Just a Crush: Dear Diary (Oli Sykes)

Chapter Twenty-six: Dreamer

'Today marks one week of no Oli. On the one hand, I've been more productive than in the last month and a half. I've caught up on all my homework and I've written three seminar papers which aren't due for another month. Y'know, I'll grasp at anything that'll take my mind off of how much I bloody miss him. On the other hand, I miss him, obviously, and I hate it. Ugh. It doesn't help that Dom and Anika have gone on another bloody vacation together, Gemma's been avoiding me after I hurt her feelings, and Laurie's been busy with school. This year really counts for him. Everything's changing, and I feel incredibly lonely. I'm working on a new song. I've got a few lines down, but they're not connected yet. So, I have:
I'll take you places
You said the other day
Let's just go and not look back
Or would you rather stay?
...
Let's just go places
...
No questions asked
No questions last
I don't know, I like the last two lines the most. I'll see what I do with them. I don't want to write another stupid love song because that's not the type of music I generally like, but it's all that's being produced by my stupid, hormonal brain. I've actually spoken to my mum about this. We had a very nice moment a couple of days ago. She said that it was normal for me to be thinking about boys and going through unrequited love at this age. I didn't tell her who the boy on my mind was. I've actually never considered the consequences of something happening with Oli in regard to my parents and his friendship with them until this very moment. That probably wouldn't go down too well, would it? Or they might surprise me and just not care. They've gone back to being absent and clueless about what's happening to me. I don't know how they haven't noticed the missing razor blades or the occasional droplet of blood I've overlooked in the bathroom. I love them, but sometimes I think they really shouldn't have had me. Lie. I often think that everything would've been much easier for everyone had I not been born. Even more so these past six months. Will this get better with time? Do adults have these thoughts? Probably, right? I just don't want to be sad or empty anymore. Right, change of topic. Where was I earlier? My talk with mum. Yes. She said that rock and metal and especially emo music was often about emotions, and love is a very strong and important emotion. That I should just continue writing about the things that I find inspiration in. So, I guess I'll continue down this path. Alright, I don't know what else to write right now, so I'll just talk to you later. Bye, diary.'

I'm walking through a forest in the middle of the night. It's incredibly dark, and I can't see anything. I feel a chill run down my spine. I quickly look behind me, and I see red eyes poking through the thick blackness. I swallow hard and begin running. Thank God that I jog almost every day. I feel a sharp pain in my left foot, so I stop to look at what's happened. I notice that I'm barefoot, and I've cut my foot on a rock. As soon as I see the blood, I hear a low hissing sound coming from all around me. I begin sprinting again. I don't know where I'm going. All I know is that I can't stop. The forest grows thinner the longer I run. I see a dim light up ahead, so I follow it. The light becomes brighter the closer I get. I pass one final tree, and I find myself on top of the hill from Canterbury. I feel calmer and safer, so I stop. I turn around, and my stomach drops when I see the red eyes lurking behind the last tree. "It'll be night soon. I'll wait for you, little Miss Thomas," an emotionless voice drawls, and I begin walking backwards, away from the forrest. I stare at the eyes in horror as I take step after step. Blades of grass cut my feet, drawing more blood. "You smell divine, love," the voice whispers in my head. I close my eyes and shake my head. I take another step and open my eyes when I don't feel the wet grass under my toes anymore. I look down, catching a glimpse of the black stone before I feel a force like no other push my chest, and I begin falling. I don't have to look down to know. I close my eyes, accepting my fate without a single sound escaping my lips. I think I smile as I feel safer than I have up until this point. I keep waiting to land and burst into a thousand little pieces, but I never do. The breath gets knocked out of me when I hit something hard, but I'm still one and not a thousand. I open my eyes slowly and see that I'm being held in the air. "I've got you," he smiles, showing his sharp, bloodstained teeth. "Oli?" I ask. He frowns, and his eyes turn hazel. "I've got you, Leonora. I'm here. I'm back," he whispers and leans down. I wrap my arms around his neck. We kiss, and it's like I've always imagined. His lips are soft and warm, and he tastes sweet like blueberries. I open my eyes again and tell him I've waited a long time for this. "I have, too," he says and rests his forehead against mine. "But Oli? How can you be here when it's still daylight?" I asked, panicking. His eyes widen in surprise before he begins burning. He screams out in terror, and I fall to the ground along with his ashes.