In the Palm of My Hand

Chapter 12

April 10, 2012

I stared at his eyes, wanting to ask why. Why this happened, but I held myself back. 

You're better than this. I told myself.

He looked back at me, his eyes cold. I searched for any sign of pain, sadness. But I saw nothing. Nothing but his icy blue eyes. And that's all there ever would be.

I opened my mouth, then quickly closed it again. 

You. Are. Better. Than. This. I quickly reminded myself, then turned around and walked away. I could feel him looking after me, but I didn't look back.

Just keep walking.

April 14, 2012

"What happened?" Skylar demanded, putting her hands on my shoulders.

I looked up from the ground. "Nothing."

"What happened?" she asked again, enunciating the 'happened'.

I looked her straight in the eyes, and repeated myself in the same tone she had used. She took her hands off my shoulders. I could feel her looking back at me as I walked away. 

I was a good thirty feet away from her, when she shouted out, "I know about you and Tyler!" I stopped walking, and turned around. 

"It doesn't matter anymore," I replied simply, then turned back around and kept walking. 

I could hear her struggling to keep up. The clacking of her high heels. "Look, it's nothing to be sad about, okay? I mean, if anything, you SHOULD care. Do you think he wanted to break up with you?" she asked, out of breath. 

I ignored her and kept walking all the way to my house, then stood at the front door, waiting for her. When she finally showed up, I stared her straight in the eyes. "If he didn't, he wouldn't have." She took off her heels and ran to me. 

"You're upset," she said sympathetically. 

"I really couldn't care less."

"Then why are you being like that?!" she shouted in distress. 

"Because, Skylar, he's nothing to me. He never was."

"You're lying. You know you like him." 

"Well, you're wrong. I don't." 

April 26, 2012

I sat in my desk, tapping my pencil on the desk. Mrs. Hutcherson just wouldn't quit talking. 5 minutes. I had asked for a seat change the day earlier and now sat to this annoying red-head named Angela. 

Poke. Poke. Poke.

I turned. "What," I asked for the fifth time. 

"You're not listening," she said bluntly and directed her head towards the teacher. 

"Clearly."

"Well listen," she retorted obnoxiously. 

"Yeaaah. No." I saw her roll her eyes from the corner of mine. She was writing down notes like mad.  She was the typical teacher's pet, who tried to get an A on everything by kissing-up. 

3 minutes. I yawned. 

2 minutes. 

1 minute. 

Bell. 

I grabbed my backpack as fast as I could, and hurried out the door before anyone could say anything that would keep me in there. 

May 15, 2012

Skylar hadn't talked me for a month. Not since I had gone off about Tyler. 

I really don't care anymore.

But that word stuck with me.

Anymore. 

As in I had cared. But I just didn't anymore. 

"He's nothing," I thought aloud. "And it's over. I don't care."

My mind wandered back to the day it had happened. April 1. He had looked me in the eyes. I slammed the door in his face. I stared at the ceiling from my bed, thinking. 

What happened, happened. 

"Yeah.. what happened, happened," I said to myself, and quickly pushed the thoughts out of my head. 

May 21, 2012 

"I know you think I'm annoying you," she started slowly, "but you need to tell the truth." 

"You are annoying me." 

"Did. You. Care. For. Tyler?" she asked, enunciating each word. 

I sighed. "I don't get why---------"

"Answer the question," she said, cutting me off.

"Yes."

"Then why are you acting like you don't care?"

"I'm not acting, Skylar. I don't care." 

"Yes you do! I know you do!" 

"See Skylar, that's the problem. I really don't. I don't care about Tyler. I don't care that we broke up. I feel NOTHING." 

She opened her mouth in shock. "W----." 

"Why do you look so surprised? This isn't new." 

She shook her head lightly. "You lit up with him. You smiled, laughed. Now you're back to being you." 

"And that's a bad thing?" I demanded. 

"It's easier to talk to someone who gets what it's like to have a boyfriend. You don't go 'ew' and all that stuff that you usually do, because you UNDERSTAND. Now you're you again. And you don't get ANYTHING." 

"So this is all about you?" I asked bluntly. 

"No. It's about you being happy. HE MADE YOU HAPPY." 

"And then he took that happiness and threw it in the trash." 

Skylar looked speechless. Did she get what she wanted from me? A confession of how I felt? 

She blinked several times, then went and hugged me. "I knew you cared." 

"Cared. Past tense," I said, but she didn't let go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sorry this took me so long to write. I get very lazy. :) But here it is, and it's summer vacation. So I get bored a lot. And when I'm bored I write. xD It's short. Sorry, and lots of dialogue. ^-^