Don't Text Me | Taesan X Woonhak

03: Dinosaur Pancakes

Dongmin was in the middle of one of the best dreams he'd had in a while. He was a little kid again, standing front row at a Nirvana concert, proudly wearing a band tee three sizes too big for him. The music was blasting, the crowd was cheering, and he was about to high-five Kurt Cobain himself.

Then the dream shattered.

His phone buzzed from under the pillow, jerking him awake with a start. Groggily, he blinked at the dim light streaming through his window. It was 8 in the morning, and his brain was definitely not ready for this.

Grabbing his phone, he glanced at the screen, already regretting it.

Unknown: Yo, guess what I had for breakfast?

Dongmin blinked. His dream-self would've scowled at this interruption.

Dongmin: What?

Unknown: Pancakes shaped like dinosaurs! 🦖 Pretty epic, right?

Dongmin rubbed his eyes, seriously wondering what cosmic force he had angered to deserve this.

Dongmin: Why are you telling me this?

Unknown: Because! You seem like the kind of guy who'd appreciate dinosaur pancakes.

Dongmin: I don't.

Unknown: You're lying. Deep down, you probably love dinosaurs. Everyone does.

Dongmin let out a long, exasperated sigh, his blanket still snug around him. The last thing he wanted at this ungodly hour was to debate his stance on prehistoric creatures.

Dongmin: It's 8 in the morning. Why are you already this annoying?

Unknown: 8 AM is the perfect time to spread joy and good vibes! I'm a morning person.

Dongmin: Clearly.

Unknown: You should try it! Being a morning person is great. You get to annoy people while they're still half asleep. It's like a free pass!

Dongmin: I'm considering blocking you.

Unknown: Nooooo! Don't block me! You'd miss out on all the fun! Plus, who else will send you random dinosaur facts in the morning?

Dongmin: No one. And that's exactly what I want.

Dongmin lay back down, his face buried in his pillow as he sighed into it.

Five minutes passed, and just as he started to drift back into sleep, his phone buzzed again.

Unknown: Okay, but hear me out-Did you know that velociraptors were actually feathered and way smaller than in the movies?

Dongmin groaned out loud, rolling onto his back, holding his phone above his face. Who even sends dinosaur facts this early?

Dongmin: Why do you know that?

Unknown: Because dinosaurs are cool! Duh.

Dongmin: This is a waste of my time.

Unknown: You say that, but I bet you Googled velociraptors just now.

Dongmin: I didn't.

Unknown: Are you suuure?

Dongmin: Positive.

Unknown: Fine. Be boring. But you're missing out on premium dino facts, man. Your loss.

Dongmin tossed his phone aside, hoping it would shut the stranger up for a while. But alas, the reprieve lasted barely five minutes before the buzzing resumed.

Unknown: OH! Speaking of Google, I tried to Google myself the other day.

He picked up his phone again, feeling the beginnings of a headache forming.

Dongmin: Why?

Unknown: Wanted to see if I was famous yet. Spoiler alert: I'm not. 😔

Dongmin: I could've told you that.

Unknown: Rude! I have a very cool online presence, okay? People love me.

Dongmin: I highly doubt that.

Unknown: Hurtful! I'm literally a ray of sunshine! People can't resist me! ^ ^

Dongmin: I'm resisting just fine.

Dongmin shook his head, wondering why he was still responding. This whole exchange was like watching a slow-motion car crash. He knew he should look away, but he just couldn't.

Unknown: Okay, fine. But you're secretly starting to like me. Admit it.

Dongmin: I'd rather eat a bowl of thumbtacks.

Unknown: Oof, that's harsh. But, at least you're talking to me, which means I'm growing on you, like a fungus.

Dongmin: That's not something to be proud of.

Unknown: Hey, mushrooms are cool. I could be a cool mushroom. 🍄

Dongmin rubbed his temples, feeling his patience slip away.

Dongmin: You need help.

Unknown: Maybe. But I'm too fun to fix.

Dongmin: You're exhausting.

Unknown: Nah, you like it. You're just pretending to be annoyed.

Dongmin: No pretending. I am very annoyed.

Unknown: Sooo... wanna meet?

Dongmin sat up in bed, his eyes narrowing at his phone. What kind of person was this?

Dongmin: I'd rather jump into a volcano.

Unknown: Okay, dramatic much? It's just a friendly meeting, not a death sentence.

Dongmin: Feels the same to me.

Unknown: :/ Why?

Dongmin: Why would I meet a stranger? You could be some random old man or a kidnapper.

Unknown: HEY I'M NOT AN OLD MAN OR A KIDNAPPER.

Dongmin: yeah... You're prolly a dumb teenager.

Unknown: Hey! You don't even know how I look like and you're calling me dumb?

Dongmin huffed out a small laugh. At least this person was predictable.

Dongmin: That's the point. We don't know how we look like. So, we can't meet. And you don't need to see someone to know if they are dumb or not.

Unknown: Then let's exchange pictures and meet irl.

Dongmin: No.

Unknown: Why? I wanna be friends. And let's be honest, I'm pretty bad at only socializing in texts.

Dongmin: I only prefer texting. Meeting people irl sounds like a hassle.

Unknown: Aw, come on! I'll even bring you a dinosaur pancake. You can't resist that.

Dongmin: Watch me.

Unknown: Fine. Be grumpy. But I'm not giving up. One day, you'll be like, "I can't live without you in my life."

Dongmin: That day will never come.

Unknown: Challenge accepted.

Dongmin stared at his phone screen for a moment before tossing it to the other side of the bed. He lay back down and pulled the blanket over his head, hoping that by the time he woke up again, his phone would mysteriously disappear. He needed peace, not pancake-loving strangers flooding his life with chaos.

-๑๑-

Hehehe I always wanted to write a story where one is too annoying and the other is too annoyed by them. I think I just found my perfect duo.