Duets

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[INT. CHOIR ROOM: WILL is addressing the glee club.]

WILL: All right, let's, uh, let's gather around. Sorry I'm late, guys. I was with Principal Figgins. Bad news, guys. Puckerman's in juvie.

"No surprise there." A few people said, laughing in amusement. 

TINA: It really was just a matter of time.

QUINN: (Scoffing, baffled) What did he do?

WILL:  He drove his mom's Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM.

[STASIA, BRITTANY and SANTANA laugh]

RACHEL: And when is he getting out?

WILL: Unknown.

BRITTANY: He might be the dumbest person on this planet, and that's coming from me.

WILL: Guys! Let's have some sympathy. 

STASIA: For that dumbass? (She laughs) 

"Hey!" Puck frowned, but Stasia only shrugged, meaning what she said. 

FINN: For a guy who put his needs before the team's? We need his voice and his bad-boy stage presence.

WILL: We can't look at this as, as a crisis. It's an opportunity.

QUINN: For what? Further embarrassment and humiliation?

WILL: For welcoming our new member... Sam Evans!

[SAM enters and FINN smiles]

WILL: There he is. 

SAM: How's it going? Hey, everybody. I'm Sam. ... Sam, I am. ... And I don't like green eggs and ham. 

A few people snickered in amusement. 

SANTANA: Oh, wow. He has no game.

FINN: Okay! This is gonna be great. You're not going to regret joining, Sam.

SAM: Oh, good.

FINN: Sam, you sit right here.

WILL: All right! Question for the group. What's a duet?

BRITTANY: A blanket. 

A few people burst out laughing in amusement. 

WILL: A duet is when two voices join to become one. Great duets are like a great marriage. The singers complement each other, push each other to be better. Now, some people may think...

KURT [quietly, to MERCEDES]: Pssst! He's on team gay. No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993. 

"okay, not gay." Kurt said, correcting his past self as everyone snickered in amusement. 

MERCEDES [quietly, to KURT]: You're crazy, circa 2010.

WILL: And that is what duets are all about. So, this week I want you to pair up and sing a duet. And, since you guys all seemed to love our little "Defying Gravity" diva-off, I'm making this a competition.

MIKE: What's the winner get?

WILL: Dinner for two, on me... at Breadstix.

[collective gasp] 

TINA: Breadstix, yes! 

[everyone chatters excitedly]

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