Shades of Redemption

8

The sun was setting outside my apartment, casting an orange glow across the room. The sound of Gavin strumming his guitar filled the air, the notes soft and soothing. I stood in front of my easel, my brush gliding over the canvas as I tried to focus on the painting in front of me. But even as I added more color, my mind was elsewhere, clouded by everything that had been going on lately. I could feel the tension in the room, even in the quiet moments we shared. There was a weight to it that neither of us had spoken about yet.

I was lost in thought when my phone rang, pulling me from my trance. I wiped my hands on my apron and glanced at the screen. It was my mom. I hesitated for a second before answering."Hey, Mom," I said, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Soph, how are you? How's school going?" Her voice was warm and familiar, instantly making me feel both comforted and guilty at the same time. I hadn't talked to her much lately, not with everything that had been happening with Gavin and the band.

"I'm good," I replied, glancing over at Gavin. He had stopped playing the moment my phone rang, watching me carefully. "Just working on a new painting, you know. And school's been busy with exams coming up."

"Don't overwork yourself, sweetie," my mom said, concern lacing her words. "You need to rest, especially with those exams coming up. They're important for your future."

The word "future" hung in the air, heavy between me and Gavin. I could feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to say something—anything—about Los Angeles. But I couldn't bring myself to mention it, not yet. I looked back at the half-finished painting, feeling like my future was slipping away from me.

"I know, Mom. I'll call you back later, okay?" I said, not wanting to get into a long conversation about school and everything else on my mind.

"Alright, just take care of yourself. Love you."

"Love you too, Mom," I replied softly, hanging up the phone. I set it down on the table, my heart feeling heavier than before.

When I turned back to Gavin, I could see the frustration in his eyes. He set his guitar aside, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Why didn't you tell her?" he asked, his voice low but tense.

"Tell her what?" I asked, though I already knew what he meant.

"About Los Angeles," he said, his eyes searching mine. "About us going there. About everything we've been planning."

I felt my stomach drop. I hadn't told my mom because, deep down, I wasn't sure if those plans were even mine. I set my paintbrush down, trying to steady myself.

"I didn't tell her because... I haven't figured everything out yet," I admitted, my voice shaky. "I don't know how to explain that I might miss my exams for a trip I never really agreed to."

Gavin's face hardened. "What do you mean you didn't agree to it? We've been talking about this for weeks, Sophie. The band is finally getting a shot, and I thought you were with me on this."

He stood up, the frustration radiating off him. "So what? You don't want to come with me? Is that it?"

"It's not that simple!" I shot back, my voice rising. "I've worked so hard for this degree, Gavin. My whole future depends on these exams, and you're asking me to just forget about it all!"

Gavin ran a hand through his hair, pacing across the room. "I'm not asking you to forget anything. I'm asking you to be there for me. For us."

"But what about me?" I said, my voice breaking. "What about my future? It's like everything is always about your dream, your career. I've been supporting you through everything, but you haven't even stopped to think about what I need."

He stopped pacing and looked at me, his expression hardening. "I thought we were in this together."

"We were," I whispered, my throat tightening. "But somewhere along the way, it stopped being about us and started being about you. You make all these plans, but you never ask if they work for me. You assume I'll just follow you wherever you go."

"Because I thought you wanted to be with me," he snapped, his voice cutting through the air like a knife.

"I do!" I shouted, tears stinging my eyes. "But I can't just throw away everything I've worked for. I can't sacrifice my future for yours. That's not fair, Gavin."

He stared at me, his jaw clenched. "So what is this?"

I swallowed hard, the tears finally spilling over. "I'm just asking you to consider me in this. To think about what I need too."

He shook his head, his expression cold. "I can't believe you're doing this right now."

"Doing what?" I asked, my voice trembling. "Asking you to see things from my side? To realize that I can't just drop everything for you?"

Gavin turned away from me, running a hand through his hair again. "I'm doing this for us, Sophie. I thought you'd understand that."

"I do understand," I said, my voice cracking. "But you're not the only one with dreams. And I can't keep putting mine on hold for yours."

He stood there for a moment, not saying anything. The silence between us was deafening, and I could feel my heart breaking with every second that passed.

Finally, he grabbed his guitar and slung it over his shoulder. "Maybe you're right," he said quietly. "Maybe we're not on the same page anymore."

I watched as he headed for the door, my chest tightening with every step he took. "Gavin, wait," I called out, my voice weak.

But he didn't stop. He opened the door and walked out, leaving me standing there, alone in the silence.

As the door clicked shut behind him, I sank to the floor, the tears coming in full force. I buried my face in my hands, my body shaking with sobs. It felt like my entire world had just crumbled around me.

For the first time, I realized that love wasn't always enough. No matter how much I loved Gavin, no matter how much I wanted us to work, we were heading in different directions. And I wasn't sure if we could ever find our way back to each other.