The Outsiders Stuff!

Maybe (oneshot)

TW: slurs, swearing, suicide-related stuff, general angst, calling Two-Bit a ginger rat.
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Johnny POV:
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I walked out, or rather got thrown out, of my house after my dad shoved me outside and shut the door. He said he didn't want to see me back again, but he'd probably forget it because he was drunk and couldn't care enough to remember anything about me. It sucked, but that was the reality of things.

I dusted myself off and decided to just walk around town. I didn't have anything better to do. Steve, Soda, and Darry were at work, Ponyboy was probably at another damn movie, and Two-Bit was probably off getting high with a dumb blonde bimbo. Dally wouldn't get out of juvie until next week, so I didn't have him as an option to hang out with right now either. Why the hell did that guy have to commit so many crimes?

I decided to try and mind my business in the park, but then some Socs approached me. There was 3 of them: a blond, a brunet, and a black-haired guy. Of course they had to come along when I was having an already shitty day.

"Hey, Greaser," the blond one said while approaching me. He had a cocky smirk on his face that made me wish Dally was here to sock him in the face. "What's your poor ass doing out here all alone?"

I wanted to say something snarky, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I just shrugged like the pussy I am.

"Dunno."

"Oh, you 'dunno'? What kinda retard are you?" The other two guys laughed after the brown-haired guy called me that. I didn't think I was a retard. I was just a little slow to understand things in school. The teachers sucked at explaining things.

I shrugged again, not wanting to provoke the Socs. They were less likely to jump me if I was just being passive.

"Jesus Christ," I heard one mumble. "It's like talking to a rock."

"Well he is a retard," the black-haired boy said in response. "And probably a fag. He looks like a fairy, right?" He nudged the blond, who nodded.

"Yeah. This bitch does look like a big ol' queer. You wanna suck my dick, faggot?" He shoved me backwards and I brushed my jean jacket off. Man I hate Socs. Why can't they just leave me alone?

"Can you guys leave me alone?" The brunet guy just mocked my voice. I got mad and flipped them off, then got my ass kicked. This is why I keep my mouth shut.

~~~

Once those guys left, I took a hot minute to get back on my feet. My nose was bleeding and I was gonna be littered in even more bruises in the morning. It was just the same cycle over and over again.

I wake up, my parents beat me and yell at me, I get thrown out, everyone's fucking busy, some douchey Socs pick on me, I may or may not get beaten up, then it repeats all over again. I hated it!

I didn't wanna live like that anymore. Or at all. I just couldn't keep going like this. I hated it. That's when I remembered the 6-inch switchblade I had on me existed.

I took it out and took the blade out. It was cold to the touch and had a metallic gleam to it. I could see my reflection in the silver metal. My dumb, brown, beaten-up face was staring back at me. I hated how I looked. My face was stupid and I didn't like it. I hated it and I hated my life.

As I was thinking about the best way to insert the cold knife into my body, I heard a voice behind me.

"Johnny?" I turned around and saw Two-Bit. He looked sober, which was rare because that ginger was always drunk or high off his ass.

"The hell are you doin' out here this late? And what happened to your face?" He spedwalk over to me and took my face in his calloused white hands.

"What d'ya mean? It always looks like this." I said "Ugly" in my mind instead of out loud because Two-Bit would go on a stupid rant about how I was "handsome" and "good-looking". It was just bullshit.

"No, I meant beat up. Did someone jump you?" He looked at my bruises before letting go.

"Yeah. I got too mouthy with some Socs and they didn't take kindly to that. I gotta learn how to shut up. Talkin's your thing, not mine." I looked back down at my knife and put the blade part away.

"Hey, why do you even have that out?" Two-Bit pointed to my switchblade.

"Huh?"

"The knife."

"Oh. I dunno."

"Don't bullshit me."

"Mind your own business."

"Johnny-"

"Shut the hell up, Two-Bitch. Your voice is annoying and you ain't as funny as you think you are! So just shut the fuck up you ginger rat!"

"..."

Fuck. I didn't mean to snap at him. He was just curious. I shouldn't have done that. I'm an asshole. How do I apologize? Can I apologize? He probably wouldn't accept it because I was a jerk. Why am I such a bad person? You shouldn't treat your friends like that. They're just trying to help! What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be decent? Why can't I just be good? Two-Bit isn't annoying most of the time, and his jokes actually make me laugh when I'm feeling down. And there's nothing wrong with having red hair. It actually suits him pretty well. Why did I say that? Why am I such a bitch? Why am I such a bad person?

"Johnny." Two-Bit shook my shoulder, which brought me back. "You alright? You were starin' into space just now."

"Yeah, just..." I sighed and pushed my stupid greasy hair back. "...just in an ass and I'm sorry for saying that." Two-Bit smiled, which showed off that slightly chipped front tooth he had.

"Oh, it's fine, Johnny-"

"No, it ain't," I said, cutting him off. "It ain't fine that I insulted you like that. Just because I'm having a shitty day don't mean it's okay to take it out on you. I-I mean, you was just tryna help me."

Two-Bit grabbed my skinny arm, dragged me to his messy-ass house, and took me into his alcohol-smelling room.

"All right, what's going on, Johnny? You ain't usually like this." I sighed and sat down on his clothes-covered bed.

"I just don't wanna do this anymore. My life sucks, everyone's busy and doin' their own thing, and it feels like I don't have anything or anyone to make it feel better. Every day it's the same with my shitty parents and the Socs, and I don't wanna put up with it anymore."

I saw Two-Bit's grey eyes change. For once they didn't look that playful. It was a little scary seeing the guy either only two braincells looking serious.

He decided to hug me, and that just made me cry. I didn't realize how much I needed one until Two-Bit gave me it. It felt like someone actually cared.

"...what were you gonna do with that knife, Johnny?"

"..."

"Johnny?"

I sighed and buried my face in his Mickey-mouse shirt.

"...stab myself." I felt him hug me tighter and take the knife from my back pocket.

"You ain't doin' that on my watch, Johnnycake. You're too sweet to die. We all care about you, and I dunno if some of us could go on if you left." He set the knife on his nightstand. "Just don't do it, okay? If you ever feel like this again, go to me, or Darry, or whoever the hell you wanna talk to. Just keep living, okay? There's so many great things out there that you ain't never seen yet. I want you to keep living until you die from old age and have seen everything this world has to offer, okay?"

I nodded and lifted my head up.

"...okay." Two-Bit smiled and gently pushed my messy hair out of my face.

"Good." He hugged me again then got up. "Sleep in my bed. I'll take the couch." Before I had time to argue, he left and shut the door. I decided to just do what he said and go to sleep. I felt better now. It was nice having someone to talk to. Just having someone to be there for you made it a little more bearable.

Maybe life isn't so bad. There's a lot of pretty things out there, like flowers and rainbows. I'll try to find one when it rains next time.

I pulled Two-Bit's ratty blanket over myself and fell asleep feeling more at peace. Maybe tomorrow would be a good day, where no Socs jumped me and I could just hang with Two-Bit all day. Just maybe.

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