Key to a Caged Heart

Something Inside

Song: Something Inside - Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Levi made lasagna for dinner, all oozing cheese, delectable meat sauce, and finely layered pasta with a sprinkling of parmesan cheese on top. It smelled heavenly and probably tasted divine. Eren wouldn't know. Eren cut his dinner into progressively smaller segments and pushed it around his plate but Levi wasn't fooled.

"Eat up, brat. We are leaving soon and there isn't any food at the club if you get hungry later."

Eren shrugged his shoulders and kept staring at his filled plate, continuing to mash it until he realized there was no point and set his fork down. "I know. I guess I'm not hungry."

He hadn't looked Levi directly in the eye since he woke up from his nap and it was slowly driving Levi insane.

Based on Eren's reaction when Levi said he could go back home, Levi figured that Eren didn't truly want to leave. Yet he was now avoiding Levi as if preparing to part ways. Trying to understand Eren was like being trapped in a maze and when Levi thought he had finally found an exit, it happened to be another dead end. Eren ran away, but easily returned home with Levi. Eren was upset when Levi agreed to let him go but now that Levi said Eren could stay if he wanted, Eren acted like he couldn't bear to live with Levi any longer. Eren was mercurial, no doubt about it, but that wouldn't explain his flip-flopping behavior. Eren wasn't an attention seeker, so there was some puzzle piece to Eren's personality that Levi was missing that could explain everything, and he intended to find it.

By the time they arrived at work, Eren's headache was gone. At least, the alcohol induced one. His mind was still hurting from his conflicted feelings. Earlier, he thought of asking Levi why he came to pick him up at the party at four in the morning, but he was afraid Levi would say it was his responsibility as Eren's guardian. Eren wasn't sure why, but he knew he didn't want that to be Levi's only reason.

He ran back and forth, fetching disks with noticeably less vigor than usual. Out of the corner of their worried eye, Hanji kept watch over him.

When Special Operations Squad began to perform, he finally got a chance to sit down with Hanji and rest. His mind had been so focused on getting the discs that Hanji requested and blocking all other thoughts out that he didn't even realize he was starving until his stomach growled "Feed me."

Hanji smiled and reached into the mini-fridge beneath their desk.

"Here. Levi gave me this for you earlier, in case you got hungry," Hanji stated as they handed him a Tupperware filled with lasagna and a fork.

Eren stared down at it for a long time, causing Hanji to nudge his shoulder in concern.

"Eren, are you okay?"

Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes but he still managed to see the man singing on stage. After everything Eren put him through, Levi was still taking care of him.

For a brief moment Eren considered running from his feelings again but dropped the idea just as quickly, knowing he could not do it a second time. After the anguish he experienced when he left yesterday, Eren discovered that being the person to leave was just as hard as being the person left behind.

Eren wondered if it hurt Levi when he left without saying goodbye. The thought pained him for he knew that feeling all too well. He wiped his sleeve across his eyes to rid them of the moisture.

Eren was certain that he was royally fucked either way. It would hurt him to separate himself from Levi, as he found out last night. He would also hurt if he was left behind, although that was a familiar pain. Levi had given him the weekend to decide what he wanted to do going forward, and Eren was almost certain of what he wanted. Although he kinda sort of knew, he was going to take all the time he was given to think his choices through carefully before committing to one path.