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AFTER finishing our meal, the pussy cat heroes showed us where we will be staying. the boys on one side of the camp and the girls on the other. after a long day, we all agreed that we need to relax in preparation for the rest of camp.
we begin to unpack our stuff and head to the bathhouse, talking about what we think aizawa sensei will make us do for the rest of the week.
the laughs of the girls reverberate against the wooden walls and i savor the sound, hoping to soak in how grateful i am for these girls.
we make our way into the bathhouse and everyone begins to undress, making their way to the warm water awaiting us. i hesitate for a moment before the robe drops to the floor.
my scars.
they're going to see them all.
i tie the robe back around my waist as i sit on the bench that overlooks the hot bath water the girls are swimming around in. i feel the weary smile begin to creep onto my lips as i imagine the looks in their eyes when they see me.
truly me.
"hey koko what are you doing all the way up there?" ashido calls out to me with a beaming smile on her face. "come in and join us!"
"i don't know ashido, i'm not feeling too well," the lie stumbles out of my lips as guilt begins to lace through my features. the girls all look at me as i wave them off with a smile.
i watch as momo rises from the pool and makes her way towards me with a gentle smile. she crouches down to eye level and looks deep into my eyes, as if she knew my secret.
"we don't want to push you miyamoto, but if you aren't feeling the best the spring may make you feel better." she places a hand on my shoulder as her dark hair falls around her face. "no one will judge you miya i promise."
my heart warms at her words as if she knew all along why i wasn't getting into the water with the others. she stands with me as i untie my robe, placing it on the bench i was sitting on moments ago.
my eyes drop to my feet, not wanting to see their reactions to what they see. the burns etched so deep into my skin that healing them was never enough for them to leave me unmarked.
memories of looking at myself in the mirror with shame flooding through me as i gaze over the burns that weave around my arms in splotches, a darker shade of my skin. it looks as if flames licked themselves across my chest and down the sides of my torso, then down my legs in different patterns that i used to trace when i got used to them.
i fiddle with my fingers as the girls grow quiet and i grow more and more anxious the more silent they become.
"you are beautiful miya," momo's soft voice causes me to look up at her, small tears forming in her lids as my own begin to fall. we walk together to the pool as everyone around me starts to sniffle and wipe tears of their own from their eyes.
