Just a Crush: Dear Diary (Oli Sykes)

Chapter Three: Pyjamas

'Gemma and Dom visited me today. Gemma kept asking if I was okay. She kept glancing at the bandages around my lower arms, too. It's made me feel like a proper nutter. I don't want her to pity me. Dominic didn't say anything about what I'd done. I appreciate that a lot. We were sitting outside when he pulled out a cigarette. I never knew he smoked. I still felt self-destructive, so I asked if I could bum one off him. I guess Gem didn't want to feel left out, so she asked for one, too. He asked if we'd ever smoked before, and we both lied and said yes. He didn't question us any further and gave us what we wanted. We both started coughing as soon as we inhaled the smoke. It was disgusting, but I liked the feeling of having a ciggy between my fingers. It made me feel like a proper adult. I think I might start smoking.'

I inhaled cigarette smoke as I stared at the wooden fence around the house next door. Luckily, the holes between the pieces of wood were quite large, and I could still see most of the house. I didn't think the day would be eventful at all, but then I heard a car pull up and the sound of a dog barking. "Luna, get back here, you nutter," a male voice spoke. I strained my neck to see what was happening. Not too long after that, I saw a border collie sniffing around the fence. "Luna!" The man called again, and the dog disappeared. They went inside the house, and I couldn't see anything anymore. I loved dogs. My parents never let me have one because mum was allergic to them. I'll definitely get a dog once I move out. I understand now why the new owner had a fence built around his house. You wouldn't want your dog to run out into the street and get hit by a car.

My phone started ringing a bit later. "Alright, Laurie?" I answered. "Leonora, have you been on your YouTube channel recently?" He asked impatiently. "No? Why? What're you on about?" I asked, already getting up to look up my channel. "Bring Me The Horizon commented on our cover of Shadow Moses!" He cried excitedly. "What?" I asked. I didn't believe him. Not even when I opened the video and saw the comment myself. "They called our cover mental! That's huge!" He said. "Are we sure that this isn't some fan-made account?" I asked sceptically. "Christ, Len, just click on the profile. It's legit. They liked our cover!" Laurie tried to convince me.

He was right. It was right there. 'Fookin' mental!' I've no clue how they found it. This means that Oli's seen it. He's seen me sing his song. And he didn't message me personally. Nor did he call. I don't know how to feel about it.

"You there?" He asked. "Aye. Sorry, I'm a bit distracted by the fact that BMT bloody H saw our video!" I finally let myself feel the excitement. Regardless of my history with Oli, this was, in fact, huge for us. "Finally! Alright, I have to ring Gemma and Dom. I'll talk to you soon. Bye," he said, hanging up.

I stared at my computer screen for about 30 minutes before I grabbed my phone and called my parents. "Alright, love?" Dad asked. "Hi, is mum with you?" I asked. "Is anything the matter?" He asked. "No! Everything's fine. More than fine, actually. Bring Me The Horizon commented on our cover of their song!" I shrieked. "That's brilliant, love! Congratulations!" Mum spoke. "D'you know, I think Oli mentioned something last night," dad said. "You were with them last night?" I asked. "Aye. We're playing mostly the same festivals. Two more to go," he told me. "I can't wait to see you both," I said. "We're looking forward to seeing you, too, love," mum gushed. We talked for a bit longer before they had to leave. I missed them like crazy. Only a week longer, and they'll be home.

I went back to my computer and looked at the comment again. It was a momentary lapse in judgment when I went on Instagram and messaged Oli.

LenTommy: So, you liked the cover?

I don't know why I sent it. I wasn't expecting a reply or anything. I just wanted to contact him. I wanted his attention again. Most importantly, I just wanted him to care. Maybe he'd give me a reason not to hate him anymore. I stared at my phone screen for about 20 minutes, but when nothing happened, I locked the screen and discarded the phone.