I sat there with all smiles, hand in hand with Cody. My dad was signing the documents for the adoption. I couldn't believe it. No matter how messed up it was, Cody was mine forever. Even if he is gonna be my step brother. He is still mine. We are not technically related so it would be ok if we got married I guess. Or maybe we would be investigated by the adoption agency for that. For an unfit home. Would we? I don't know. I just want to live in the moment, just be in right now. I wanted to sleep tonight knowing that Cody would be right in the next room. That he would be there to help my nightmares to go away. To be there forever. To be my new Kendly.
I can't believe I just said that. I don't just love Cody so that he can replace my brother! I don't! why would I even think that! Of course it's not true! I love Cody!
I know it seems like I am just trying to convince myself but that's not it at all! I love him! I really do!
I started to pivot in my chair, getting anxious. He just looked into my eyes and and squeezed my hand tighter. This made me think of Braxton and his romantic side. It reminded me of that night when he said it would be special. When it was special. When he made the movie for me and wrote me the note. When he left a trail of rose petals and we danced together. When he gave me the most romantic letter declaring his love for me and saying it would always be more than enough for him. Little did I know, it already wasn't enough. All of it had been a lie. Just a trick on the poor girl who lost half of her family. The sad scarred girl who smokes weed in old factory's. Julie Whitherington, that girl.
I snapped back into reality just as my dads pen was signing Whitherington On the final blank of the document.
I don't like this point in the story. The point where I get lost in so many emotions. An important part in my life. I don't like to think about milestones really. I bet you wanna know why. I bet you think it's weird. Its because after emotions fled my body when two of my greatest friends died, I just relate most all emotions with death and loss. I don't do this all of the time. Just during moments that matter. I can't really help it actually. It's my brain. My self conscious making me do it. It's like whenever this happens, I get sick. Emotionally ready to through up. I don't expect you to understand because I don't know what you are like. I don't know if I am just so messed up that I am the only person who has developed this, but I just don't like this moment. I know it's strange because it is one of the best moments of my life. The moment when I know I will have him forever. When someone I love will always be there for me. When my broken family gets a little more put back together. When the decision is made for me that I will love Cody as my brother. And I know deep down in my heart that it is better that way. And so does he. I just know it. Because of my not wanting to relive this moment, the moment when my emotions flood me, I'll skip a little further in my life and my story. Trust me. You won't miss much. Let's say tonight at five. That should be a good place to start.
Setting: 5:00 Saturday night. Cody and I are getting dressed up fancy to go to eat our first family dinner.
Cody is getting dressed in Kendly's room, a.k.a. His new room. He is gong to inherit all of Kendly's untouched, treasured belonging that he left behind without a warning. As he put on some nice dress clothes, I tried to decide what I would wear. It was hard caring since I hadn't Done that in so super long! After I got my shower and put on my make up, ( I did light eye make up and nude colored blush) I walked to my closet in my pink robe and tried to decide what to wear. I picked out this sleek black dress with a hole right below the neck in the shape of a heart. I don't know what the name of the kind of dress is called but it was very pretty. The heart was small. Halfway up it though, the top of the dress was see through, black lace. I decided to curl my hair in long ringlets and then rub silk drops into it. (sink drops is a hair product that makes your hair super soft.)
"Jules!"
"yeah!"
"time to go! Me and Cody are waiting."
"ok, I'm coming."
Shoot! I haven't nearly finished. I was gonna finish my lipstick and pick out some heels and a purse.
I quickly ran to my closet and slipped on the nearest black pumps. (I only have two pair) then I snatched a darkish colored purse, (I have a lot of purses cause Zoe buys a new one every week and gives them to me when she gets tired of them.) and I shoved my makeup bag inside it. I can't finish in the car and I can't finish in the restaurant but I will just bring it in case.
I was going for the beautiful lady cat look but it just looked like I was an orphan with a credit card when I left my full body length mirror.
I quickly skipped down the stairs looking like a moron because of my heels and my clumsiness. When I reached the bottom of the stairs though, only my father was down there waiting.
"Where's Cody?!?!?"
"I don't know. He said he was gonna go get something important and meet us at the restaurant."
"dad! Did you give him a stern talk or something?"
"no! He said he had to go pick something up."
"ok. Well, do i have at least a little time to fix my makeup?"
"what would you fix?"
"just answer my questions dad!"
"no! You are perfect, let's go!"
"ug!!! Dad!" I moaned sarcastically. But at the end of the day, he always knew how to pick me up and to make me feel better about myself.
"what restaurant are we going to?" I asked him.
"you'll see" maybe my dad was shy, but he had a lot of character. He was tricky.
I followed right behind him to the car. When I sat in the crisp leather seat, I slumped down wishing I was wearing my tight flare jeans with a soft shirt from pink. I loved dressing lazy. I didn't like how when you wore nicer clothes, you always had to straitened a sleeve or hold in your stomach of suck in your thighs. I liked being able to be me and wearing baggy, comfy clothes makes me feel like I can just relax and not try to please anyone. I did like to dress up every once in a while though. It made me feel somewhat like a princess. Sure, I didn't have the money or the looks but it gave me a sense of pride. I had to be in the right mood though or it would just feel awkward.
I looked out the window and took in my surroundings. We were passing a couple of familiar places. Then I kind of froze in my seat because I realized where he was taking me. He was taking me to my favorite restaurant. The last restaurant we ate at as a family. My dad had only taken me back one other time and that was the night of my mom's funeral. That I night I threw up. It was probably just the stress but ever since, it wasn't my favorite restaurant anymore. It has been years since we have been. Maybe he wanted to bring me there to symbolize that our family was reunited again. I didn't want to go there. My stomach grew fluttery and I twisted and turned in my seat.
"what's wrong honey?"
"please don't say you are taking us to firebirds dad?"
"don't worry honey, it will be fun!"
"no dad! No! Please just take me home!"
I started to feel sick so I grasped my stomach and stuck my head out of the window. I had never loved that feeling.
"well we have to eat, and Cody is already planning to come here."
"dad turn around!" I screamed right before I puked all over the outside of my dads Toyota.
