"Goodmorning." Cody said with a yawn.
Today was the last day that Braxton had to stay at the hospital. I don't know what this means for me and cody but i am kind of afraid. I wont be able to see him as much.
"Good morning hansom."
He kissed my forehead and looked into my pupils.
"You are so gorgeous."
I blushed and looked into the covers. I had been sleeping in cody's bed ever since he had forgiven me.
"Cody?"
"Yes beautiful?"
"I love you so much. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, and i didn't deserve to be forgiven."
"Baby, it wasn't your fault. I heard your conversation with Braxton in the hallway outside of my room."
"Still. I didn't stop him."
"A pretty girl like you needs to explore her options. I understand that. I just want the best for you, and if you were uncertain then it is good that you decided."
"I just feel like i betrayed you."
"Baby, i felt that way at first too, but i know that you needed to discover your feelings. Even though it maybe wasn't the best way to find out, i knew it helped you to realize that you love me. And thats all that matters."
I smiled and snuggled into him. Our smiles were hardly apart. He kissed me. I have to admit, every one feels like the first. His hand traveled to my butt. It always seemed to find its way there. I thought it was kind of funny actually.
"Whoa there." I squeaked.
"Hey! You could give me something sometimes too you know!" He said with a laugh, obviously joking.
I reached down and put my hand on his chest.
I began kissing him again but rougher. He started to get anxious, i could tell. He started to pull me on top of him so i cooperated. Then when his fingers began to travel to the rim of my shirt, i grabbed his hands and pulled them away. A little teasing couldn't hurt.
"Hey!" He yelled sarcastically. "You teased me!"
"You want more?"
"Yes!!!"
I then leaped off of him and found my way to the light switch. Not that it was dark, the sun was streaming through the window curtains.
"You have to earn it!" I teased.
I walked back over to his bed and put my arm across his chest. I bent down and kissed his forehead.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you more."
I smiled and slowly left the room, daydreaming about cody. I walked down the hall to Braxton's room like i did most mornings and knocked lightly on the door before entering. This was the first time that he wasn't awake when i came.
"Braxton? Braxton, wake up." I kind of sung.
He still wouldn't budge. I took this time alone with him unconscious, to observe him. I picked up his hand in mine and turned it over. I examined his slitted wrists. I couldn't help but feel it was all my fault. I should have forgiven him sooner.
I got carried away touching all of the scars and didn't realize he was awake.
"Having fun?" He said, laying lifeless.
"Oh!" I said jumping out of my shoes. "I didn't know you were awake." I said kind of embarrassed.
"Its fine. Im just playing with you." He said with the slightest giggle.
"Still. I shouldn't have."
"Jules. Its fine!" He reassured me.
"This is all my fault isn't it."
"No! Why would u ever think that?"
"I just........ I should have forgiven you."
"No! What i did is unforgivable, and even you forgiving me now is a miracle that i don't deserve. I betrayed the one i love most. Im sorry! Im sorry jules!"
He began to cry and started squeezing my hand. I forced a smile through my tears. I quickly shook him off and left the room. As soon as i hit the hallway, the tears started flowing. I covered my face in my hands and hid my awful, tired face. What has happened to my life. If i just look back to the beginning of this year, everything i had was perfect. Well, as perfect as a child like me could possibly be. I had great best friends, a perfect body, and beautiful hair. Now look at me. Almost all of my friends are traitors, or people i have traded, i have gotten fat (my butt is huge!!!!!), and my hair is frizzy. I don't know why cody even likes me. Or Braxton for that matter.
As i sat in the hallway. Crying over my every flaw, i saw cody approaching. I guess he had seen me crying on the way to visit sky.
"Baby? Whats wrong?" He said approaching me.
"I just..... I hate myself and i hate my life!" I choked out.
"Baby don't say that!"
"Why not? Im fat, ugly, and i barely have any friends. Not to mention that i hardly have any family."
I blurted all of it out before i realized that i had not even told cody about my life.
"What do you mean jules?"
"Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"Jules, you can tell me!"
"Well, my friends arm had to be amputated because of me, my other friend cheated on me with my best friend. Not to mention that she may be pregnant with has child. My brother died trying to save Braxton when i was young, and my mother died right after my parents got divorced so the whole neighborhood thinks that my only family, my father, murdered my mother."
Cody held me.
"I am so sorry."
"What about you? Wheres the rest of your family?" I guess i said that a little too harshly.
"My father beat my mother constantly when i was younger. Sometimes i tried to stop him and he....." Tears fell from his precious eyes. "He raped me.......only once....but...."
"Cody i am so sorry!" I cried.
"He left us. Thank god for that. Maybe he realized we weren't good enough. Then, a year later, My mom got cancer. We can be here for each other right? Can we fix each other?"
I smiled at him.
"I love you cody."
"I love you more."
"I love you most."
Then we kissed, and like always, it was extremely magical and romantic. Suddenly Braxton came out of his room. His eyes pierced my skin. As i pulled away from cody, i looked up at his eyes. They were filled with pain and ruin.
"Im sorry. I just have to get used to it." He said reentering is room and locking the door with a sharp click. My shaky palms traveled to my eyes.
"Uuug!" I screeched.
"Your ok."
I nodded.
"How would you like to go tell my mother about us. I would love for us to all hang out."
I smiled, suddenly joyous.
"Id love to!"
