Believe in Second Chances

28) Run

-Kylie

Dan stares at the ground, paralyzed and with a burning cigarette butt in his hand.
"Wow..."

And by that, I am no longer a puppet.

"What d'you think?" I ask nervously.

"I'm so sorry for all that..."
"I'm fine now, I have Ben. I'm getting better."
"I guess, but wow, Kylie, I had no idea."
"Yeah, it's not really visible..."

We flick away the cigarettes, lighting new ones just after.

"Sometimes, I just feel like crap and I write. Kylie, I write. I've written in my journals because that's an escape. I thought it was just me. But, dammit, I just feel so robbed now. Everything I am, everything I dream of, they all know..." Dan murmurs, his glance hanging low.

"I get it. It was kinda crappy of them to do that."
"I know! It was my safe zone, but not anymore."

"So, they know that you smoke or smoked now?" I wonder as I exhale.

Dan shimmers with a smirk. The bright light embracing him as he raises his eyebrows.
"Not really... y'know, I never used the word cigarettes. It was an unconscious just-in-case thing. My little friends are unknown..."

"You mean ex friends?"
"Whatever Kylie, no need for details."
"You're smoking right now though..."

"Well, tonight I feel crappy. But if you see me with another one, drag me to the ground."

I start laughing, bubbly and unexpected. Dan joins in as well, soon we're both laughing for no damn reason.

It feels great.

We eventually have to go back, right after doing a "sniff-test" and wandering around a bit. Neither of us want to be caught smoking. The cold air feels worse when I don't have much hair. My scalp senses more cold than I need to. Dammit.

"So what do you think I should do?" Dan asks me, giving me a powerless and jaded glance.

I stop my tracks, poundering for my next say. It's hard, I want this fight to end but I understand how Dan feels. The plastic bag is placed by my feet.

"Well, I can't really decide for you. But promise to talk with them about it."

"You know best, Ky..," he remarks, "I'm glad you're back, I've missed you."

That, makes me smile. Really hard.

We go back to the tour bus, Dan waiting outside for an extra bit. He breathes in, closing his eyes and licking his lips. I can see how hard it is for Dan.

Preparation, preparation, preparation.

"You ready?"
"Ky."
"Yeah?"
"Do I have to have the talk today?"
"I guess not..."
"Good."
"But don't be ignoring this for a month."
"Ok, ok, next week."
"Dan..."
"This weekend?"
"Dan."
"Ok, in two days. I'm not doing it tomorrow."
"That's better at least."

Ben is the first person we see as I open the door.
"Hey, Kylie! Dan! I was worried..."

I hug him, kissing his cheek.
"It's cool, we're ok..."

"I was worried..." Ben repeats ass he breaks from the hug.

His deep blue eyes are gleaming of worry.

Dan hurries behind me to the bathroom. Not a word.

"Where are the rest?" I ask, pacing to the kitchen with the heavy bags.

"Sleeping or something." Ben replies.

"Sorry that it took time."
"What happened?"
"Nothing special, had a little chat."