Believe in Second Chances

16) Tiny Stings Bring Beauty

-Kylie

Waking up in my bunker bed, confused. I haven't slept here ever, I always slept in Ben's bed?

It takes a while for me to get used to the dark environment, so I can get out. Blinking my eyes a couple of times and then I start my memory.

What happened last night?

All I remember was when I got to the bathroom to throw up. Then it's all blank, cut off, poof, gone! Confusing as hell...

I cough and aim to scratch my hair.

Wait...

I run my hands through my hair rapidly with shock. There's nothing but stubble there... I fucking shaved all my hair off! My breathing increases its pace and I keep searching for my long hair. Not there.

I shaved my hair off! I have only stubble! My hair is gone!

I rush up from the bed and hurry to the bathroom mirror. As I go by, I ignore the stares from the people whom are up.

The mirror agrees with what I found. I have shaved off all my hair. In front of me, there stands a woman with her eyelashes longer than her hair. She leaves a sad vibes by the view and I suddenly see all the scars. I have so many scars on my head after... y'know... It's scary to stare at, because I soak up the memories from them.

But most of all, I notice that I've gained weight. I don't know how to react, I will deal with that later. Right now I should probably focus on my hair. I wish... I mean... what.... it's a bit... I feel...

Honestly, I don't feel especially panicked about it. Weird, huh?

Now I remember! I was drunk and felt like the whole world was collapsing. I needed something to establish my control.
Maybe that's why I don't feel bad over this? I can at least control my hair, right? It's not too bad. Shocking? A bit, yes. However not bad or something to panic over.

I'm really confused though.

When I take another look at the woman in front of me, I feel powerful. I've taken control, most importantly, control over my body. So many times people have been doing instead. Either they thought they know what's best for me, or they thought about what's best for them. Well, bad news; I've taken my control back!

I did this.

I bow down and study the floor. Yeah, there are some black hair here and there. Did someone clean up after me?
Wow, in that case, things just got a little more awkward... and also, I still have to present my new look. That may be also a little awkward.

Goddammit, Kylie. You can never stop making people worried, huh? We knew that you would come back to your old ways. You always do. Come back to us, because we're all you have. We're all you can trust. We're the only ones who care. We're the only ones who'll love you for who you really are. We know who you are.

Stop it!

When the others find out, they will all run the other way.

I said, stop it!

You know it's true. You're too complicated. We would never do that...

Shut up!

I hear a knocking on the door out of nowhere. I shake my head and glance at myself in the mirror again.

"Kylie? Kylie? Can you hurry up a bit?" Lexi asks.

I swallow and plaster a smile on my face.
"Of course! Hold on!"