Key to a Caged Heart

Stay

A/N: The song is Stay by Hurts. I highly recommend listening to it (although I recommend listening to all the chapter songs, really). Feel free to comment with song recommendations of your own too.

Also, we're finally getting somewhere with these two! It only took 18 chapters.

"What the fuck, Levi. You spent all this time assuring me that my mom's death wasn't my fault but then you admit to feeling guilty for your friend's death? What sort of hypocritical shit is that! You fucking liar!"

Eren grabbed a pillow off the couch and hit Levi with it, a hard swing with each word he repeated. "You. Fucking. Liar!"

"E-Eren?" Levi held up his arms to block the hits but he wasn't doing a good job. He was too distracted by Eren. Angry tears threatened to fall from the boy's eyes as he swung the pillow harshly against Levi's side.

Eren held the pillow tightly in front of him, ready to strike again, a look of determination on his face as he spoke. "Tell me the truth. Do you still think Farlan's death was your fault?"

Levi knew the answer, but he was too surprised by Eren's reaction to answer immediately. This beautiful boy who has felt loss, then loss again, then loneliness to avoid another loss, was angry at Levi for blaming himself. There were tears in this boy's eyes, empathized sadness for what Levi experienced years ago, wishing Levi had never experienced that pain at all, the pain he knew so well. There were lines in the boy's forehead, formed by the angry furrowing of his eyebrows as everything Levi assured him of over the past months crumbled before him, the assurance that he didn't kill his mother threatened by Levi's own self-guilt. Nowhere in Eren's expression did Levi see blame, like he had seen in the eyes of Izzy years ago, or fear at his admission of what he did to Nile. There was only anger, sadness, and understanding.

"No, Eren. I blamed myself for a long time, but I realized over time it wasn't my fault. Meeting you made me more certain. Terrible things happen and maybe doing something differently could have prevented them, but we aren't psychic. We can't predict the future. All we can do is live our lives, learn from mistakes, and love the people we care about while we have them."

"Damn straight," Eren said, grumpily swinging the pillow at Levi's chest once more before dropping it and sitting side by side with Levi, letting his head drop onto the older male's shoulder.

"I can't believe you thought I'd hate you for something like that," Eren muttered.

"You should. I let my emotions get the best of me and almost killed Nile, and tonight I hurt you." Levi couldn't fathom how hours ago he pushed Eren up against a wall and now that kid was resting at his side, eyes closed, unafraid.

Levi carded his fingers through Eren's soft hair. Eren felt drained but content, glad that Levi wasn't mad at him anymore. First thing tomorrow he would give his remaining weed to Reiner and Bert; it wasn't worth hurting Levi over.

"It was neither of our faults." He repeated himself once more, ensuring that it stuck in Eren's mind. Eren was right, of course. It was hypocritical of Levi to tell Eren he wasn't responsible for his mother's death when for years Levi blamed himself for something similar. It was time they both stopped hating themselves for something they couldn't foresee and can't change.

Looking at Eren's peaceful face, Levi smiled softly before going stiff. Those nights of having Eren asleep in his bed made this moment seem natural. Their relationship was weird, caught somewhere between roommates, parent/child, and something else he didn't want to touch on, but from the start Levi had been someone Eren could seek comfort from.

As much as he wanted to remain that person for Eren, he couldn't. Eren fluttered his green eyes open, curious why Levi suddenly went rigid beneath him.