Just a Crush: Dear Diary (Oli Sykes)

Chapter Nine: Razor Pulse

'Mum and dad have promised to take me to Razor Pulse Festival after I turn 18. I don't know what difference two years might make. I'm young, but I'm not stupid. I know how to handle myself. I've told them that, but they said festivals were much more fun when you were allowed to drink. I sometimes wonder if my parents fell from Mars or something. I don't think they're allowed to encourage my drinking. I'm not complaining, though. They're just so weird sometimes.'

Trying to kiss Oli has been my biggest regret for four months now. April 10th was one of my lowest points ever. I had the world's worst hangover, I was devastated about being cheated on, and I felt guilty. I don't know which one of the three was the worst. The hangover passed by the end of the day. The devastation got a bit better when I kicked James in the balls on Monday, the 11th, but the guilt never went away. I tried messaging Oli, I tried calling, and I even tried talking to him in person after a couple of days. He didn't reply, nor did he answer the call. He wasn't home when I knocked on his door. I later realised that he wasn't even in London anymore. He'd gone somewhere. I wasn't sure if he'd gone back to Sheffield or on tour. I obsessively refreshed BMTH's Instagram page for weeks on end, hoping to get an update. However, the fact that they didn't post anything new meant that they weren't touring.

I was scared that he'd tell my parents what I tried to do. But he didn't. They would've said something when they returned at the end of April. I told them about what James had done. Dad wanted to murder him, but I reassured him that I'd already had my revenge. He was a bit horrified but mostly proud of me for what I'd done. The low blow wasn't the only punishment James received. I wasn't the most popular girl at my school, but I got along with everyone alright, so when they found out that he had cheated on me, most of everyone stopped talking to him. He tried defending himself with lies about me, but luckily, no one believed him. Everyone knew I wasn't really the slaggy type, so it was a bit of a miss when he'd tried convincing our classmates that I was the first one to cheat. Laurie almost murdered him for that one. Gemma held him back at first because she hadn't heard James's lie, but when she did, Laurie was the one to hold her back. I really loved my mates. Luckily, James and his parents returned to New Orleans at the end of the second term. Having been in a relationship with him did have its pluses, though. I was a bit more open to dating. Well, not dating exactly, but maybe casual snogging here and there. I did go a bit boy-crazy in summer. Gemma and I went clubbing every weekend, and we always found someone to snog. Laurie and Dom didn't want to go with us usually because, a, Gemma was Dom's sister, and b, I was like a sister to both of them. They called our hedonistic episodes minging. We were self-sufficient enough without them, though. It was fun. It made me forget about my embarrassment for a bit, at least.

Oh, when mum and dad returned from their tour, they gave me my birthday present. 4 VIP and backstage passes for Razor Pulse Festival. My mates were really chuffed when I told them. Mum and dad wouldn't be with us the entire time because they always played many consecutive festivals, not just Razor Pulse. But I really wasn't too gutted about that. I was planning on continuing my summer of hedonism at that festival, so it really would'nt've worked with my family there, would it have?

The original idea was that Gemma would participate in the bacchanalia with me, but the bint started dating someone two weeks before the festival. Not just someone, mind you. Three weekends before Razor Pulse, Laurie joined us when we went clubbing because Gemma had talked him into it. Well, the two of them got into a spat about who was better at flirting or something utterly stupid like that. One thing led to another, and I found them snogging in the girls' toilets. I screamed, as one does, and I really wished I'd had bleach to rinse my eyes with. They were shocked that I'd found them. Believe me, so was I. It was awkward afterwards, so I left early that night. A week later, they were already holding hands.

Dom isn't going to be much of a hedonist at Razor Pulse either because he's also started dating someone. She was a coworker of his, and she had tickets to Razor Pulse, too. So what was meant to be a proper mates trip has turned into me being the fifth wheel to two couples. But I don't care. I've been honing my flirting skills, and I will find someone for me at Razor Pulse. Maybe I'll even lose my virginity. Who cares at this point, right?