Believe in Second Chances

14) Believe Again?

-Kylie

Ben is holding me. My whole body is rattling and, everyone is here... fuck...

"Kylie! What happened?!" Dan shouts, his eyes stuffed with emotions.

I try to get out some words, but I fall over my own words. Why is this so hard?

What have you done now?

"That's it, we have to take her to a therapist or something." Wayne argues, throwing his arms slightly.

"Maybe..." Dan mumbles.

"I don't kno..." Ben starts, voice without confidence.

"No! I'm ok!" I yell, making myself free from Ben's hold.

Since when was I on the floor?

I stand up. My arms are crossed and I notice myself narrowing my eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Kylie, not to sound mad or mean, but you need help." Wayne tries.

"I'm ok." I warn.

"Was this, ok?" Dan starts, clearly uncomfortable with my defensive attitude.

"I'm fine. A simply flaw in an otherwise calm state."

I hear how my lies rings though the room. For once sake; my voice is not breaking. I'm standing up for myself! Hell yeah!

"This isn't a small flaw, Kylie... and who knows how you're doing since... the... the..."

I stare intensely into Dan's eyes as he tries to finish the sentence. The thing you shouldn't mention... how dare he?!

I feel everything in me stir around. The anger is growing bigger to a point where I'm almost suffocating.

"Say it." I growl, feeling Ben's hands on my arms.

"Please, Kylie. Can't we all just let it go...?" his small voice mumbles.

"No. I want him to finish that sentence. Go a-fucking-head."

"Kylie, just forget it..." Dan pleads.

"How dare you try to tell me how to handle things? How dare you make my experiences into an argument?! How fucking dare you telling me how I feel, how I am? Were you there? Are you me? Do have any idea what my life has really been like?!"

"Kylie, please..."

"Not now, Ben. Dan, do you have any idea?"

"I guess not... please just, let go of it..."
"I never wanna sit in a room with a person asking me questions that make the guilt I already have grow even bigger."

"Kylie, nobody is blaming you here." Daniel, out of nowhere, hurries to say.

"Oh, not you. Your precious professionals tore me apart more than anyone in an 'attempt' to help me. They made me relive everything. It, was, torture. So get the fuck off my back because after years of training, I'm fine again. Not with the help of those assholes."

The room falls silent.

"Ok, dude, I'm sorry... can we just forget about this?"

"Mention it again, just fucking dare."
"We won't! Right, guys?" Ben stresses out.

Everyone nods, no eye contact given.

"Good, already forgotten." I state and smile.

My broken pieces grinds at each other as I move, like a smashed vase in a box.