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EVERYTHING has become a blur in the aftermath of the league. the moments of before and after fading away, only leaving the scars and nightmares in its wake.
no matter what recovery girl or any of the doctors at the hospital could do, they could never heal away the scars he left behind. leaving permanent damage on my skin and my mind.
sleep is really no longer an option for me. if i ever fall victim to exhaustion, he is always there to haunt my dreams turning them into horrific nightmares. reliving the pain he put me through every time i close my eyes.
ever since i've been released from the hospital, futoshi hasn't left my side since i'm still recovering and haven't been cleared yet to go back to school.
i still don't know how to process what i learned from the league. the video recording of my mom and dad something that haunts me, and a wound that no doctor could ever heal.
a couple of the girls have come over to visit, bringing homework that i've missed and filled me in on anything i've missed in my two weeks of missing classes. they've insisted a couple of times to get me out of the small apartment but i decline every time.
i don't think i'm ready to face the world yet. guilt of what i'm capable of doing creeping into my every day thoughts.
eiji has only come over a couple of times since my release from the hospital, cooking dinner for all of us and playing video games with futo while i do my make up homework.
"i told you i'd find you damnit."
"you've been more quiet than normal ko," futoshi's words bring me out of my dazed state. i turn back to meet his eyes that mirror my own, worry swirling through them. "what's on your mind?"
i sink deeper into the couch cushions behind me, hoping that they would consume me so i don't have to answer the heavy question.
but to no avail.
i let out a deep sigh and stare at the tv projecting a show futoshi has been begging me to get into with him while i'm home. the brunette girl and orange headed boy building a sandcastle on the beach brings a slight smile to the corner of my lips.
it fades the second i'm brought back to reality.
a flash of mom and dads bodies evaporating on the screen.
"do you want to talk about it?" i don't look at him as the room becomes fuzzy, the dissociation making my ears slightly ring when the whispers begin to creep into the edges of my mind. they've been quiet since i got out of the hospital.
