Key to a Caged Heart

We Can Try

Eren flopped onto his bed, not caring as his wet hair soaked his pillow. Today was another long day of classes followed by grueling practice.

Grabbing his phone off the nightstand, Eren opened his thread of texts to Levi. He contemplated texting 'what's up' since he hasn't texted Levi in a while, but after thinking it over, Eren decided not to send anything. He is too tired for small talk, and that's all he and Levi ever make when they message these days.

It's hard to share stories through texts, and with their contrasting schedules, planning a time to Skype has proven to be impossible.

Secretly (guiltily), Eren felt glad that they don't have time to talk. Levi would instantly know something is up if he saw Eren's face or heard his voice. Eren swore he'd be better - the new and improved Eren Jaeger - but he didn't feel new and improved. He just felt exhausted and stressed.

Eren always turned to Levi when he needed guidance or comfort, but Levi couldn't hold his hand through four years of college. Eren knew he needed a support network in Stohess.

He was fortunate that three of his good friends were on campus with him. Unfortunately, he didn't get to see them often. Not even Jean, his roommate and teammate, was around a lot.

Eren wracked his brain for the last time he hung out with Armin. Well, he did join Armin and his friends last week for a lecture on some science thing that went over Eren's head. Afterwards, they all ate together and talked about the points the lecturer made. Eren couldn't contribute to the conversation once, and no one noticed.

It was horrible. Eren thought if he spent time with Armin's friends, he might become friends with them too, and then he'd see Armin more.

The plan was a flop. Armin's friends are nice, but Eren doesn't click with them. That night, Eren realized that if he hadn't known Armin since they were kids, they wouldn't click either.

Eren has to remind himself that he and Armin do click, though. Hanging out just the two of them is comfortable and easy, like hanging out with a sibling. Eren wished they could hang out just the two of them more often, but around classes, basketball, and Armin's clubs, their schedules rarely match up.

Eren seemed to be the only one bothered by it.

Jean is hardly around, either in the library studying to ensure he has the grades to get into the astrophysics program, or going on dates with Marco on the weekends.

Marco is either with Jean or hanging out with the girls from his indie-novel club.

Craving social interaction, Eren invited some of his basketball teammates to hang out. They played some video games in Dean's dorm which made Eren feel less pathetically alone as Jean and Marco were on their date and Armin was hanging out with his super smart friends, but it did nothing to relieve the suffocating isolation he felt. Eren wasn't close enough with any of his teammates to talk with them about real shit, and besides, they aren't the type of guys who like talking about real shit anyway.

Just as he's about to turn off the light and go to bed, his phone buzzed. A flicker of hope kindled in his chest. Maybe Levi isn't asleep yet and wants to talk, or maybe Armin has realized it's been a while since they've seen each other and wants to hang out.

It's neither.

Sam: hey jaeger, want to proofread each others papers?

Eren stared at the words, trying to make sense of them. Then a feeling of dread set in.

Eren: what paper?

Eren waited for one tense minute before Sam replied.

Sam: the paper about a social problem and how wed fix it. shit man did u not rite it? its due 2morow