'Oh my God, I died. Oli freaking Sykes was in my living room today. Mum told me that he's going to be living with us for a while. I had to pinch myself a million times because I really thought I was dreaming. Like really, really, really dreaming. Cause I've had that dream before. And it's proper come true now, hasn't it? I totally froze up when I saw him walk in through the front door behind my parents. I was not prepared for that. They did not tell me that they were even touring with Bring Me The Horizon, let alone that they'd be bringing Oli Sykes home with them. I WOULD HAVE PREPARED. I would've dressed for the occasion. I mean, I would've at least worn something other than my unicorn pyjamas. Ugh, my favourite singer in the world is at my house, and now he must think I'm a total loser because I'm twelve and I still like unicorns. Why does the universe hate me? I bet he's never been this embarrassed in his entire life. I can't imagine Oli doing anything embarrassing. He's so cool. When I grow up, I want to be just like him. I'll have piercings and tattoos and wear black just like him. Oh my God, by the way. When he saw me, he said, "Ow do, I'm Oli." He smiled at me, too. I died. I couldn't form a coherent sentence, so I just kind of ran away. Now, I'm hiding in my room, hoping the Earth swallows me alive.'
"Just pathetic," I muttered with an eyeroll.
'The Earth didn't swallow me alive. I was forced out of my room and had to come downstairs for lunch and a family meeting. I changed out of my pyjamas before I dared come face to face with him again. He smiled when he saw that I wore a BMTH shirt. I blushed like crazy. Anyway, the meeting. Mum and dad explained that Oli's enrolled in a music uni near our house and that he's moving in for the time being. I don't know what uni is exactly, but they did tell me that it's some kind of school. I don't know why someone as cool as Oli would even want to go to school, but that's his business, I guess. I was told that he'd be my new babysitter. When I pinched myself, I didn't wake up, so I reckon that's really happening. I feel like I don't have to tell you how absolutely embarrassing it was that Oli found out that I still needed a babysitter. I was really angry and really embarrassed, so I accused them of making me look like proper twat. I still have to look up what that word means because as soon as it left my mouth, mum and dad started screaming at me and sent me to my room. I did make Oli laugh, though.'
"What a fucking twat," I snorted. Truly cringey, that. Bloody painful, even.
'Today was the first day Oli and I spent alone together. Mum and dad are gone for the next month. I know he's been staying with us a while now, but I still can't form a single sentence around him. I hate it. I miss Jenny. She'd been my nanny since I was 8. I could form sentences around her. Even complex ones. If I manage two words in a row in front of him, it's an achievement.'
'Oli explained what a twat is. I understand why my parents didn't like me using the word.'
'Oli's offered to teach me how to play the piano. We have one in our living room, but I've never much cared for the instrument. I do now. I've been taught how to play the guitar and the drums since I was 4. I told him that I could play all of BMTH's songs on both. He didn't believe me, so I dared him to give me any song title he wanted. I played It Never Ends, Chelsea Smile, and It Was Written in Blood for him. He was impressed, and he gave me a fist bump. I died.'
"I haven't played the piano in while," I muttered. Maybe I should start again.
'OH MY GOD, IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING. I WANT TO DISAPPEAR FOREVER. WHY, OH WHY, DID I HAVE TO GET MY FIRST PERIOD WHILE MUM'S ON TOUR? WHY DID OLI HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO EXPLAIN HOW PADS WORK? I AM SUCH A LOSER. I WANT JENNY BACK.'
I cringed at the memory. That was not a fun week. I couldn't look him in the eye for the entire month. When my parents returned and I told mum what happened, I cried for an hour. She wasn't happy when I told her it was her fault. I was sent to my room and continued crying until Oli came up and told me that it really wasn't mum's fault, but that he understood why I felt that way. He gave me a hug, and I can still remember how nice he smelt.
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Just a Crush: Dear Diary (Oli Sykes)
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