I'm Scott Malkinson

33- The Biggest Loser

[ik it's been over a year but I have a new chapter. I might actually finish this eventually.]

When Clyde finally makes it back home, Griffin is in the driveway practicing skate tricks while his best friend, Dylan, is sitting on the front steps watching.

"Didn't bring your board, Dyl?" Clyde asks as he approaches the house.

As he speaks, Griffin nearly falls off his skateboard as his head whips around to his father. He somehow manages to safely make it to a stop and steps off. By then, Clyde has already made it to him and he hooks one arm around his son's neck, catching him in an affectionate headlock.

"Hey Griff," Clyde greets him, the corners of his mouth turning upwards. His awkward interaction with Scott this morning might have left him feeling a bit hurt and confused, but Clyde finds that spending time with his kids is a pretty good remedy. He loves them both to death.

"You didn't come home last night," Griffin says, not exactly greeting him, instead presenting an observation with the expectation of an explanation.

Clyde sucks in a deep breath.

"Yeah and I'm sure your mom's already complained to you all about it," he replies a bit bitterly, forcing his mouth into a tight smile. He hates the way Jade always drags Griffin into their drama, treating their sixteen year old son like a therapist.

"Yeah," he admits, letting out a long breath through his nose before wrestling his way out of the headlock. "She took Fletcher to the store with her to get him a few last minute back to school outfits," Griffin adds, giving Clyde a heads up that his other son isn't around to catch up with, and might not be for the rest of the day.

Clyde doesn't doubt for a second that Fletcher will be coming home with more than just some back to school outfits. Jade likes to shower the kids with gifts after fighting with Clyde, especially Fletcher. He figures it's probably some sort of manipulation tactic to punish him by pitting his children against him. Well whatever, two can play at that game. "You two wanna go to iHop?" he asks, plastering on the most convincing grin he can manage.

The two teens glance back and forth at each other before Griffin finally speaks up. "Uh, hell yeah I wanna go to iHop. Let's go get waffles!"

Clyde can't help the snort of laughter that comes out. That kid truly is a younger version of him.

He takes a moment to freshen up before they head out, changing his clothes, shaving, and brushing his teeth so he seems a bit more presentable, then he and the boys all climb into his jeep and head off towards the restaurant. As he drives, he decides to start up a conversation with his son's friend.

"So how's life on the farm?" Clyde asks, glancing up at him in the rear view mirror.

Dylan's home life is a bit of an odd situation. He technically has two half siblings, but they were both in their mid to late twenties by the time he was born, each already having kids of their own by that point, so in a way he's more like an only child. The poor kid's mother walked out on them several years ago, so he lives in the sole custody of his less than stable father. Clyde grew up with Stan, and he knows what a negative impact Randy's shenanigans had on him growing up, and it seems their father had only gotten crazier in his old age, so Clyde tries his best to look out for him.

Dylan lets out an irritated puff of air and rolls his eyes which tells him just about all he needs to know about the situation. "Oh just peachy," the teen replies through a tight smile.

"He's pissed that his dad made him cut his hair," Griffin explains, bluntly. "I don't blame him because that buzz cut kinda makes him look like an egg."

Clyde hears a loud thunk beside him as Dylan smacks Griffin in the back of the head. "Don't tell him that!" he whines, leaning forward and burying his face in the back of the seat.

"Why not?" Griffin asks. "It's a totally normal thing to be pissed about. Your dad is super controlling."

"It makes me look like a loser."

"Being upset doesn't, but the shitty cut kinda does."

Clyde was lucky enough growing up to have a dad who let him express himself however he wanted. He'd gone through too many weird childhood phases to count, but he's glad he always had the opportunity to do so. Some kids don't get that opportunity, but he's always done his best to make sure his sons had that freedom.

Clyde's mind drifts to Scott and how he never seemed to have actually broken free of his parents', or maybe the church's, expectations for him. Clyde can't help but wonder if he really feels as fulfilled as he preaches or if secretly he feels the same missingness that he does. Surely he must feel like something's wrong, after all, he's spent so many years repressed, so many years claiming he isn't attracted to men when the truth of the matter is that all those years ago Scott kissed him first, both times.

The first time Scott had gotten so blackout drunk at The Music Man's cast party that he'd managed to forget it by the morning, and Clyde had been too nervous about how he'd react to tell him about it. Scott might've forgotten, but Clyde still remembers his breathless words after their first kiss: "I've been dreaming of doing that for weeks." How does he just say something like that and then go on with his life like it never happened?

"Sorry kid," Clyde says, looking at Dylan through the mirror. "There's only enough room for one giant loser in this car and I've already got it covered." It's half a joke, but partially it's actually how he feels. He thinks all self deprecating jokes are rooted a bit in truth, and this one is no exception. This isn't the life he wanted to live, married to a woman he doesn't love and hung up on a man who's worked so hard to erase him from his life. Clyde doesn't know how much longer he can keep doing it.

He catches Griffin frowning beside him, but his son doesn't say anything.

They don't speak the rest of the way to the restaurant, instead Clyde turns on the radio to fill the awkward silence that's started to settle around them.