[Open: Closeup of a head being shaved. Cut to steadycam shot through hallways of McKinley High School, with all students staring strangely and making faces at the camera. One kid touches his head as the camera passes. Camera continues into the choir room where the Glee kids also stare before the camera swings around to reveal a mohawk-less Puck.]
"Oh God." People that hadn't been there when it happened all said, completely shocked.
Brittany, to Santana, as Puck passes in front of them: Who is that guy?
[Camera focuses on Santana's WTF expression for a moment as scene transitions to Puck explaining his new 'do to Santana in a now empty choir room.]
Puck: My mom found a mole on my head when she was washing my hair on Friday.
Santana: Your mom still washes your hair?
Puck: She started crying about sunblock and how she's always telling me to wear a hat when I'm cleaning pools. So she made me go see Dr. Friedlander, the dermatologist. He said he had to shave my head to get a closer look at it.
[Flashback to Puck getting his head shaved and doctor examining Puck's head during voiceover.]
Puck: It was nothing! They maimed me over a freaking freckle. I feel like that guy that lost all his hair, then lost all his strength.
Santana: Samson?
Puck: Agassi. This morning, people actually had the balls to look me in the eye. I mean, it's just a mohawk, right? I'm still Puckasaurus.
"Eh..." A few people said, do 'so so' hand movements.
Santana: Actually, I don't know if it's the missing mohawk or the whining, but I am totally not turned on by you right now.
[Santana stands up and walks away.]
[Cut to Puck in parking lot, school bus in background. A group of nerds approach Puck from behind, one clicking his pen open like a switchblade.]
Puck: You got a problem?
[Camera swings around, revealing Jacob Ben Israel and three more nerds approaching Puck from the front.]
Jacob: Clearly you're not a follower of my @LarryHair account on Twitter. We've been tweeting all day about your new look. You're like a toddler with a loose lid on his sippy cup: no more juice. Get ready for payback, Puckerman. [clucks tongue]
Puck: Alright.
[Three of the nerds pick up Puck and throw him into the dumpster.]
"Oh dear God." People said, frowning.
Puck voiceover while lying in dumpster: I'm human garbage. I should just lie here until the truck comes and let it crush me to death. What's the point of living when I suck so bad? [Puck hears clapping and singing] Wait a second. [Puck peeks over the top of the dumpster. Camera cuts to Mercedes doing vocal runs with Brittany and a few other Cheerios clapping along.] That black chick from Glee Club used to suck, and now she's all kinds of popular. (Mercedes singing: A Cheerio) If she can straighten herself out, I certainly can. But how? I'm not becoming a Cheerio. Wait. I don't need to be a cheerleader. I just need to date one. [Puck smiles] Get ready, black girl from Glee Club whose name I can't remember right now. The Puckster is about to make you his. [Puck jumps out of the dumpster.]
[Title screen]
Mercedes frowned, she couldn't believe she ever agreed to go out with him.
[Cut to the choir room. Rachel is placing bottles of nutritional supplements on the piano.]
YOU ARE READING
Someone New
Fanfiction"Is it too good to be true? The way I feel with you Maybe it's just in my head Yeah I've been here before On love I closed the door Tryna save the heart that's left Oh no I think I may be falling again Don't know how this story is gonna end Oh i'm t...
