I rocked on my feet back and forth. Over and Over again. Waiting. Counting the time.
"You seem like such nice guys. But your lyrics, they're so.... so depressing. Why?" She asked him as she pulled down her shirt.
Her hair was down in waves, red lipstick covered her lips, her shirt was well fitted and she had ripped shorts on. She shifted her feet that TOMS covered. She wasn't bad looking either.
That's what got to me.
I leaned back in my chair as Oliver and Matt laughed at their answer. I rolled my eyes at the girl.
I mean, she wasn't bad. She wasn't slutty. She was the opposite. Maybe that's why it pissed me off.
Oliver wasn't into slut girls anymore. Not since SJ. He wasn't going there at all. Not since he met me.
We've been together for almost a 2 years and a half. Starting with hating each other. To helping each other. To making each other jealous. To fooling around and hooking up. To dating. Now finally engaged.
"That's it for today guys. I'm Raven and this is the Kerrang! podcast. Thank you Bring Me The Horizon for coming. Maybe you guys will come back. Night Viewers!"
"Aaaaand we're clear." The camera man said.
I sighed in relief getting up. I walked up to Oliver but Raven started to talk to him.
"Fuck'em Zen. C'Mon lets go get food over here in the dressing room." Jona said running a hand through his hair.
I looked down to the shiny engagement ring and nodded. I walked behind him and sat down on the couch that was on the middle of the room.
The walls were all written and drawed on by various of bands. I admire those kinds of things.
"Jona?" I said quietly.
"Yeah Zen?"
"Am I... am I... worth it?" I asked lacing my fingers together nervously.
"Yeah Zenly. Why would you think other wise?" He asked sitting next to me.
I slightly smiled at the name he called me. Zenly. Somehow it made me feel better. It made me remember my childhood when I stayed at my grandparents house during summer. My grandfather would call me that when I was little. Calling me over for dinner.
He'd tie my shoes and put his right palm on my right shoulder as we walked by miles of trees at the park.
My grandmother would take pictures of me and my grandfather listening to old records of Elvis and The Who.
He got me into "Heros" by David Bowie.
My grandfather was the reason I stayed strong through my parents divorce.
My grandfather was my hero.
But that soon changed as one day we sat on a bench that faced the lake. He wrapped his arm around me. I could see that he was going to tell me something important. He always told me things. He treated me like an adult at the right times and I loved it.
He looked at the lake lovingly and closed his eyes. That's when he told me he had a brain tumor. He only had a few days left.
I lost me hero at age 10 and since then..... I've been lost.
"I don't know Jona. I just..... I just.. Oliver and I. We just don't..." I closed my eyes. I let my head hang and shook it. I could feel tears falling.
"Zen, Hunny why are you crying? what's wrong? Is there something between you and Oliver we should know about? Is he cheating? Did he do something to you? Tell me what's wrong Hun." He said worryingly as Lee came in.
Lee rushed to my side and hugged me as I let a sob escape. Jona did the same. He hugged Lee as Lee hugged me.
"I just don't want me and Oliver to end up like me parents. I don't want to be a fuck up and ruin everything. I don't want my child to feel like I did if Oliver and I get divorced. I don't want Oliver to do what my father did to her. I don't want my future children to hate me and and.... oh god." I sobbed.
I heard the door open. The guys hugged me harder as I sobbed more. uncontrollably.
"I don't want my children to be molested like I was by my father."
I cried harder. I never told anyone about this. That was why my parents divorced. Why my mother always sent me to grandparents lake house during summers. That's why I always never let any guy get close to me.
I just didn't realize that Oliver heard everything. Everything that I kept secret. After he told me all of his.
OK guys! There are a few chapters left to this story. Sequel? yes or no? I can be very good at keeping the end to this story as a cliffhanger. Not sire if I am able to do a sequel. I have yet to try! Love you all. I really do.
Nighty night.
-KLASH
