Theatricality

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[Tina is dressed in a totally goth look and Figgins looks at her with rage in his eyes.] 

Tina : Am I in trouble?

Will : Come on. You've got more self-esteem than that. I think this might have something to do with your perfect attendance last semester.

Figgins : No. Miss Cohen-Chang is in trouble. It has come to my attention that the look you sport is what is known as goth. American teens are coming down with a serious case of Twilight fever, transformed from normal children into vampires obsessed with the occult. And only yesterday, this dark specter reared its head at McKinley High.

[Flash Back - At the Lockers, Lauren and a clique of « Team Edward and Jacob » stand in front of the lockers with Team Edward and Team Jacob T-shirts, Jacob walks by and Lauren looks at her friends.] 

Lauren : This is totally going to get Robert Pattinson's attention.

[The girls start hissing as they attack Jacob] 

"Oh God." Everyone grimaced as they watched. 

Jacob : Oh, hey. (Girls roaring and screaming jump on him) Oh, dear God!

[End of Flash Back]

Will : I don't mean to state the obvious, but you do know that vampires aren't real, right? They don't exist. 

"We do too. We just don't sparkle." Damon scoffed with a roll of his eyes. 

Figgins : William, denial will not make this problem go away!

Tina : My parents won't even let me watch Twilight. My mom says she thinks Kristin Stewart seems like a bitch. 

"She is." Jesse and Stasia both said before giving each other amused smiles. 

Figgins : This is a serious problem! Miss Cohen-Chang, you've got to find yourself another style of dress!

Will : Hold on a second. Tina is shy and one way she's found to express herself is through her clothes. High school is an incredibly important time when kids get to explore who they are. When I was in high school, I had a whole year where I dressed exactly like Kurt Cobain. I mean, come on. There has to be someone who you used to dress like. 

Figgins : Yes. For several years in my early 20s, I dressed up as Elvis. But he was a Christian, Will! And he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat! 

"We do not-!" Damon started in, only to be shushed this time

Will (whispering to Tina) : I think he thinks vampires are real.

Tina : I think you're right.

Figgins : Studies have shown that a strict dress code fosters a safe and stable learning environment with fewer instances of gun violence and vampirism. So, if I see you dressed in lacy demon clothes again, Tina Cohen-Chang, (pounds desk) You will be suspended! 

"But I wasn't!" Tina said with a smile as everyone gave her an amused look. 

[In Kurt's room Finn's mom, Carole, is leading him down the stairs with Finn's eyes closed.] 

Carole : Step. Couple more.

Finn : Is there a car down here from me ?

Carole : Honey, we're indoors.

Finn : Oh. Okay.

Carole : And open your eyes.

[Burt and Kurt stand with glasses and smiles, as a banner hangs in the back that says 'welcome home'. Kurt holds out a glass to Carole.] 

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