Just a Crush: Dear Diary (Oli Sykes)

Chapter Twenty-two: Masks

'I must admit something incredibly pathetic. Sometimes, I listen to Deathbeds and pretend like he's singing about me. But then I remember that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore because I've crossed the boundaries a bit too much, and then I cry.'

"Well, this doesn't look like enough rooms to me, Mr Fish," I said, feeling a bit amused when we entered our housing for the next two nights. "Sorry, I really thought there would be six beds," Jordan scratched the back of his head. "Why would you even make a reservation for six beds when there's five of you?" I asked. "I dunno," he shrugged. "I'll just take the couch then," I said, shaking my head with a light chuckle. "No, you can't do that. You're our guest," he refused. "It's honestly fine," I waved my hand dismissively. "What if two of us sleep in the same bed? Then you can have the spare one," Lee suggested. "Good thinking. But who's going to take one for the team?" Jordan asked. "Let's draw straws," Matt said. I felt like maybe I could have just repeated that I was fine with the couch, but it would've been futile. They never listen to me anyway.

Oli was still pissed off at me, so he refused to give up his bed. Matt, Mickey, Lee, and Jordan found plastic straws in one of the drawers in the kitchenette, and they cut two a bit shorter than the rest. In the end, Matt and Mickey drew the shorter ones, and the matter was settled. Although Mickey did tell me that he'd rather share his bed with me than with Matt, which made me blush, obviously. He laughed at my reaction and told me he was joking. I think Mickey's joke angered Oli further because the latter just stormed off to his "room." Had there been a proper door separating his space from the rest of the tent, he would've surely banged it shut. "What's got him so annoyed anyway?" Jordan asked. "I found him dancing in his underwear earlier, and he's been cheesed off ever since," I told them quietly. "He's being a cunt because you walked in on him dancing in his knickers?" Mickey raised an eyebrow and exchanged a look with Jordan. "He's being a bit childish, isn't he?" I whispered. "You can say that again," he sniggered. "Aren't you pissed off at him, too, though?" Lee asked. "Aye, you did bite his head off in the van," Matt agreed. "He's started it. He yelled at me," I whinged. "You two are so bloody weird," Mickey laughed. "Oi, none of this is my fault, okay?" I crossed my arms. "Can't you just talk it out? For our sake?" Jordan asked. "I'll chat with him when he apologises," I said. "Can't you just be the bigger person?" He suggested. "No! He's always being a dick toward me, and I've had enough. He keeps saying that I'm a child and makes it seem like he's such an adult, but I am quite frankly yet to see this so-called adult behaviour from him," I said. "Leonora, Oli's obviously going through something, and he's a very stubborn person. You can't take it personally," Jordan tried to calm me. "Well, so am I," I huffed. "Just leave it, Jordan. It's none of our business, really," Matt commented. "Fine," Jordan sighed. "Alright, now that that's settled... who's ready to have a few drinks and then head to the festival?" Mickey asked. "That sounds lovely," I grinned. "Do we have any beer left?" Lee asked. "It's in the van still, I think," Matt told him. "Let's go fetch it then," the former said. "I'll go with you," I offered. I still had to get my guitar from the car, too. Lee, Matt, and I left to get the beer, while Jordan and Mickey unpacked their things. We returned five minutes later, each carrying two sixpacks. Jordan ran to open the fridge for us while Mickey sat at the table, rolling a cigarette. "Since when do you smoke rolled ciggies?" I asked him when I discarded my luggage. "I don't," he grinned. I gave him a weird sort of look, and he raised the cigarette up to my face. I smelled it, and my nose scrunched up disgustedly. "I reckon your baccy's gone bad," I said. "Oh my sweet summer child, that's not baccy," he said condescendingly. "What is it then -. Oh," realisation hit me finally. "Have you never smoked weed before?" Mickey asked. "Surprisingly no," I shook my head. "Would you like to? There's enough for all of us," he winked. "That sounds like fun," I nodded.

"You, outside. Now," Oli suddenly joined us. I narrowed my eyes at him but didn't move. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, dragging me outside. Our departure was accompanied by a chorus of ooohs and aaahs by the other four wankers. We stopped a few metres away from the tent. I glared silently at him. He looked furious. "You are not to smoke weed, am I clear?" He seethed. I scoffed but didn't reply. The sheer pants of this man. How dare he forbid me from smoking weed? How dare he order me around at all? He's not my parent. My parents probably wouldn't even care if I smoked weed. "Leonora, did you hear what I said?" Oli asked. I shrugged. "Can you answer me?" He asked again, annoyance lacing his voice. "I've nothing to say to you," I muttered. "How very mature," he rolled his eyes. "I'm immature? How very ironic," I scoffed. "What are you insinuating?" He lift an eyebrow. "I think the answer to that is quite obvious," I said. "You think I'm childish," he stated. "Aye, extremely childish," I told him. "What have I done that makes you say that? Enlighten me," he demanded. "Are you serious?" I scoffed again. "Extremely," he said. "Alright, but you've asked for this. Where should I begin then? Maybe your jealousy over Remington? Or the fact that you bit Mickey's head off for some of the comments he's had when you spent the entire day yesterday doing the same thing? Or should we skip straight to today? You'd been acting weird all morning, making me doubt myself for maybe going too far or being too friendly. Meanwhile, YOU were the one who slept in my bed the day before yesterday, YOU said you liked the skirt, YOU didn't look away when I came to bed last night in my knickers, and I was the one who'd done something? Really? And the absolute cherry on top of everything was earlier when I came to fetch you, and you screamed at me for disrespecting your boundaries. I was just trying to tell you we were leaving. I apologised. But you never have. And I honestly don't know what kind of friendships you normally have in your life, but this isn't it. I can't be your friend if all you ever do is get cheesed off at me for nothing, and then suddenly, you're great and want to spend time with me. But then you're angry all over again. You told me; you said that adults talk about what's bothering them. There's obviously something happening, but you're not communicating! And I have had it up to here with your condescending bullshit, Oliver. I get it. You babysat me years ago, fine. But I'm not a 12-year-old girl anymore. You were the one who said we should be mates. Mates don't treat their bloody mates like they're children. Either we're friends and we're fucking equal or we're not friends at all," I said and stormed off. I couldn't stay there with him because he would've seen me cry. I often cried when I was so angry. It broke my bloody heart to yell at him. But I owed it to myself to stand up to him.