Just a Crush: Dear Diary (Oli Sykes)

Chapter Eight: Gorgeous

'I'm in bed today because I drank too much yesterday. Note to future self: don't mix drinks. Especially on an empty stomach.'

James became my first ever relationship. He'd had girlfriends before, so he knew how relationships were supposed to work much better than I did. Although I didn't quite believe everything he'd tried to tell me. For example, James said that it was totally fine to have any sort of sexual relationship as soon as I agreed to be his girlfriend. And I was okay with kissing, really, I was, but whenever he'd become a bit too forward, I'd start feeling self-conscious and weird. I mean, I get horny. James has turned me on plenty of times, but the thought of actually doing anything proper sexual reminded me that I felt like a child, still. It's hard to explain. I'd tried explaining it to James. He was always quite understanding even though I didn't explain the way I felt too well. At least I thought he was. It sounded like he was understanding. It was a bit easier to refrain from going too far for the first 6 months. When we weren't on proper dates somewhere in public, we'd mostly just do things in my room. Dad said he didn't trust James, nor any other teenage lad for that matter, so the door to my room always had to be open. Well, at the very end of March, Blood and Water went on tour. Again. That meant that it didn't matter whether or not the door was open. There was no one who could catch us doing inappropriate things. I still tried my best to keep everything PG13. James only got a bit annoyed twice during that entire time.

I started inviting the band to hang out with us as often as I could because I was sure that he wouldn't try anything when we had company. They didn't agree every time. I don't think any of them liked James too much. But I was stupidly in love with him, so I didn't pay too much attention to their passive agressive comments about him. I thought they were just pissed off that I spent so much time with him ever since we'd started dating.

I made them promise to behave today at my birthday party, though. I am finally an adult. I am 18, and so are all of my closest friends. Including James. We're going to a club tonight. Mum and dad knew of my plans today, so they'd left me money to spend on our night out. I'd promised not to overdo it and not to take any drugs.

Gemma slept over last night so she could be the first to wish me a happy birthday. We already drank a bit yesterday. Not too much, though. I woke up at 9, feeling refreshed. I looked at my phone and saw that my parents had both texted me with birthday wishes already, and I was tagged in a post by Blood and Water. I clicked on the video, and a happy smile spread across my face. They had the crowd at yesterday's concert sing along to them playing a rock version of happy birthday. I commented on the post with three heart emojis. I was surprised to see a direct message from Oli, wishing me a happy birthday, too. Oli came back around January 10th. I didn't run into him in my pyjamas that time, but I did run into him. Literally. I was on my morning jog when I ran straight into him, knocking us both to the ground. It was incredibly embarrassing, and I apologised profusely before coming to my senses and hitting his shoulder with much force. He asked me what that was for and I told him that he was a twat for ghosting me again. He had apologised without giving me a reason for his actions. Instead of going home after already having done my jog, I huffed angrily and went on another round around the neighbourhood. So, even though he's been back for three months, our relationship isn't the best currently. I haven't visited or texted him once. He'd been over a few times to hang out with my parents, but since they've been gone, his visits have obviously stopped. Anyway, I thanked him for the wishes, but he wasn't online, so for now, the conversation's ended there.

"Good morning, my dearest legal adult," Gemma woke up and stretched. "Morning, MY dearest legal adult," I grinned. "Soooo, are we ready for the greatest day of your life?" She asked excitedly. "Oh, Gem, I'm so focking ready. C'mon, let's make coffee," I pulled her out of my bed. She excused herself and went to the bathroom to get ready while I made coffee in the kitchen. When Gemma was finished, we switched. I grabbed the clothes I'd prepared for today a month ago. The first outfit of the day, that is. Black ripped jeans, a striped long-sleeved shirt, an incredibly oversized Linkin Park T-shirt... my favourite things to wear. I had a much sexier outfit planned for tonight, though.