everything was fine when it was far from it?With one last deep breath, I pushed open the door and stepped back into the room. Gavin's face lit up when he saw me, his smile so genuine, so warm, that it almost broke me all over again.

"There you are, Angel," he said softly, his voice like a balm over the ache in my heart. "I've missed you."

I forced a smile, even though it felt like I was falling apart. 

"I'm here, Gavin," I whispered, walking over to his bedside. He still had my hand in his, holding onto me as if I was his anchor.

And for now, I would be. For now, I would pretend. I would be his Angel again, even if just for a little while longer.