Believe in Second Chances

17) Difficult

-Kylie

Ben and I are lying beside each other on our bed. Apparently it seems like I had gotten into mine on my own last night...

"You still look amazing with shaved hair." he murmurs and touches the small hairs.
"Do you got a shaved hair fetish or something?" I tease.

He laughs.
"No, but I'm just pointing that out. Though it feels kind of weird seeing you in this short hair..."

"Maybe."

I'm listening to the bus' slow rhythm as it goes. It calms me down a bit. Ben has his arm thrown around me, I'm lying by his chest.
This is such a precious moment. I can feel his presence, after all these years. I feel Ben close to me.

Safe. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. Right now, everything seems to move so slowly. Ben's warmth is contagious, so I'm suddenly feeling warm. I seriously like this, this is better than any drug I've tried.

We're quietly breathing in and out. Every part of me is somehow calmed down. I'm not the restless way of always moving and thinking. There's only calm and peace around me. May I call this moment perfect?

Do not ruin this now, Kylie.

I grin with closed eyes, nearing Ben even more. I inhale his scent and feel myself calm down. I need this.
I have needed a quiet and calm moment for so long. So many times, I've tried to creating my own, which always led to bad roads. Now I found a better way and I won't forget the formula of this, ever. In this case, there are not worried gazes, life or death situations nor a cost.

I want to tell Ben about the other things. I know he tries his best to understand, but I'm not sure he'd want me after I tell him.
There will always be insecurity between us if I tell him. I can't handle that no longer... Becca had enough of that, I can't help to see Ben be like that. I have to take things slow now...

-Ben

Kylie has fallen asleep right by my chest. It's 11 AM, I can see that on my watch.

I smile at the sight, my Kylie. She had shaved off her entire hair last night. Guess if it was a shock when I saw her in the morning!
But it makes her eyes more visible. Never did I see how almond shaped they are. Wow!

Her narrow little body is almost wrapped around mine. My thoughts keep coming back to the old days.

Her brown and blonde hair. She looked so rebellious! Oh, and then there's me... oh god... I had for a while this pot hair cut for a long while. I rather not think about that...
Never again.

I chuckle at the thought, waking Kylie up.

"What's so funny?" she purrs, her voice sounding croaky.
"Nah, nothing."

"Well, you just woke me up..."
She stretches and yawns, closing her eyes again.

"Sorry about that."
"Whatever." she mumbles tiredly.

"Can I get up?" I ask her sarcastically.

Kylie opens her eyes slightly, grinning.
"Nope. You shall stay here forever."

"Seriously?"
"Meh..." she growls and unwraps herself from me.

I give her a light kiss before letting go completely.

"Thank you." I chuckle when she lets me go.
"Fuck off."
"Ok then."

I get out of the dark bed and peer around.

Where are they? Asleep? Dude, someone's got to be awake!

I pace around and end up at the dinner table, where Wayne is.
"Hi."
"Hey,"